Very likely to have a weird combination of venous leakage with pied. (25)

quitforeverthenwin2

Well-Known Member
Man that is awesome bro! It'll be great once the problem is solved. I guess many good things take longer then we'd think but once you are there it doesn't matter and it just feels good
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
Thanks quit, yeah man, this last year was fucking insane, thats when the whole urination problem started. And it just added up to the whole other insanity, with having PIED and then before that the break up with my ex, and before that the surgery because of Venous Leakage, which in hinsight might have been caused by Peyronies Disease / Induratio Penis Plastica.
All in all i am really just fed up with all this topic of ED. I experienced, how it feels, when you can truly not function anymore, because of physiological suffering as well as psychological. At the worst times i couldnt sleep longer than two hours at a time, because my urethra would just burn like someone lit it on fire, because of the IPP. For months I had to pee up to 25 times a day, while not being able to find a cause for the problem, because its not well known, that Peyronies Disease can cause Urination problems and my deformations are not very noticeable.
So again, i right now really don't care anymore about my ED. When all the exams are done, i will just go dating. I will just explain, that i was going through this and that, and that i eventually dont really know what the cause of my ED is. I will try with and without ED pills and i will just see what happens and have a good time going out, sitting on the beach and playing cards and stuff. While doing all this, i of course will continue to stay away from P. Because my ED might really be caused by a mixture of all this shit, just waiting for it to get magically healed wont cut it anymore. And i just crave to enjoy life.
I want to finish my studies, get out of my parents house, get a job and enjoy life. Just not worrying about all this shit. I want to get out with the few friends i have, want to get into relationships and just do something.

Yesterday was a little underwhelming in terms of learning, but i think today will go better.

Thank you all for the support. I truly dont know, where i would be right now without this outlet and without people, which are going through similar things and can relate.

Edit: so far studying goes better.
 
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D

Deleted member 17609

Guest
Thanks quit, yeah man, this last year was fucking insane, thats when the whole urination problem started. And it just added up to the whole other insanity, with having PIED and then before that the break up with my ex, and before that the surgery because of Venous Leakage, which in hinsight might have been caused by Peyronies Disease / Induratio Penis Plastica.
All in all i am really just fed up with all this topic of ED. I experienced, how it feels, when you can truly not function anymore, because of physiological suffering as well as psychological. At the worst times i couldnt sleep longer than two hours at a time, because my urethra would just burn like someone lit it on fire, because of the IPP. For months I had to pee up to 25 times a day, while not being able to find a cause for the problem, because its not well known, that Peyronies Disease can cause Urination problems and my deformations are not very noticeable.
So again, i right now really don't care anymore about my ED. When all the exams are done, i will just go dating. I will just explain, that i was going through this and that, and that i eventually dont really know what the cause of my ED is. I will try with and without ED pills and i will just see what happens and have a good time going out, sitting on the beach and playing cards and stuff. While doing all this, i of course will continue to stay away from P. Because my ED might really be caused by a mixture of all this shit, just waiting for it to get magically healed wont cut it anymore. And i just crave to enjoy life.
I want to finish my studies, get out of my parents house, get a job and enjoy life. Just not worrying about all this shit. I want to get out with the few friends i have, want to get into relationships and just do something.

Yesterday was a little underwhelming in terms of learning, but i think today will go better.

Thank you all for the support. I truly dont know, where i would be right now without this outlet and without people, which are going through similar things and can relate.

Edit: so far studying goes better.
Sounds good, man. I haven’t been through all the things you have to face, but I feel you. The thing is, even when we have a condition that has big impacts on our lives, and somehow feel it’s unfair and that it ain’t worth living in these conditions, it ain’t true. No matter what challenges we are facing, we can try our best to improve ourselves and our lives, and to minimize the impact of the bad things that happen to us, like ED or IPP. There’s always things we can improve, as long as we believe in ourselves or at least have the desire to enjoy life as much as we can.

A quick word regarding ED pills. In the NoFap world, many guys are against them, or use them very, very sparingly. I understand some of their reasons, but most of the time I don’t agree with them. ED pills allowed me to finally have good sex, after years of failure. I really hope I won’t need them anymore one day, but in the meantime, there’s no good reason not to use them. In my opinion, the same goes for you, especially since there might be an organic cause to your ED. In your case, I can’t think of any good reason to avoid using ED pills. Originally, these pills were made for guys who have organic issues that affect their erections, but they also help guys who have psychogenic ED and/or porn-induced ED. So, YES, try them, and try them for real. Just don’t take more than the maximum dose; also, try to get them from the drugstore and not from a drug dealer, it’s much safer.

When I tell you to try them for real, what I mean is, try Viagra, and try Cialis, and see which one works the best. And try them more than once, especially if you’re meeting new girls, because there can be many factors at play in those situations. You may have sex with a girl you’re not really attracted to, or you may be particularly stressed, or there might be other circumstances that affect you… Try different doses too: try the maximum dose, it won’t kill you, man, not if your doctor knows about your health and gave you a prescription. Right now you’re taking 5mg every two days: it might not be enough to have decent erections when you start seeing girls again. If that happens, try 5mg daily. You can also try 20mg on demand, which is still the best way to have a good erection with Cialis. With Viagra, try 100mg! After time, decrease the dose if you realize you don’t need the maximum dose anymore. That’s what I did: I used 100mg for years, and after 6 months of rebooting, I successfully reduced the dose to 50mg, and I’m very happy with that.

I’m writing this because I think you need and deserve to have some fun, man. Using ED pills is not cheating, it’s not dangerous if done correctly, and I don’t even think it can hinder your progress. So many guys used them and rebooted successfully… You said you’re going to try to have sex with and without them, and that’s okay. But I’m absolutely certain that your erections will be better with ED pills. Then it will be up to you to decide if you’re okay with using them. But I strongly recommend you use them, and find the one that works well for you, and the good dose too. It’s not an ethic question, it’s a health issue. There’s nothing wrong in getting medical help to problems like that, especially, as I already said, since there’s probably an organic component to your ED.

You’re nailing it, man. Keep it up.

ps: here’s a recent success story from a guy who used Taladafil during his reboot and eventually stopped using it. Read it, it’s very, very inspiring.

https://yourbrainrebalanced.com/for...d-recovered-–-2-years-clean-pied-gone.118156/
 
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Jeks

Well-Known Member
Man, thanks for your thoughtful answer.

Yeah i am fully with you on that. I think i will have a Skit-Test after my therapy is finished to see, if there are any hints to my ED being physiological or psychological/porn-induced. Based on that and my overall situation i will make a plan on how to approach rewiring/dating.
When i am saying, i will try with and without ED pills, what i mean is: i am gonna experiment, as you said.
Its no morale question for me. At first i just thought, that it would hinder my progress, but after 2 years of being away from P (one minor slip up), i don't think it matters much anymore.
One thing is for sure: the 5 mg tadalafil will not be enough, at least not for a solid and reliable erection. Maybe with a woman it might be different, but as you said, there are gonna be many factors, that play into that.
So pretty much as you said: i will experiment with cialis and viagra as well as with the amount.

I’m writing this because I think you need and deserve to have some fun, man.
hahah yeah man, i think you are so right. Life was just brutal the last months.
ps: here’s a recent success story from a guy who used Taladafil during his reboot and eventually stopped using it. Read it, it’s very, very inspiring.

https://yourbrainrebalanced.com/for...d-recovered-–-2-years-clean-pied-gone.118156/

Very interesting and encouraging story. Also the part about depression speaks to me.

Thanks Bilbo!

For today: results were mixed the last days. It is key, that i will make some progress today with studying. Its now just one week before the important exam. But i feel encouraged by yesterday.
I found a very interesting medthod yesterday, that worksed for me. It sounds a little odd, but when i am procrastinating like crazy, i work, but as slow as it is endurable for me. Even if i just move a milimeter per second, i keep on moving and "working". Whats interesting is, that after a while i get so bored and impatient, that i automatically start moving faster, so that i found myself working very chill and in a way that my mind is not resisting a lot.

Edit: i am exhausted, but i did make sopme progress today. It should be possible to get everything done, when my physiological problems are manageable as today.
 
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Jeks

Well-Known Member
I don't feel so good today, but i don't really know why. Yeah my life is not so hot right now, but that was also the case yesterday. All in all i feel like i am making some solid progress. Maybe its just a mood thing, i dont know, i dont wanna overthink it.
I will focus on the stuff i have to do. Maybe it will get better by itself over the course of the day.

I may try to stop drinking coffee. When supplements have a negative effect on my urethra, maybe coffee does as well.

Went relatively good today. Gave it my all. Abstaining from coffee is a good idea it seems.
 
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Jeks

Well-Known Member
Youtube is a mine field. Nothing did happen, but i stumbled over stuff. Gotta be more careful or stop using youtube altogether.
Study wise day was okay, i am just exhausted. But after the exams there will be a bit room to rest.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
I am so relieved, that at least my urination problem isn't too much of a problem anymore. I can work and study and that was the most important goal for now. If i do not totally suffer and feel miserable allday everyday, i can endure more years of searching and figuring out stuff ED-wise, work-wise and life-wise. My life doesn't need to be perfect, but i dont want to suffer over long periods of times without having any prospecrts, that it will get better one day.
 
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Jeks

Well-Known Member
Another day , where my urination problem seems improved. I think i can be carefully optimistic now, that the worst is truly over. That's said, i now have no excuses anymore regarding my procrastination, because i am not living in that hell anymore, i have been living the last couple months. Because of the exam on Monday i dont have the time to take a few days to just fully enjoy the recovery. I first gotta get that obligations out of the way, then i can take some time off to fully recuperate from the last months and year.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
I am totally exhausted, but happy. I did a great job on conquering my procrastination and made very good progress on the stuff i have to do.
The physical problems still exist, but they are not bugging me as much as they used to.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
I should be pretty well prepared for the exams and the presentation tomorrow. Compared with a couple weeks ago i am doing better and better.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
I am pretty sure, that i have past the exam. Just a few more to go, but the pace wont be that crazy anymore. I am feeling pretty good right now. IPP doesnt bother me too much. Had a nocturnal emission without a dream. I guess, thats good.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
Feeling good. IPP sucks, but i can live with it. ED-wise i gotta see, what the future brings. But i see it like this: Either my ED is caused by Peyronies DIsease, then i gotta wait and see, whether the next months bring any improvements. If not, i still have the option of repeating the shockwave therapy.
Or the ED comes from my P addiction. Then its all about continueing to stay away from P and rewiring.
If its a mixture of both, same things apply. In the end i should be able to somehow have a sex life in the future.
Next big project now is to get my degree. I gotta get independent. This will be the next big step to not only feel better, but to actually feel good about my life.
Also with my health not sucking as much anymore, i will work on getting a sport routine going and i will also try to enjoy life more in general. Meeting with friends, finding and doing things i like and so on.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
I am so thankful, that i feel so good. Its not even, that i have no problems at all from the disease, but at least i can function without too much effort. I can study, i can go out, i can focus on stuff, i can play piano, i can read a book, i can do sports. Yeah i still have ED, but i am a 100 % certain, that if my health stays like this, i will be able to somehow have a sex life, either with ED pills or without, it doesnt even matter to me anymore.
I am now 2 years without P with a single little relapse and had some streaks of no M at that time. I will continue to go this route for the rest of my life and if PIED indeed is the problem i should heal one day. If its something else, then these are the cards i have been dealt.
I will now try to have build a longer streak of hardmode, while taking cialis, so my penis gets enough blood supply to heal from Peyronies disease and while doing all this, i will meet some girls and just see, how things go.
The most important change for me right now is, that i want to live again, and i just want to do stuff, and i again have my ability to feel good.
Next friday i will have another big exam, but i have enough time to study. So that should go alright.
 
D

Deleted member 17609

Guest
I am so thankful, that i feel so good. Its not even, that i have no problems at all from the disease, but at least i can function without too much effort. I can study, i can go out, i can focus on stuff, i can play piano, i can read a book, i can do sports. Yeah i still have ED, but i am a 100 % certain, that if my health stays like this, i will be able to somehow have a sex life, either with ED pills or without, it doesnt even matter to me anymore.
I am now 2 years without P with a single little relapse and had some streaks of no M at that time. I will continue to go this route for the rest of my life and if PIED indeed is the problem i should heal one day. If its something else, then these are the cards i have been dealt.
I will now try to have build a longer streak of hardmode, while taking cialis, so my penis gets enough blood supply to heal from Peyronies disease and while doing all this, i will meet some girls and just see, how things go.
The most important change for me right now is, that i want to live again, and i just want to do stuff, and i again have my ability to feel good.
Next friday i will have another big exam, but i have enough time to study. So that should go alright.
Wow, that’s great! A really positive and inspiring post. Congratulations on two years, Jeks!

It all sounds good to me. Go out, meet some people, and take care of yourself. Things can only get better!
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
Thanks bilbo, it's good to have you around.

I continue to feel better, i also get some alright nocturnal erections, which is nice.
My progress with studying is dragging a bit, but i will try my best to get that improved.
YT related stuff still tend to be a problem. I am not really watching stuff or masturbate to somethign, but i sometimes feel this "curiosity" come up, which is i guess a trigger hiding as innocent. I gotta watch out with that and gotta be really strict with myself. I cant give myself any chance to relapse.

Edit: Stumbled over a big trigger and holy shit, is it difficult to get it out of my mind. I think it will vanish after some time with my rabbit hole technique, but man, its difficult to focus on something else. Writing here got my mind a little away from it. I don't have the picture so clearly in front of me anymore.
 
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Jeks

Well-Known Member
I did not do well the last days with studying and because of that, i am upset with myself. I had so much time to prepare for the exam and now i have made it again difficult for myself. I still have some days for this, but i better get going, because i really dont wanna prolong my studies. I want to get over with it.
Now that i don't suffer every single day anymore, my new goal has to be to feel good with my life. And i won't feel good with myself, when i am always procrastinating on stuff. Its like with P. There has to come one day, when i say to myself, enough is enough. I cant continue to play this game anymore. I cant listen to this voice, that tells me, just to do it one last time. When i start doing that, this will go on forever. It makes me feel miserable and i dont want that. I wanna feel good in my life and i did not come this far to fuck it all up close to the finish line.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
I gotta be generally more careful. I think, what i have really got to bring back to my attention is the concept of triggers. Its something, that with all the months just got into the background without me really noticing it.
It doesnt matter if its Youtube or not or wherever or whatever i am seeing or of its just srolling in anticipation. If it triggers the smallest amount of sexual arousal, sexual excotment or urge in me through artificial, not real life stimulaton it s bad. Nothing blurry, nothing unclear about it. Its just that easy. I have got to avoid ALL KINDS of triggers. I probably have butchered my progress the last couple of weeks by starting to be loosy with myself in that regard. It just unknowingly started to shift gradually. Not by really searching actively P, but through not actively avoiding it and playing with the kind of suddle arousal and curiosity that comes with that. And also by allowing myself to blurry the lines, whats okay and whats not. But i hope, that now i am able to stop the bleeding before something really bad happens.
I have got to avoid ALL FUKING TRIGGERS!

In terms of Procrastinating and studying i also got to get serious now with myself. I know, that the last months and years were not easy, but i am fucking 27 years old, live with my parents, have no job, have no money, i am not in shape, i have nearly no friends, i have no gf and no real shot of getting one in the near future, i have ED, i am sluggish and without energy and have health problems. I know, the last year was not easy, but now that i am feeling better, i have really gotta ask myself, do i want continue to live like this or do i want to turn my life around. Maybe its not totally my fault, that i am, where i am at, but i am the only one, who can turn this around.
 
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Jeks

Well-Known Member
I wrote the last post at night. Now its morning and i feel much better. Trigger aviodance really was something that i should have paid more attention to the last weeks. I am definitely feel much more in control now.
I also feel refreshed. In bed i still couldnt sleep and thought more about my life in general and i think confronting me with this "red pill or blue pill"- mindset really got me thinking.
There are still some things i wanna do in life and even though my youth and early adulthood was in many aspects a complete disaster, i am still here. I am not dead. And i could have been dead by now considering how bad the last year was. And now that i have made it out if the worst i still have the chance to turn things around. I will make this chance count.
 
D

Deleted member 17609

Guest
Hey man, you seem to be going through hard times. You and I have something in common: we have high standards, we are able to say things as they really are, etc. This is a blessing and a curse at the same time. We tend to be too severe with ourselves and our lives, and to be chronically unsatisfied. I understand that you’re not happy about your situation, and of course you should improve yourself and your life, get a job, your own place, etc. But don’t think you’re a failure because you don’t have these things yet. Some people have a linear path, they find right away what they like, who they are, etc. We’re not one of these people, but who cares? The purpose of life is to discover what we want, who we are, and to start doing that at 27 is an amazing opportunity! Most people live their whole lives without ever asking themselves those questions.

Be proud of yourself, man. You’re studying, you’re staying away from porn, you’re improving in many areas of your life despite difficulties. I’m 33, and I finally got a job I like for the first time of my life last year, when I was 32. There’s no shame in that. You and I just needed a little more time to get started, that’s all.

Keep it up, man!
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
Thanks bilbo, i appreciate your thoughts.

You are probably right, i am often very harsh to myself, but i just get so mad at me, when i procrastinate and at the same time i a am unsatisfied with my life. That doesnt add up. All in all i would say i dont really care, when i get progress in my life. But what i can not stand is this inactivity i sometimes have.
I worked hard today, so i am not so angry right now, but in those moments i often feel like i have to kick myself in the butt, especially when an exam is coming up.

Actually the far more important news is, that my focus on avoiding triggers helps a lot. That's what i was even more worried about, because slowly but surely i got to things on the internet, which were concerning.

But yeah Bilbo, you are probably right, i should try to be a little more chill with myself.
 
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