Kraken's journal

[Kraken]

I ended up doing a 20 minute run yesterday and that helped a lot with the restless energy I was dealing with that was pulling me towards p. So I’m happy about making a good decision there.

Oh the tidying side of things, I folded all the laundry I washed last week. It took 2.5 hours so it was a huge pile but it felt good. I watched tv while I was doing it. Also met my therapist in person yesterday for an in person session and that was cool. So much of my life is online, I am moving something’s offline where I can.

Sending you the best vibes,

Kraken

 

[Kraken]

Had a really challenging pmo free day yesterday. It’s been very emotional and difficult over here due to my wife’s body still not being back to normal after our miscarriage loss. Works also been very busy and draining.

So I was feeling really down yesterday and just wanted to feel better. Over three hours, three times I almost went to p. I pulled up the internet device and started to search on a social media site for censored content. But I stopped before getting into anything. It was an intense battle for hours back and forth but I held out!

Eventually, there was an opening when I got interrupted by a package delivery. I used that opening to connect with an insight I uncovered with my therapist that for me, pmo always comes when I am lost in my head and am totally ungrounded.

So I did a 20 minute ride on the stationary bike we just got as a gift. And wouldn’t you know, that made a tremendous difference in my mind and I was able to leave the stormy clouds and come back to earth.

In other news, I am one workout away from 4 weeks straight of 3 times a week .

Hang in there fellas,

Kraken

 

[Kraken]

Yesterday we found that my wife is pregnant! It’s an exciting amazing feeling. A sense of relief of hope and joy.

Also I just completed my last workout of the week so I have now officially completed 4 weeks straight of 3 days a week. It’s been good for my mind and body.

 

[Blondie]

Congrats @Kraken! That is amazing news.

 

[Kraken]

On the pmo side of things, it’s been challenging because I haven’t been able to be so intimate with my wife due to medical reason from the pregnancy. But I didn’t go to any p site and held strong even through it got a little close for comfort. So that’s ultimately a great thing. We are getting the baby checked out today and I’m a bit nervous but really hope everything is okay. No negative symptoms, just a regular check up.

Been working out 3 times a week for over 7 weeks and I’ve been eating more vegetables recently too which has helped me feel good.

Sending you all good vibes,

Kraken

 

[Kraken]

Challenging day in the pmo side of things. Light content I pmod to, which is a silver lining but still concerning of course. I’ll talk to my therapist today about it. Lots of changes and stress happening. The baby is healthy and I’m super excited. My whole life is changing and I’m happy for that. Hanging in there, and I’m about to go on a business trip where I’ll be in a hotel alone so I’ll be posting here each day I’m in that more challenging context. Gonna beat the chaser.

Wishing you well

 

[Kraken]

With the help of my therapist I was able to stabilize and see the slip in the bigger picture. Halfway through my business trip and things are going well. I m’od once but no p so that’s awesome. The business side of things is going very well. I’m proud of the skills I’m learning and the direction of my career is looking up!

Sending you all love,

Kraken

 

[Kraken]

Works been super stressful and we had a scare with the pregnancy yesterday that shook me badly. Everything turned out okay but it was terrifying. On the pmo side I got triggered by a library book of all things which I did not see coming. I mo’d to it twice then returned it and I’m glad that I returned it. I was tempted a few days after that to get it again and even went on to do so but someone else had checked it out already lol so that was good.

I’m just hanging in there. Did a meditation this morning and will focus and on self care the rest of this week.

Kraken