First time posting here. Want to get rid of this. I heard support helps.

k-fff

Well-Known Member
Forgot to mention, I am happy that I am not using. Like I said the biggest benefit now is that I have my time back.
 

k-fff

Well-Known Member
Had an O from a few hours ago from bj, but now I'm getting a chaser and I want to look at p. I literally came today why do I want to look at p.
 

k-fff

Well-Known Member
I am having a lot of urges again today. I just want to open up a site and search my fetish. My brain is screaming at me for the dopamine. It’s funny because I am not horny. My brain just keeps screaming for dopamine. This chaser is extremely rough.
 

k-fff

Well-Known Member
Today is technically 40 days its 12 here. Even though, I have been having bad urges I am glad I am continuing to be not using p. I realized something is that I would rather have the urges for p rather than to be actively using p. I've come very close to relapsing several times during this "streak" I am really happy I didn't. I will take urges over using the thing again any day, I just wish I would remember this when I would have these awful urges.
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
Try to remind yourself of that, when it gets difficult and also always keep in mind: the urges will pass!
 

k-fff

Well-Known Member
Having urges again and flashes of two particular videos in my brain. I am not horny, but everything is feeling like a trigger. My brain just wants that dopamine. I wonder when this gonna let up.
 

k-fff

Well-Known Member
I MO’ed last night. I did it because I was catching myself thinking way too much about previous p videos. Morning after though, I wish I didn’t because it doesn’t seem to have helped at all with my sleep which always the motive to MO.
 

k-fff

Well-Known Member
One of the nicest things that happened on one of my 30 day streaks. I just forgot a lot of p. It is nice when those images fade away and the names of pornstars are gone. I really look forward to that.
 

k-fff

Well-Known Member
Woke up and no urges. A bit tired, I’m mostly waiting for the big cravings to start coming. I don’t know I really don’t feel much differently physically. Sex is good, but it is like moving from a 6 to a 10. I more care about the blunting of my emotions and unfortunately I can’t really tell what is going on there. I just now I basically don’t feel anything when using p
 

k-fff

Well-Known Member
Not much to comment on, happy I am not using. Like I have said physically I don’t feel much difference. Emotionally there probably is, but outside of that I can’t tell.
 

k-fff

Well-Known Member
I had an O yesterday and maybe, that is the reason why I had a strong urge just now. I attempted to urge surf through it. I want to practice that as much as possible whenever I get urges. Dealing with cravings and urges needs to become second nature if I am gonna put this crap behind me. I hope to get better at it. I am gonna kick box today and practice piano. I need to get out of the apartment and be more productive otherwise I am gonna keep getting slapped with urges.
 

k-fff

Well-Known Member
At this point, I am orgasming too much. I MO’ed twice last night and had an O today. I really need to cut out MO. I am always doing it at night when I can’t fall asleep. That is pretty much the only trigger.
 

k-fff

Well-Known Member
If I have long term goals with this, it is to get good at dealing with urges. This is my number one priority. Then no bingeing or edging. Edging ruined my emotional range and I am still incredibly more numb than I was. I am happy I am not looking at p. Even though last night, I really wanted to. I plan to cut MO as much as possible. I always have more energy when I am not O'ing every three days.
 

k-fff

Well-Known Member
Really tired today. Non existent urges. I don’t want to think about p. I hate that it is always on my mind if I am really gonna be done with it. I don’t want to count days but I know exactly where I’m at. It will be day 91 on bday. I hope I can forget most of this crap by that time
 

Jeks

Well-Known Member
I think there is a good chance, that a lot might be forgotten by then. In my experience a lot of scenes dont feel as energetic anymore even if you still remember them. The fantasy-urges connection gets weaker.
 
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