stepbystep's journal

stepbystep

Active Member
Day 12. Hanging in there. I keep getting the urge to search names of people in p. I gotta avoid that. I?m going to read a book or watch a movie or workout. I will be fine.
 

quitforeverthenwin2

Well-Known Member
Great job man! Glad to see when you get the urge and it's difficult, you are choosing to take a healthy action. That is what the recovery is all about!
 

stepbystep

Active Member
Thanks quitforeverthenwin2!

Day 20. Still struggling. Almost relapsed today. Instead of using porn, I'm going to wrap up and sleep early today instead. That's what is healthy and what I will do.
 

ShadeTrenicin

Well-Known Member
Great job, stay strong!!!! From what I read I see that you recognize the triggers and prelude to the act and not act on it.
 

stepbystep

Active Member
Thanks ShadeTrenicin.

Struggling again today. Searched it but stopped and came here instead. I?m not sure what drives me to porn. I think it?s my insecurities (whether people like me) and also my desire to do something I?m not supposed to. Anyway, I?m here and am not going back there. I?m going to spend time with family and help around the house today. If I have any extra time, I will read or exercise / go for a walk.

Day 21.
 

stepbystep

Active Member
Struggling again but hanging in there. I?m in a bad mood today and irritated so I?m easily susceptible. Going to work hard cleaning the housing now.
 

stepbystep

Active Member
Wow, so many struggles in the same day. I searched again but stopped. I?m praying for the obsession to be gone. Now I?m going to just read before sleeping. I can get through this!
 

stepbystep

Active Member
Struggled and searched. I gotta to stop the middle circling but it is really hard.

Day 23.

Now I?m just going to cook, socialize, read or watch a movie. I don?t need porn in my life.
 

stepbystep

Active Member
Struggled and ended up watching some tv series with sexual content. Praying that I stay away next time. I can do it!
 

stepbystep

Active Member
Already broke my New Years resolution by searching. I?m not giving up. I?m still going to do my best to stick to the resolution. Now I?m going to take an online course and read and spend time with friends in the evening.
 

stepbystep

Active Member
Broke it again :( . This time I got further, searched and viewed. I?m going to try my best to stay away. I?m going to read a book now. It?s really hard to stop but I?m not giving up.
 

ShadeTrenicin

Well-Known Member
Hey step-by-step, it it would cost you no effort it wouldn't be hard. And quiting porn is extremely hard. Don't beat yourself up, you are only human and it's okay to make mistakes. They're part of the journey. You can learn from each one of them. Forgive yourself for searching and viewing. Show yourself some kindness. You have mine as well.

Keep going strong brother.
 

stepbystep

Active Member
Thanks ShadeTrenicin, appreciate the support. I'm doing better but still struggling. Today I searched but stopped right away and came here. Now I'm going to get back to some work I have and maybe read or take a walk outside.
 

stepbystep

Active Member
Struggled last few days but I?m right back on track. Slowly it?s getter better. Just a couple of weeks ago I was search couple of times everyday. Now it?s a lot less than that.

Day 31.
 

stepbystep

Active Member
Struggled again. Searched and viewed but stopped. I think things are getting better for me, but I can plan better. If I feel the urge, I can:

1. Pray to have the obsession be removed
2. Repeat phrase in my head to relax myself
3. Do something else like read or watch a movie

Second, I have a clear plan for every evening. Things to do, etc.
 
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