Kraken's journal
- Thread starter Kraken
- Start date
I do feel a little fatigued this morning but was able to have a nice breakfast with my wife before work. Those little moments are so amazing and underrated.
I have a lot of work tasks and meetings today and a few personal chores to do so I feel a little overwhelmed with the amount. Work has gotten very intense and my boss comes back from vacation next week so I want to make sure I use this week to make sure I am ready for his return. I have a lot of exciting opportunities to be a leader at this company and I am growing to meet the challenges.
My plan for today:
Prevent overwhelm by having a prioritized to do list and a second list with only the top two items so I do t have to look at the whole list. I am also going to play music during my focus task today. Additionally I am going to do a slightly longer walk with my dog, plus yoga or a meditation. And if my energy dips in a few hours I am going to do my kettlebell workout with some hype music to propel me through the afternoon. I also have the business center I can do at the end of the day if I need a change of scenery.
I’m positive news, since posting on this forum my hope and mood has improved dramatically. Posting here does me a lot of good. When I started posting here 5 years ago it lead to the greatest moments of my life. No joke.
Sending good long distance vibes and thoughts. You are not alone
Kraken
I have a lot of work tasks and meetings today and a few personal chores to do so I feel a little overwhelmed with the amount. Work has gotten very intense and my boss comes back from vacation next week so I want to make sure I use this week to make sure I am ready for his return. I have a lot of exciting opportunities to be a leader at this company and I am growing to meet the challenges.
My plan for today:
Prevent overwhelm by having a prioritized to do list and a second list with only the top two items so I do t have to look at the whole list. I am also going to play music during my focus task today. Additionally I am going to do a slightly longer walk with my dog, plus yoga or a meditation. And if my energy dips in a few hours I am going to do my kettlebell workout with some hype music to propel me through the afternoon. I also have the business center I can do at the end of the day if I need a change of scenery.
I’m positive news, since posting on this forum my hope and mood has improved dramatically. Posting here does me a lot of good. When I started posting here 5 years ago it lead to the greatest moments of my life. No joke.
Sending good long distance vibes and thoughts. You are not alone
Kraken
Day 6! The day is going well so far, I moved some option work training meetings off my schedule to help with the overwhelm and to prioritize other more important work tasks. I think I will do a mid day workout to build some energy. I did very solid work this morning that I feel good about.
I’m happy with how this week is going compared to last week. The family drama makes me a sad and so does the loss of the pregnancy. Some time has passed but that loss is still very present. I’ll be away from home for a week soon so I will need to be smart while I’m away
I’m excited for it being the end of the week and I’m happy with the adjustments I made. Today I have hardly any meetings and lots of focus tasks to do. My plan is put in some music and focus until the afternoon, do some yoga or meditation and then work somewhere different from the office in the afternoon. I also plan on hiking with my wife today which will be awesome. I also have a dr appt in the afternoon so that will be nice to create some variety in the day.
I did good this week. Got the important things done at work. Didn’t play any video games during working hours. No pmo. Did two tough workouts plus a bike ride and a hike. Did yoga twice. Spent more time with my wife and we have fun plans for tomorrow.
Have a great weekend!
Have a great weekend!
Today was was really fun! I’ve been on the lookout for a car for months now and the right one turned up today and we bought it! My wife and I had a great breakfast and did car stuff all day. This means I now have transportation to go placing during the work day. Which is a big game changer. I intend to use that this work week to break up the day and create some variety.
chap
Active Member
hey kraken, im so sorry to hear about the stress you have been going through regarding family. i think you have every right to feel the way that you do, and i think it sounds like you want things to get better between certain members like your family. i think your thoughts and feelings matter, so i hope that whatever you choose to end up doing, u put urself first. ur focus and ur responsibilities, in my opinion, should come first. keep up the amazing stuff u have been doing, hang in there!
Yesterday went well, my wife and I slept in, had a nice breakfast, I did some chores then we spent the rest of the day at my younger sister’s place. She moved out to the same state I moved to, far from home and I’ve really grateful for the relationship we have. My older sister has been really challenging but my younger sister has been very supportive.
I had half a kombucha before bed and I think that made it difficult to sleep. They do have a little caffeine but I didn’t think it was enough to affect my sleep, but it seemed to. When I have trouble falling asleep sometime I think about sexual fantasies which I did a little last night. I’ve noticed that what I think about before falling asleep tends to manifest later on so I am making the intention not to manifest pmo and to do a short meditation with my headphones instead, next time I have trouble falling asleep.
In other news, my company is flying me across the country to do some high level business planning. It’s very exciting but I am a little nervous to be alone in a hotel for a week, as I am sure you can understand. It’s a good opportunity for my career though and I feel confident I will do well.
I had half a kombucha before bed and I think that made it difficult to sleep. They do have a little caffeine but I didn’t think it was enough to affect my sleep, but it seemed to. When I have trouble falling asleep sometime I think about sexual fantasies which I did a little last night. I’ve noticed that what I think about before falling asleep tends to manifest later on so I am making the intention not to manifest pmo and to do a short meditation with my headphones instead, next time I have trouble falling asleep.
In other news, my company is flying me across the country to do some high level business planning. It’s very exciting but I am a little nervous to be alone in a hotel for a week, as I am sure you can understand. It’s a good opportunity for my career though and I feel confident I will do well.
I had a great day yesterday, I had therapy and that was helpful. I’ve been doing that for over a year and it’s made a big difference.
Today I have non stop meetings all day. I am also going on a business trip for half of next week, it was going to be a full week but plans shifted. I’m kind of glad to not be gone as long.
I also have some family coming to stay with us for a few days so it’s going be a busy day. My intention is to take it easy where I can to prevent overwhelm.
Today I have non stop meetings all day. I am also going on a business trip for half of next week, it was going to be a full week but plans shifted. I’m kind of glad to not be gone as long.
I also have some family coming to stay with us for a few days so it’s going be a busy day. My intention is to take it easy where I can to prevent overwhelm.
Today is the first day of the work week where I don’t have a jam packed schedule all day. I do have family staying at my house which is cool, I do like hosting.
My intention today after getting some high priority work tasks done is to spend some solid time learning, I haven’t done that in a while. I have a few work books I’m reading and some certifications as well. I think that will be a good way to have some variety in the day and maybe make the day a little more relaxing.
I’ve been spending more time with my wife since doing the reboot and that feels amazing. No matter how much I try, when I’m using pmo, it creates a barrier of shame in my mind that affects me in many different ways. It feels good that those feeling are dissipating now.
We took the new car out to get ice cream together last night and it was very nice. It’s the little things like that, that make me really happy.
My intention today after getting some high priority work tasks done is to spend some solid time learning, I haven’t done that in a while. I have a few work books I’m reading and some certifications as well. I think that will be a good way to have some variety in the day and maybe make the day a little more relaxing.
I’ve been spending more time with my wife since doing the reboot and that feels amazing. No matter how much I try, when I’m using pmo, it creates a barrier of shame in my mind that affects me in many different ways. It feels good that those feeling are dissipating now.
We took the new car out to get ice cream together last night and it was very nice. It’s the little things like that, that make me really happy.
Mostly through the workday now but have a a few hours left. I was thinking of playing a video game or two at lunch because the morning was so unexpectedly busy and my boss was giving me a tough time but I moved my gaming keyboard and only bring it out of its hiding spot after work. I’ve found that playing during the work day even when setting timers always leads to a bad day. So I’m not going to do that today.
I talked to my mom and told her that I reached out to my sister offering to talk and that my sister declined to talk to me. My mom was saying that might not be enough and I pushed back on that. My sister really hurt me with how she responded to me losing my twins during my wife’s pregnancy. I left the door open to having a relationship with my sister and reached out but I cannot put in effort for myself and for my sister. She needs to put in effort too. I feel good about not letting my mom put the pressure of maintaining the relationship with my sister all on me. Because that doesn’t work anyway.
I talked to my mom and told her that I reached out to my sister offering to talk and that my sister declined to talk to me. My mom was saying that might not be enough and I pushed back on that. My sister really hurt me with how she responded to me losing my twins during my wife’s pregnancy. I left the door open to having a relationship with my sister and reached out but I cannot put in effort for myself and for my sister. She needs to put in effort too. I feel good about not letting my mom put the pressure of maintaining the relationship with my sister all on me. Because that doesn’t work anyway.
I had a good day yesterday. Work has been very busy and my quality of work is improve which I feel good about. My family stayed with us but now they left, it was nice to see them. Today I’m planning on more restful activities where I can, like learning planning, yoga mediation etc. I’m pretty tired today.