Very likely to have a weird combination of venous leakage with pied. (25)

Jeks

Well-Known Member
Learning is going alright i think. Still will probably have to learn until late. But thats not too bad, as long as i can keep my determination.

Trying to be aware of triggers is also a true gamechanger. It's much easier again to stay in control.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
I am quite mad at myself. I had so much time to prepare for the exam and instead i am now sitting here one day before and planning on not sleeping today, because its just too much to learn. So annoying...
Well in the end i can say its much better than worrying about the stuff, i have been worrying about the last months. But its still so unnecessary. Anyway, thats the situation now, i gotta take it as it is. If i am lucky i will get over the rest of the topics more quickly.
At least the avoidance of triggers continues to be helpful. Also because of me being forced to learn the last days, i noticed, that staying away from screen is really helpful for my overall mood in general. I will try to experiment more with that, when the exam is over.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
It was unnecessarily nerve-wrecking but i think there is a chance, that i have passed the exam.
Had today a bunch of triggers, which was annoying. I gave some of them a bit too much attention for my liking. It was nothing dramatic. But i gotta stay vigilant.
Now the next weeks will be a little more easy, but i really wanna use this time wisely to avoid a situation like in the last days.
 
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Jeks

Well-Known Member
The last days were the fist time in a long time, that i did not really have something to do, while feeling healthy enough to enjoy it. I did not really do anything producitve and it definitely feels weird, but at the the same time i know, that my body and mind can probably need a time out. But i wanna start getting productive again in the next days.
Had a nocturnal emission a few days back. It was about P and definitely had Youtube elements in it. I am not freaking out about it since i have started to effectively avoid triggers again, but when my mind continues to produce sex dreams like that, maybe i really need to start avoiding Youtube alltogether.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
I think i am done with being not productive. I gave my mind and body a well-deserved and needed time out. But i want to start working towards sonething again.
My problems caused by peyronies disease continue to get better. The amount of urine i can hold effortlessly gets bigger.
In terms of erections i dont notice any differents, but i now have nearly one month of hardmode under my belt.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
I am back again in a more active mode. I did some chores and worked on some other stuff. I am feeling pretty good at the moment. Health is not bothering me.
I continue to have strong sex dreams, most of them about Porn.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
Dont feel really good with myself right now, nor really bad. I am still struggling to really get active, sometimes my health is annoying me, erections dont get better.
I think, i will try to have a good start to the day by having a workout and then i see what i can do from there.
One good thing, while writing here i remembered, that i had a dream about P, but in the dream i was able to turn away and close my eyes and not looking at it.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
Good day, good progress. First day on which i can honestly say, i had no discomfort caused by Peyronies Disease.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
Slightly improved MW. I fell like it goes hand in hand with the decreased symptoms of Peyronies Disease. I think my body is not really ready for sex, when feeling uncomfotable down there, regardless of PIED.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
Urination problems got a bit worse again for some reason, but still nothing dramatic. On the other hand i made some progress with studying. I got the news, that I passed the exam, i have had a few weeks ago. In contrast to a few months ago i am a lot happier. I feel a lot of determination to make the last big push and to get my life on a good track.
 
D

Deleted member 17609

Guest
Urination problems got a bit worse again for some reason, but still nothing dramatic. On the other hand i made some progress with studying. I got the news, that I passed the exam, i have had a few weeks ago. In contrast to a few months ago i am a lot happier. I feel a lot of determination to make the last big push and to get my life on a good track.
Good job on the exam! Keep it up, you’ve got nice things ahead of you. Once you’re done with school and you find a job, you’ll find your life more interesting, no doubt about that. And when you date again, that will be fun too. Yeah, good things ahead of you, man.

I have been using daily Cialis for two weeks, and it works very well. I’m very satisfied with it, I can have sex regularly without having to plan it, it’s cool. You’re still using it every other day? It’s a very good medication to help a man start having sex again after a while.

I wanted to recommend a few books. I don’t know if you like to read, but I found great things in those books that helped me realize a few things about myself:

No More Mr.Nice Guy, by Robert A. Glover (similar ideas than in the book The Demise of Guys: Why Boys Are Struggling and What We Can Do about It, which is often discussed on this forum, but the one I recommend was written by a therapist, and is a self-help book, not a sociological work). According to that book, most of us are behaving like "nice guys", which isn’t a very good thing: because of the way we see life, we’re not leaving fully, and we’re afraid of many, many things. The books makes you realize things about you, and suggests ways to stop behaving like a nice guy. An amazing book.

You Are The Placebo - making your mind matter, by Joe Dispenza. A good book about the neurology of thinking. It shows you what happens in your brain when the same ideas are constantly on your mind, and it shows how to avoid blocking your potential with negative and repetitive thinking. Really interesting book.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
Thanks for stopping by bilbo
Yeah, good things ahead of you, man
I feel like this more and more myself. The last weeks were going better and better.
I can have sex regularly without having to plan it, it’s cool. You’re still using it every other day?
Yeah, i still use a small amount every second day in the evening to get a better blood supply during nocturnal erections. I think 5 mg would not be enough for sex, but i think it would be a wrong expectation. How much do you currently take?

Thanks for the book recommendations. I already got into self help quite a bit during the reboot and because of psychotherapy. Also i dont read much anymore besides for studying purposes and wanted to get back into the habit, so thanks for that.

Symptoms of Peyronies Disease are less again. I think drinking coffee was the reason it got worse. I have already exoerienced that nutrition can have an negatiive impact on that.

I made some good progress the last days with studying. I also have a sports routine going again.

I am now officially one month into hardmode.
 
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D

Deleted member 17609

Guest
Thanks for stopping by bilbo

I feel like this more and more myself. The last weeks were going better and better.

Yeah, i still use a small amount every second day in the evening to get a better blood supply during nocturnal erections. I think 5 mg would not be enough for sex, but i think it would be a wrong expectation. How much do you currently take?

Thanks for the book recommendations. I already got into self help quite a bit during the reboot and because of psychotherapy. Also i dont read much anymore besides for studying purposes and wanted to get back into the habit, so thanks for that.

Symptoms of Peyronies Disease are less again. I think drinking coffee was the reason it got worse. I have already exoerienced that nutrition can have an negatiive impact on that.

I made some good progress the last days with studying. I also have a sports routine going again.

I am now officially one month into hardmode.
Sounds good, man.

I’m on daily 5 mg now, and it’s enough for sex. But I still have to get accustomed to things working in the bedroom, there’s still some nervousness, anxiety, doubt, even if my junk works properly now. After many years of having ED in the bedroom, it’s understandable. But I think it’s important for us to work on that. Maybe there is a psychological component to our condition. Its tricky, because there’s no way to know. But in all cases, we should learn to stop worrying and go with the flow.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
I am struggling psychologically and emotionally. I was one week on vacation in my fathers country and after two days back i am already fucking stomped. I hate my family, i hate the struggles i am in, i hate that i have to fight against everyone and everything instead of just being able to live a fucking normal life. What is this?
I dont even feel like writing here anymore. Its just all so fucking pointless.
 

zander13

Well-Known Member
You okay?

I have some questions: do you get regular MW in the morning? Do you feel naturally attracted to females? Does semen leak when you go to the restroom?

If you do get MW, and you are naturally attracted, and there is no leakage, then the majority of your issues are outside of PMO. If not, then you should know that there is still a lot of room for things to naturally improve.

Trying not to give advice, but I think this is the first set of questions you should be asking yourself. Gabe Deem's success story lists all of the things that were remedied by the end of his journey. Nice way to gauge your PMO success.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
Thanks zander for you reply,
i am not really good, but i calmed down a bit.
To your questions: i do not get regular MW, if i do get it, its probably around 50% to 70%.
I feel attracted to girls.
I have no semen leak.
I really do not know anymore about, whether my ED and/or other problems are Porn-related or partly porn related, which makes it very frustrating. But to be totally honest, i dont feel even bothered that much anymore about my ED. What really bothers me is the other stuff and this feeling of being overwhelmed all the time. If at least a few things would get better or get normal, i think i could live with a lot of stuff not going so well. But just so many things going bad over such a long period of time are slowly burning me out.
I think the worst is really the urination problems and the uncomfortable feelings caused by Peyronies Disease. It effects my concentration, effects my ability to enjoy anything, effects how i am around people. This all would already cause a lot of people to feel down, but at the same time there are just too many things, that are not going my way, so that my whole life feels like a fight.
I think you can very much understand those feelings.
Yeah, i dont even know what to say anymore, i mean i repeat the same things over and over again for maybe a year now. It is just really depressing.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
I feel better at the moment. Tried out a new tea, which seems to have a positive impact on my ailments. Did a bit of sports today. Came in contact with a trigger on youtube today, which i did not immidiately clicked away.
I hope that i will continue to feel better the next days.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
I still feel better, chamomile tea really seems to help with the discomforts. If thats the case, life will already be much easier. That would also make it more realistic for me to be more outgoing, which is necessary to meet someone new. I was procrastinating like crazy the last days, watching youtube the whole day. I will try to make the most out of the rest of the day. Doing some sports, doing something for my studies and not spending so much time on youtube.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
Its definitely improving. Not only does it feel like me urethra has opened up more, but also my urine stream became bigger. Its so much more comfortable.
I dont think that the tea is the reason for that, but it at least appears to help, so i will continue drinking it.
I feel so empowered to now really work on my procrastination, which i really have got to get a hold on.
 
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Jeks

Well-Known Member
I am feeling definitely better, even though it did not really translate into me procrastinating less yet. But one thing thats obvious to me, is, that i pretty much exclusively use Youtube to procrastinate. So with the new energy i have gained from feeling more healthy, i will try to get rid of Youtube, at the very least over the course of the day, when i should be working on my stuff and my life. I just hope, that when i just drop all the negative habits, that make it difficult for me to be productive, that i will then just start working more consistently.
Over the last years i managed to drop P and also cigarettes, so i will just try to use the same strategies and mindsets, that i used to overcome those addictions. i am pretty optimistic that i can also overcome that one.
The last days i felt better from a health standpoint than i ever did in the last year. So that is a big step!

Had a dream about my crush, when i was in high school. We just kissed. Was a great dream really
 
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