Very likely to have a weird combination of venous leakage with pied. (25)

quitforeverthenwin2

Well-Known Member
Stay strong bro.

yes rewiring is crucial for the erections. I found it doesn't matter how long abstinent if porn ( though it's very good) gotta rewire and learn to get erections again.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
Thanks quit, yeah rewiring is definitely the way to go. Maybe i will cut the time until dating to three months, but i feel like i need a little bit of space after the relapses, in order to gain some confidence.
I managed to get through the first day after three days of relapsing. I had no urges though so far. Sometimes it takes up to around one week for me until the urges start after a relapse. Thats when i will truly see, if i am prepared for the backlash.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
That was close. I wont count it as a real relapse, since i was able stop myself after watching for a minute, but that was definitely too close. The thought: "I dont want to be addicted to P and want my erections back.", helped me to stop myself.
Whats a bit scary is, that there were no strong cravings beforehand, that would imply to me, that i gotta be careful now. It came totally out of the blue. Still i count it as a win.

Another close call, watched a bit, but was again able to stop myself. At least i am fighting now. This is not the long-term-solution, but the last days i would already be binging.
 
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Jeks

Well-Known Member
Got through yesterday, but did peek one more time. Under normal circumstances i would count yesterday as a clear relapse. But in comparison to the days before, i did much better, did not MO. So there are also improvements. I also feel like, i get back into the habbit of trying to cut out any fantasy, as soon as it starts to emerge with my rabbit hole technique.
In conclusion: what helped me, was to remind myself of why i am doing this (i want to get back my erections and dont want to be addicted to P, it is my only chance to be happy one day), grab something with my hands and dont letting go of it, being as strict and proactive as possible against fantasy and doing the same when encountering triggers.

I do have to finish a task today. I will try to get immidiately into that after i have finished that post.
 

96LostWanderer

Active Member
See if you can get through today without peeking. From personal experience I know it often leads back to relapse. Flashing some images before your eyes puts the memory of them in your brain and you want more.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
Thanks for the feedback, i do not intend to make peeking a new coping mechanism, its clearly still porn and no option. It just happened yesterday and i still wanted to focus on the progess, that i at least managed to close it again in a relatively short time period.
I will of course try to get tvrough the folloeing days wothout any P.

I finished my task and feel much better.

Was able to keep my mind very busy, no cravings so far today
 
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Jeks

Well-Known Member
So far another good day with close to no urges. My habbit of immidiately going for my rabbit hole technique when fantasies are emerging is going more smoothly now. Its really crucial to immidiately distract yourself with other thoughts. It has to work like a reflex.
 

k-fff

Active Member
I hope it isn’t so much a physical issue as just porn related and not having enough rewiring. I could easily see myself developing PIED if I wasn’t also getting sex. I think that part of the brain is sort of turned off at the moment. I could be wrong. Also, from my understanding of peyronies when I went to see the doc he basically said that people with ED issues related to it usually had incredibly bad injury with severe bruising. I hope I am right it isn’t as much of a physical issue. If it is anyway, being a slave to p is not the way to live your life. Sorry, I haven’t been on here. Needed to get my own head in order.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
Thanks man, no worries, good that you found back ob track for a bit. I hope so too man, i am gonna rewire, then we will see, what happens.

I got through the day without pretty much any fantasizing, distracting myself as soon as a glimpse of flashbacks occured. Day is not over yet, but i am a lot more confident now again.
 

quitforeverthenwin2

Well-Known Member
Keep going strong man. As much as this sucks I think the lapse may have been a part of your recovery.

I didn't want to impose but reading your story it always sounded to me like the vast majority of your issues were porn related and not the physical problem. Doctors don't understand PIED so they will find something to diagnose us with. I am not saying your bladder problems aren't real BUT I will say the majority of the symptoms you describe I too experienced and I know for sure they were due to porn.

So now you have first hand seen for sure that things are sooo much worse with porn.

I like the way SMART does things - when you have a lapse your time free from porn is not lost you still have it. You can get back to where you were much faster. Stuff like being free of porn for 13.5 of the last 14 months is massively good!
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
Thanks man for taking time andleaving your thoughts.
As much as this sucks I think the lapse may have been a part of your recovery
I think so too. Some habbits i had developed over time just got weaker, because abstaining from P just wasnt much of a topic anymore. Especially after the relapses i noticed again, how important it is for me to avoid fantasizing. For ne a relapse always starts with an idea or a fantasy and the longer i let myself engage in it, the more difficult it becomes to say no to it.
I am not saying your bladder problems aren't real BUT I will say the majority of the symptoms you describe I too experienced and I know for sure they were due to porn
Its difficult to say. I dont really know what typeof urination problems you had. I also encoubtered minor problems before it got worse and thought they were due to P.
Fact is, that also people with Peyronies Disease develop this symptom. Also the diagnosis of Peyronies Disease seems valid and is not a difficult one to make.
Another thought i had is, that maybe a few Porn addicts also develop Peyronuies Disease due to rough masturbation habits. I already found some, who also were diagnosed with peyronies Disease. But its only a suspicion of mine.
For now i think the bladder problems caused by Peyronies Disease are the most plausible explanation, but for ED i am not so sure. I tend to think, its mostly due to P.

I am now 4 days without any P again, which is a first good start, though i gotta be careful. After one week the urges tend to be the worst for me.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
I feel good and hopeful. No strong cravings or fantasies. 6 days without P. But often after one week the strongest urges started, so i gotta be prepared.

60-70 % mornibg erection today, better than with P or M.
 
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Jeks

Well-Known Member
Relapse, dumb trigger on Youtube and went deeper and deeper. I had enough opportunities to stop... Im still in this every week cycle and its so difficult to get out of it. Its so fucking stupid... Anyway, i have to and will find a way out of this. I was able to get away from P once, i can do it again.

Its my only chance to get my erections back one day. Even if it should be only physiological, which is extremely unlikely, i have to make sure, that i dont get PIED on top of it. It is my only chance to get back my erections with certainty.

While relapsing i had for a minute or so a relatively good erection, maybe 70 percent.
 
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Jeks

Well-Known Member
Got through the day. Stronger urges in the morning, close to non in the evening. I want to get my erections back and giving up P is the only way to make sure, that this will happen.

Had some stronger morning erections today, maybe 70 percent.
 
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Jeks

Well-Known Member
Maybe 80 percent morning erection. I dont know, why it sometimes seems, that i get better morning erections after a relapse. Maybe i just got some libido back after being sexuak active again. But whats also true is, that i dont get the same kind of erections with P as i did for example today in the morning.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
Relapse, i think i will keep away from the forum for a bit. I want to get my head straight before writing here again. Also the first time i managed to stay away from P i did no participate in the forum.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
Just wanna document here, that i had a fairly strong nocturnal erection (maybe 85%). I would never get erections like this with P, it was really faar better erection quality. My body is able to produce better erections.
Since last time i did not relapse.
 
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