searching4good
Active Member
Hey @GeminiMan - acknowledging the slip and committing to starting again is the hardest bit. Stay on here and get right back on that horse - we're here in your corner with you.
Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
- Thread starter GeminiMan
- Start date
Thank you man !
Last 4 days basically what I did was edged myself to hell . Edged on chatrooms and P sites and cam sites basically switching from one to another . And then yesterday and today MOed to chat/P/Cams.
4 days back at some point I was standing at the “fork” Where I had to make a decision whether I should access P or do something else !
only when I was at that moment at that fork I had the power of choice to get my freedom from P
I lost it .
I am sure I will be standing at that fork in just a few days again may be 5,6 days from now .
How on earth will I kick P at that moment and do something else? because the pull will be so strong !
I need to make that pull weaker and weaker that’s the only way to win this war .
Attack is the best form of defense
And I will try to fit back my day to day into my 10 foundations I have identified to be essential for my life to beat P out of my life
my reboot foundations -
1. procrastination (leads to stress build up and seek comfort in P)
2. Overeating (this is a cue for me to relapse)
3. Hanging out with phone unnecessarily
4. Not engaging in interesting hobbies projects enough
5. Thinking that I cannot stop or pull myself back when triggered by P thoughts .
6. Not engaging with wife in real life sex regularly
7. Thinking wrongly that I need P to be happy and thriving .
8. Not following a daily discipline schedule that works for me .not planning my next day/week and adhering to it .
9. Not going to sleep early .lurking awake
10. Thinking I am not responsible for small actions or choices I make day to day or for my overall fate .
Definitely, GeminiMan! You will overcome for this. It will not always be like this, you will learn yourself more and more, and you will make healthier and healthier decisions.
There will come a time when you won't be able to recognize your former addictions anymore.
There will come a time when you won't be able to recognize your former addictions anymore.
I hope your words turn to truth for myself and a million others like me !
No matter how bad each one of us is in their recovery it’s always worth striving for sobriety because-
“being a P addict it always and only gets worse and being sober it only and always gets better”
So small progress made in recovery counts as much as big progress in clean streaks .
plunging into day 1 tomorrow with my 10 foundations for P addiction recovery
my reboot foundations -
1. Avoid procrastination (leads to stress build up and seek comfort in P)
2. Avoid Overeating (this is a cue for me to relapse)
3. Avoid Hanging out with phone unnecessarily
4. engaging in interesting hobbies projects enough so that I don’t have time for other non sense such as P or chatrooms
5. Stop Thinking that I cannot stop or pull myself back when triggered by P thoughts .
6. engaging with wife in real life sex regularly with planned date nights regularly
7. Avoid Thinking wrongly that I need P to be happy and thriving .
8. follow a daily discipline schedule that works for me .planning my next day/week and adhering to it .
9. Avoid Not going to sleep early .lurking awake
10. Stop Thinking I am not responsible for small actions
“being a P addict it always and only gets worse and being sober it only and always gets better”
So small progress made in recovery counts as much as big progress in clean streaks .
plunging into day 1 tomorrow with my 10 foundations for P addiction recovery
my reboot foundations -
1. Avoid procrastination (leads to stress build up and seek comfort in P)
2. Avoid Overeating (this is a cue for me to relapse)
3. Avoid Hanging out with phone unnecessarily
4. engaging in interesting hobbies projects enough so that I don’t have time for other non sense such as P or chatrooms
5. Stop Thinking that I cannot stop or pull myself back when triggered by P thoughts .
6. engaging with wife in real life sex regularly with planned date nights regularly
7. Avoid Thinking wrongly that I need P to be happy and thriving .
8. follow a daily discipline schedule that works for me .planning my next day/week and adhering to it .
9. Avoid Not going to sleep early .lurking awake
10. Stop Thinking I am not responsible for small actions
searching4good
Active Member
I love that quote @GeminiMan - you're absolutely right. No matter how we feel or what else is going on in life, things ARE heading in the right direction if we're steering clear of P. Thanks for sharing.
Day 1
My self confidence is shattered I have no idea how I got here or how on earth will I ever heal
starting over with this quote hoping to make a clean streak and seeking an escape passage out of this P addiction jungle
“Our greatest glory is not in never falling to P temptations, but in rising up every time we fall and trying again to move on “
Day 1
My self confidence is shattered I have no idea how I got here or how on earth will I ever heal
starting over with this quote hoping to make a clean streak and seeking an escape passage out of this P addiction jungle
“Our greatest glory is not in never falling to P temptations, but in rising up every time we fall and trying again to move on “
Day 1
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Great quote, brother! Right now, the neural pathways are sensitized from being responded to (for or against). There's a thing I do that is very helpful, 'Practice the Pause'- this has helped me in the heat of the moment time and again.
An example: Say you're laying there with your phone in hand, and you know exactly what you're going to do. Just wait 5 minutes, what could it hurt? You know you're going to do it anyway, right? Go ahead and let yourself be distracted with a non-related post, say, on social media. Before you know it, that urge has passed, or it's not quite as strong. Try it next time, if you're inclined. Practice the pause.
An example: Say you're laying there with your phone in hand, and you know exactly what you're going to do. Just wait 5 minutes, what could it hurt? You know you're going to do it anyway, right? Go ahead and let yourself be distracted with a non-related post, say, on social media. Before you know it, that urge has passed, or it's not quite as strong. Try it next time, if you're inclined. Practice the pause.
searching4good
Active Member
Hey @GeminiMan - it's not easy right now but the fact you keep coming back here and checking in is more than something. It's the most important thing right now. Take it hour by hour, minute by minute if that's what it needs.
Things WILL click - do not give up hope. Celebrate each victory no matter how small and keep being kind to yourself. We'll beat this together. Here with you.
Things WILL click - do not give up hope. Celebrate each victory no matter how small and keep being kind to yourself. We'll beat this together. Here with you.
I’ll try this surely next time .pause and divert could be a great option which I have read about in Breaking the cycle book
I think I am lacking two things in this which is leading to my repeated downfalls to P:
1. Inability to divert myself in the heat of the moment.
2. Inability to watch and stop/pause/talk myself out from indulging in self seducing thoughts that make it look like why its just okay and justified and deserving to me to access P and then enjoy it till I relapse to painful days , regret , shame and self disgust
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
Yes, that's right, that's my keep the dopamine low thing that I've been trying to do. The mind needs something to focus on, you either focus on doing something else or you focus on the porn from your head. But I know that it can get very difficult when hard urges come. In those moments it's easier said than done. But it can be done. Another thing that could happen is that, in the beginning, waves of urges might come more often. A wave of urges does pass all the time if you wait, but the frequency of those waves that some addicts might get can make this very difficult, I know I have phases like that. I don't know, it's not always the same. I could have a streak and be bombarded by massive urges one after the other for hours, another time I could be in the middle of a streak but get urges less often. But I think very important is the thought process during urges. You can easily start justifying why a little porn would not be a bad idea. Or start thinking about the lightest thing you could do that will not break everything, and this is something characteristic of me, that's how I operate most of the time, I go to the "smallest thing" but I know it doesn't stop there. Basically doing the same fuckin thing over and over again expecting shit to change.
Relapsed again on day 1
Day 0
This mental fog around my head !
seems to be so numb within myself and almost zombie like being is how I feel .
Probably hitting the bottom of the bottom me now . Got to get better from here .
I apologize for wasting peoples time here .
I just have been self sabotaging over last week
I shouldn’t be !
Day 0
This mental fog around my head !
seems to be so numb within myself and almost zombie like being is how I feel .
Probably hitting the bottom of the bottom me now . Got to get better from here .
I apologize for wasting peoples time here .
I just have been self sabotaging over last week
I shouldn’t be !
searching4good
Active Member
Hey @GeminiMan - just a quick one to say that we are in very similar positions right now. It feels horrible doesn't it. Let's try and hold each other up again and use the slip as a building block. We can and will beat this.
You're not wasting anyone's time here, GM! You're here for you, and we're here for you! Be patient and understanding with yourself, any addiction isn't made over night, nor is it overcome in a day. It takes time. Just always get up, and keep trying.