Its like with every other addiction. It will get easier, but it will take time. When you say the urges dont change, it sounds like they are also dont get worse a lot of times. Thats when the grindy part comes in, which will be exhausting. But when you managed to get one month, you can get another month in, practically speaking. You have got the capability to do so.
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First time posting here. Want to get rid of this. I heard support helps.
- Thread starter k-fff
- Start date
Well sorry to disappoint. I think I have count today as a relapse of some kind. I don't know where to classify this, but it resulted because my SO basically loves sexting and it got so hyped up. I felt my head feel almost like it does when edging so I just finished as quickly as I could. Me and the girl see each other as much as we can and sex has been great for the most part, but I am worried about this. She likes it, but I am worried about my brain using it as a replacement habit for p. Right now, I don't feel too bad, but I wouldn't say great either. This isn't something I really want to continue doing just so I don't risk damaging my brain more. I am not sure how to deal with this. The best I can think of is giving sexting when there is a guaranteed meetup because i really don't want to masturbate anymore. This has never been an issue before, but now it is.
No chaser effect at the moment, still don’t feel good about yesterday. I want to heal my brain. It wasn’t like there were pictures involved, but it is artificial stimulus all the same and I know some men have problems with this. At the moment, I am a bit paranoid about the possible chaser effect.
I don’t know how much I want to continue this current “relationship” I don’t know even think it can be really called that with the circumstances. This sort of thing that is currently happening doesn’t last. I am just so tired and I really don’t think I will ever trust her. I think one of things I used porn to cope with is my trust issues. I do not trust people and that especially goes for women. Maybe, it’s I pick up on all these little cues and ticks when someone is lying and I am rarely wrong. It is something I have had to wrestle with my whole life and there is often no point in making accusations so I let much of it go, but when it comes to relationships, I catch them lying and it kills the trust and by catch I literally have proof. Maybe, it is the type of woman I am attracted to I do not know. Right now though, I just want a normal heathy relationship and I definitely don’t have that right now. If I can’t have that, I would rather be alone. I am tired of feeling this creeping anxiety. In a lot of ways, I just want a normal life.
Oh yea, it is gonna be there soon. It always isBeing tired is also not fun, but i find it always better than being plagued by crazy cravings. I also sometimes had to M just to keep my streak going. But you gotta prepare yourself for the chaser effect. It will probably come.
Had a nap. I had an urge not very strong. Ended up reading a story about a porn addict. It didn’t have a good ending. Very much apathetic to the current streak. I know I can get urges just as bad as if I am in three days in and I haven’t even hit the flatline yet. Which is probably gonna be after the 90 days because edging fries your brain. Sigh. I just fundamentally don’t want to want this
Tired. I didn’t sleep well. I have been thinking about what I hate most about p addiction and easily, it’s the fact that it has robbed me of countless hours of my life. What is worse about it, is those hours were spent numbing and destroying the part of my brain that is gonna take enjoyment from normal and healthy things in my life. P steals your time and kills your ability to form healthy relationships. Honestly, if anybody thinks that getting men addicted this stuff isn’t intentional at this point is living with their head in the sand.
No urges lately. But pretty meh overall. Libido is quite low, but whatever. It’s day 36 , but it honestly feels like it is the first week. It amazes me people can tell any difference just after 30 days. The main difference is just I am not wasting away causing stress headaches from edging for hours. I mean that’s what happens so my life is different in that way, but general feelings and other stuff. I don’t feel much of a change
Thanks JeksGood job k-fff. It looks like you are on a good way. Yeah, it just differs very much from person to person. It will take its time, but it will be worth it in the end for sure.
wanted to post again now because I just had a big scare with that girl and my brain screamed at me to cope with pmo to it. It is bizarre because that wouldn’t have helped the situation at all. But it really freaked me out and just goes to really show unfortunately a major trigger for me is emotional avoidance. Ugh
Yea, I am just trying to endure the emotion normally instead of using pmo to numb it.For me its the same man, keep at it, try to endure or accept the feeling. It will get easier with time. The addiciton increases and exagerates the emotional pain to make you get your fix.
And now I am having a really bad chaser effect. I had sex several days in a row and that staved it off, but now, it’s hitting me like a ton of bricks. It’s weird what I want to watch something. Just p in general is an odd habit. Don’t feel good at the moment had fantasy of previous videos I watched. I don’t know what I am getting out of it. What did I get out of all those hours
Don’t have a libido, tired, generally just feel like dogshit. I don’t really consider this a “flatline”. I think a lot of people use that word too quickly. Truth be told I don’t feel much different from when I am using. The biggest benefit is not spending the hours edging my life away so it’s different in that way. I am more productive as a result. Urges are pretty much at the same strength; there is just some distance now. I will happy when I basically have nonexistent urges and I no longer think about p.