chap
Active Member
kudos dude! sounds like you handled the day like a boss!
Kraken's journal
- Thread starter Kraken
- Start date
chap
Active Member
Take care and have a good time! Looking forward to seeing your next entry
It’s been busy! I have family visiting this week and then I’ll be traveling this weekend. Things have been going well, and I’m really glad I got back on the forums a few weeks ago. Works been a tad stressful and I haven’t done as well with eating well but in general it has been awesome to ski so much and spend time with family. I tried a bunch of different demo skis and am playing on buying a set at the end of the season. On the p side of things, I’ve had occasional fantasy before bed so I think I will continue doing the calm as that helped me last week to fall asleep.
You should, it’s very challenging and a lot of fun!
Had a bit of a close call today on the pmo side of things. I’m sure the first part of this will sound familiar. I was watching YouTube shorts from a channel that was about cars and suddenly one of them had him and an adult entertainer on there. I found it super triggering and became pretty horny. Thankfully I was able to take a step back, put my phone in a drawer on the other side of the room and checked in with my body. I found that I was actually horny and then I mo’d to sensation and thoughts of recent sex I’d had. After that I took a shower and got back to work. I feel good about this choice and I’ve very happy I didn’t go down the p rabbit hole.
In this phase of my life years after my reboot, I am learning more about my natural rhythms and accepting them and incorporating mo’ing in a way I find to be healthy. In the past I could not separate mo from pmo. But now, they feel super different and not at all the same.
Also had my second therapy today and it went really well. I am learning a lot about myself and making connections I’ve never made by myself.
Kraken
In this phase of my life years after my reboot, I am learning more about my natural rhythms and accepting them and incorporating mo’ing in a way I find to be healthy. In the past I could not separate mo from pmo. But now, they feel super different and not at all the same.
Also had my second therapy today and it went really well. I am learning a lot about myself and making connections I’ve never made by myself.
Kraken
Had a bit of an odd day yesterday in the trigger and stress d. For context, I’ve been dealing with a lot of work stress and exhaustion due to a canceled flight and traveling. I had great sex in the morning and then I did a workout and then I mo’d twice which is a bit unusual but I was feeling very horny. I also went to the apartment hot tub and did a little meditation in there based on what I learned from the calm app radical self care. I also upped my therapy frequency starting in a few weeks and cleaned my apartment some and played video games with a good friend.
So yeah a bit of a tougher day yesterday for stress but I’m proud of how I handled it. In the past I was very conflicted about Mo but I’m finding ways to incorporate it in a healthy way by not fantasizing about porn and instead focusing on feeling and sensation.
I incorporated many skills and tools I’ve learned in order to manage the stress when it popped up and I think that all of that helped a lot. I just wanted to share this because not every day is all roses and perfect but today is a brand new day!
Kraken
So yeah a bit of a tougher day yesterday for stress but I’m proud of how I handled it. In the past I was very conflicted about Mo but I’m finding ways to incorporate it in a healthy way by not fantasizing about porn and instead focusing on feeling and sensation.
I incorporated many skills and tools I’ve learned in order to manage the stress when it popped up and I think that all of that helped a lot. I just wanted to share this because not every day is all roses and perfect but today is a brand new day!
Kraken
Things have been going well in general! I still get tempted and get triggered my pmo thoughts from time to time but I’ve been doing a better job of managing stress and channeling that energy through better eating exercise, getting out of the house more and through doing therapy to learn more about myself.
Keep up the good work everyone,
Kraken
Keep up the good work everyone,
Kraken
Today I was feeling really tired, and got triggered somehow not sure exactly how it all happened but I pmod to some light material. It’s disappointing but I’m trying to focus on not spiraling and on doing as much self care today as I can. It’s okay to struggle, sending long distance good vibes and love to you all, things will be better soon.
Kraken
Kraken
I successfully did not fall into the chaser and was able to right the ship and have a good evening. I did the work I needed to do but didn’t do extra. I used all the time I could for self care, I took a bath, watched a show, was honest with my fiancé about my struggling and did not hide that fact, talked to a friend as well. Also took a nice walk and went to bed early. The next day was actually a great day and I am back on the up and up.
Peace,
Kraken
Peace,
Kraken
Slipped up tonight. It’s a real bummer because my fiancé is out of town for a few days and I don’t want to feel like I self destruct when alone. I am making a commitment for the day and a half to embrace all the good habits I’ve learned to prevent this slip from leading into a depression. It’s just a moment. I don’t know why suddenly I’m having more trouble with pmo but the thing is, I am not alone. I have wayyy more support and strength than when I began this journey over three years ago. I have therapy this week and I am glad that I will be able to talk about my struggle then.
wishing you all well,
Kraken
wishing you all well,
Kraken
All the best. Have a plan for when you are triggered.
