I am introspecting and Observing on how is it that almost always I relapse due to not doing well on
#2 #3 #9 #10
Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
- Thread starter GeminiMan
- Start date
#2 #3 #9 #10
Blondie
Respected Member
I like your thinking here @GeminiMan, because it's the defining moment in our recoveries: getting down to the bottom of what makes us slip up in the first place. I've been extra careful the last few days because there's certain things in my life that have always made me slip that have been popping up my life the last few days, thus, I'm on red alert until further notified - stress mostly.
You seem to be on the right track.
Best to you brother.
You seem to be on the right track.
Best to you brother.
You’re right @Blondie
Stress makes me think that I need an escape from present situation and makes me seek comfort in chat rooms or P sites .
Which leads me to fall in trap #7 on my reboot foundations. below
Day 1
Relapsed yet again last night
Due to falling into trap #3 #9 and #10
my reboot foundations -
1. Avoid procrastination (leads to stress build up and seek comfort in P)
2. Avoid Overeating (this is a cue for me to relapse)
3. Avoid Hanging out with phone unnecessarily
4. engaging in interesting hobbies projects enough so that I don’t have time for other non sense such as P or chatrooms
5. Stop Thinking that I cannot stop or pull myself back when triggered by P thoughts .
6. engaging with wife in real life sex regularly with planned date nights regularly
7. Avoid Thinking wrongly that I need P to be happy and thriving .
8. follow a daily discipline schedule that works for me .planning my next day/week and adhering to it .
9. Avoid Not going to sleep early .lurking awake
10. Stop Thinking I am not responsible for small actions
Relapsed yet again last night
Due to falling into trap #3 #9 and #10
my reboot foundations -
1. Avoid procrastination (leads to stress build up and seek comfort in P)
2. Avoid Overeating (this is a cue for me to relapse)
3. Avoid Hanging out with phone unnecessarily
4. engaging in interesting hobbies projects enough so that I don’t have time for other non sense such as P or chatrooms
5. Stop Thinking that I cannot stop or pull myself back when triggered by P thoughts .
6. engaging with wife in real life sex regularly with planned date nights regularly
7. Avoid Thinking wrongly that I need P to be happy and thriving .
8. follow a daily discipline schedule that works for me .planning my next day/week and adhering to it .
9. Avoid Not going to sleep early .lurking awake
10. Stop Thinking I am not responsible for small actions
Blondie
Respected Member
Take care @GeminiMan.
Sometimes a break is not a bad thing. Love yourself first, before anything else.
Best to you brother
Sometimes a break is not a bad thing. Love yourself first, before anything else.
Best to you brother
Hello again to all my partners in reboot !
I am back on here after being away for a while . Not much changed in terms of my clean streaks while I was away . It has been status quo for P which continues to have a strong footprint in my day to day .
Although this break did give me some insights and clarity on some of the assumptions I had about myself and my abilities and my limits and clarity about my reboot approach options .
now I know a little better on what actually helps me develop a clean streak and what not .
Happy to be back In it .
Day 1
I am back on here after being away for a while . Not much changed in terms of my clean streaks while I was away . It has been status quo for P which continues to have a strong footprint in my day to day .
Although this break did give me some insights and clarity on some of the assumptions I had about myself and my abilities and my limits and clarity about my reboot approach options .
now I know a little better on what actually helps me develop a clean streak and what not .
Happy to be back In it .
Day 1
Day 2
I want to create a great deal of commitment from within my heart to reboot and create a sense of purpose in what and why I am doing this for .
I want to help myself fix my focus on the goal and feel like a mountaineer going on the Everest expedition. I always get thrilled by imagining myself achieving milestones . That adrenaline rush I feel when I reach the summit That is what I want to be the reward for undergoing whatever tough and hurtful experiences while staying away from P.
I want to hit 25 days . That’s a big win if I do it .
day 2 of my expedition. Here I go !
I want to create a great deal of commitment from within my heart to reboot and create a sense of purpose in what and why I am doing this for .
I want to help myself fix my focus on the goal and feel like a mountaineer going on the Everest expedition. I always get thrilled by imagining myself achieving milestones . That adrenaline rush I feel when I reach the summit That is what I want to be the reward for undergoing whatever tough and hurtful experiences while staying away from P.
I want to hit 25 days . That’s a big win if I do it .
day 2 of my expedition. Here I go !
It’s day 3
Thought about how celebrating each step is important in the journey . What fun is the expedition if you don’t take a look around and soak in the scenic natural beauty from time to time . How boring and full of pain it becomes not to enjoy each step on your way up .
so I am celebrating last 2 P free days because I deserve it . It made me feel better about myself . I am enjoying the reward here being on day 3 . It’s fun to be here .
let’s keep moving forward now !
Thought about how celebrating each step is important in the journey . What fun is the expedition if you don’t take a look around and soak in the scenic natural beauty from time to time . How boring and full of pain it becomes not to enjoy each step on your way up .
so I am celebrating last 2 P free days because I deserve it . It made me feel better about myself . I am enjoying the reward here being on day 3 . It’s fun to be here .
let’s keep moving forward now !
Day 4 been a scathes bath already but I still am holding my focus and want to get to day 5 and on
lots of chatroom logins today and P site logins and pull backs . It’s not how it is done surely I know but I am going to have to do some self talks here and tell myself this is not how it is done and course correct here to move on to steady state .
Day 4
lots of chatroom logins today and P site logins and pull backs . It’s not how it is done surely I know but I am going to have to do some self talks here and tell myself this is not how it is done and course correct here to move on to steady state .
Day 4
Day 1
I wanted to get steady again wanted to put back scathes behind and move on.
but I didn’t allow that to happen . I kept edging to relapse last night .
I turned out to be my own worst enemy .
I did so by not holding strong to my commitments and goal I had for myself
day 1
This time I have to make it to 25 days .
The only way I will make it is by
“Doing the opposite of what my P impulses whisper in my ears for 25 days “ and when it hurts doing self talks to convince how this is good for me in long run
here I go .day 1
I wanted to get steady again wanted to put back scathes behind and move on.
but I didn’t allow that to happen . I kept edging to relapse last night .
I turned out to be my own worst enemy .
I did so by not holding strong to my commitments and goal I had for myself
day 1
This time I have to make it to 25 days .
The only way I will make it is by
“Doing the opposite of what my P impulses whisper in my ears for 25 days “ and when it hurts doing self talks to convince how this is good for me in long run
here I go .day 1
Day 2
I had thoughts of my access patterns . 99% is via my personal cell phone . So is my cell phone my worst enemy . May be … can I break the intimacy I have with my cell phone ? Yes I can .
Will it help my reboot anyway? Sure it can ..
let’s do it . I have failed to decrease time spent on phone and I have failed to control my eating quantities and I have failed to hold my sexual impulses that make me go chat filthy .watch P , spend on cam sites , or go touch myself to O.
These are the guys I need to stop every single day to be successful in my life .
I had thoughts of my access patterns . 99% is via my personal cell phone . So is my cell phone my worst enemy . May be … can I break the intimacy I have with my cell phone ? Yes I can .
Will it help my reboot anyway? Sure it can ..
let’s do it . I have failed to decrease time spent on phone and I have failed to control my eating quantities and I have failed to hold my sexual impulses that make me go chat filthy .watch P , spend on cam sites , or go touch myself to O.
These are the guys I need to stop every single day to be successful in my life .
I did sign up with a therapist counselor to help me get over this P and chatroom habit I have been dealing with .
And I Hope it helps as I do this work with my therapist from now on .
I pray for success and happiness for all the people struggling in their lives because of P or P substitutes .
Happy holidays everyone .
I will be back to report sometime next year however goes my therapy one way or other .
-GeminiMan
And I Hope it helps as I do this work with my therapist from now on .
I pray for success and happiness for all the people struggling in their lives because of P or P substitutes .
Happy holidays everyone .
I will be back to report sometime next year however goes my therapy one way or other .
-GeminiMan