stepbystep's journal

[ShadeTrenicin]

Hey stepbystep,

I use step 2 and 3 at the same time and found that it really helps.

I say to myself when im almost on progress of doing or going to: "IS this really who I want to be? I love myself and i dont deserve to feel terrible about myself after this"

I combine this with immediately doing push-ups / weightlifting or something really really unsexy like the dishes or thinking about doing the laundry..

Of course the phrases and actions are different per person, but maybe it will help you.

good luck brother

 

[stepbystep]

Thanks man for the encouragement. It really helps. I?m back on track. I?m going to plan and enjoy my Sunday today.

 

[stepbystep]

I've been struggling lately. Now, I'm trying to figure out what are the things I can do to make changes. Consistency is going to be key. Maybe I'll attend some online meetings, post here more often, have clear plans for the weekends. I know I'm vulnerable when I'm sick or have a headache. Regular sleep schedule helps so I'll work on that for the weekends. When I feel a urge,

1. repeat a phrase, and do something really hard
2. like go for exercise or wash the dishes. Do not think!

 

[ShadeTrenicin]

Hey!

Good that you admit that you are struggling and when you are weak.

Also nice that you've came up with something to repeat and something to do.

Although the dishes are boring as hell, they will bring you a lot more fulfillment than PMO-ing. Keep on going. And keep posting. We are all interested in your progress and here for you if you are struggling. Use that to the max!!


Stay strong, I'm rooting for yyou

 

[ShadeTrenicin]

Hey step-by-step, how are things going???

Please keep us updated, we're all interested in how you are doing man

 

[stepbystep]

Thanks ShadeTrenicin for dropping by.

I stopped coming to this forum for a while. It?s not been bad but I did go back to porn and masturbation many times. I?m trying to get back to a reboot. I?ve never been very religious but I just don?t know what do now other than pray that I get over this. I should post more regularly from here on.

Day 1.

 

[stepbystep]

Nothing to report other than Day 2!

 

[ShadeTrenicin]

Hey Stepbystep,

It is always nice to have religion for support but also don't underestimate yourself. The fact that you are still coming on here show that you still have commitment to defeat this addiction.

So, what's the situation with you currently? You are now at day two which is great. Have you identified the most likely pitfalls coming to you in the next couple of days? From experience most guys experience strong urges around day 4-8. That is coming up for you. Any idea what triggers you the most?


It's good to see you on here again my friend, I am as alwasy rooting for you

 

[Readytoreboot]

Stepbystep, I feel your struggle as Im on day 3 now and im also back on here to post to help guide my road to recovery. I believe we are similar to cpu?s in a way and we have to reprogram our minds with a new program that will replace the old program of P that we?ve ingrained in ourselves. I also look at it as Ive got a bad habit and need to replace it with a new habit. A bad habit is like a parasite that feeds everytime we give it energy. Here?s a quote from and old book about concentration that Ive read. Hope this might be useful for you as it is for me and hang in there, well get thru this.
?Doctor Oppenheim's instructions for overcoming a habit:

"If you want to abolish a habit, and its accumulated circumstances as well, you must grapple with the matter as earnestly as you would with a physical enemy. You must go into the encounter with all tenacity of determination, with all fierceness of resolve?yea, even with a passion for success that may be called vindictive. No human enemy can be as insidious, so persevering, as unrelenting as an unfavorable habit. It never sleeps, it needs no rest.?

Excerpt From
The Power of Concentration
Theron Q. Dumont

 

[stepbystep]

So, what's the situation with you currently? You are now at day two which is great. Have you identified the most likely pitfalls coming to you in the next couple of days? From experience most guys experience strong urges around day 4-8. That is coming up for you. Any idea what triggers you the most?

Thanks ShadeTrenicin for the support. I think the biggest pitfall for me is my beliefs. Somehow in my head I have these beliefs: 1. I NEED masturbation to be healthy, 2. I am not strong enough to stop masturbation. The conflicting belief in my head is that Porn is unhealthy and I need to stop it. The problem is that for me porn and masturbation are so tied up together that I cannot separate them. Anyway, I'm getting better recognizing these beliefs. I do not need porn. I do not need masturbation. I can do this.

The biggest triggers for me is mindless scrolling in my phone and also any stress and also thinking about the mistakes I made in the past.

 

[stepbystep]

Hi Readytoreboot, thanks for dropping by! Good to hear you are also on day 3 -- let's make it through together! Nice quote. One thing I learned recently is that the environment makes a big difference. Can I make it harder to access? Can I keep the phone far away from me in the morning or night when I'm triggered? These are the things I've been thinking through.

 

[stepbystep]

Day 2 for me again. The main problem was not me avoiding temptation but my own beliefs that said ?this isn?t bad.? I consciously went to it. I do not need this.

 

[stepbystep]

Day 3. Today I will not use.

 

[ShadeTrenicin]

Hey Buddy, great going on day 3 and also on the recognition of your beliefs, true or false. It's learning things like that especially that will over time help you in beating this addiction. Withdrawal,urges and even relapses are all part of the journey and each and every one of them are learning opportunities if you are willing to see them and not want to fool yourself.


Good luck my friend

 

[stepbystep]

Thanks for the encouragement ShadeTrenicin! Yea I need to being positive and move forward!

 

[stepbystep]

Day 4. Starting to feel some tempting thoughts but this is normal. Everyone has thoughts once in a while but we don?t have to act on them.

 

[stepbystep]

Day 5. Hanging in there. I have tempting thoughts but I don?t want to go there.

 

[ShadeTrenicin]

Hey buddy, you're doing great! Hang in there, and stay vigilant and activr. Replace PMO possibilties with something productive!!!

 

[stepbystep]

Thanks Shade. I?ve now gotten into a routine of posting here on a regular basis. That is definitely helping. Another thing is like you said planning my day with productive activities like going out for a walk, watching TV, or picking up a book.

 

[stepbystep]

Day 6. Nothing more to say.