I agree with the both of you. I guess at the moment, I just want to have no ability to use until I can start forming an effective habit of urge surfing because right now. I keep on drowning after a month.
First time posting here. Want to get rid of this. I heard support helps.
- Thread starter k-fff
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96LostWanderer
Active Member
To offer an alternative view, I believe porn blockers are a good thing when you're having some major urges and trying to stop relapses. I have a blocker called SelfControl on my laptop and I've stopped a few relapses in their tracks just by starting the timer up to block websites I'm tempted to visit. SelfControl is for MacBooks but I believe there are similar blockers for PCs.
Later down the line you can remove the blockers if you feel confident and the urges have died down. But I think they're helpful when the urges are high. Why not make quitting as easy as possible?
Later down the line you can remove the blockers if you feel confident and the urges have died down. But I think they're helpful when the urges are high. Why not make quitting as easy as possible?
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
I understand very well how this goes. What I've realized is that a relapse many times, at least in my case, starts in the mind long before it actually happens. I "prepare" myself for the relapse thinking about the pleasure and trying to rationalize why a tiny relapse would not be a bad idea. And then when the urges get to 10/10, I have a hard time getting out of there because I have already crossed the line. In my opinion, the Easy Peasy method should be the first step, because without the de-brainwashing that it's actually the whole point of the book, we won't make it, maybe only through massive willpower and pushing ourselves through it but I don't know many people who can do that. I can't. What I think we need to do is reprogram our minds to see porn as "not an option, something we don't need for anything in our lives, not for pleasure, not for medication."
Yea, I read that too. I will end up doubting the decision a month in and sort of moping for it. It's important to remind yourself you're happy you aren't using and why you aren't. I find that has helped me lately. Because what happens at least for myself is I just start to think about how "hot" x girl is or x scene is and when I remind myself of what I would actually be doing I realize that i am much happier not doing that. My brain tricks me into feeling like I am participating instead of actually just being a voyeur with my dick in my hand. So far that has helped me just remembering I actually feel much better when i am not using.
Yea, this is my motivation for using them. I really need help at this point. I tried 5 years on my own and it just didn't cut it. I need the option to get taken away from me until I can get out of autopilot and form the internal ability to deal with urges.
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
Rebooting can be a roller coaster because the brain is affected. But time will fix this and your brain will get balanced. Just give it time and don't think about porn. Have patience.
today i searched for p. The searches are a problem in themselves. the blockers did their job and i didn't click on anything, but that initial decision is what needs to be addressed the most. Anyway, this is the whole reason to have the blockers in place is so when I fail that I have something to prevent a relapse. The goal right now is to develop a habit of dealing with initial urges, but while I am doing this I would much rather have full blown relapses be prevented. I am not necessarily worried about days or anything like that. I just need to time to get a handle on this.
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
Good job with the blockers, they work for you. Anything that works for you, man. This rebooting process is personal for each one of us and we need to treat it like "Whatever works for me." I've messed around with some parental control before but it didn't help me, I worked my way around it immediately. That's because, just like you said and this is very important, my mentality was not right, I was set on watching porn at all costs. This needs to be addressed first: The impulse that starts in the mind. This porn addiction is mental thing, it's in the mind, this is where everything starts, it's the brainwashing of porn that enters very deep in the subconsious. We have a "problem" in the head, not below the belt. Good luck.
I am on autopilot when I get triggered. Its awful. I just want to leave this behind. Oh, well another setback. Thing I learned from this is on days where i should work out and I don't i get hungry for dopamine. Also, just being bored on youtube or twitch makes me want to use. I should get up and do something next time.
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
Doing something could help. It has helped me during the current streak. A few days ago I was a little drunk and I got this massive urge to relapse but I was in the middle of doing something and that disrupted the moment.
This is called mindlessness or habit-land. This is opposite of mindfulness, being fully present in the moment.
In those moments, between cue and response, take a few deep breaths, maybe tap your arm with your finger, just to ground yourself.
Sounds pretty simple, right? That's all it takes to snap out of it, and the urges will pass on their own.
i will try it next time. Relapsed again today.
day 12
mo'ed yesterday. I didn't feel good afterward. I did it in response stress caused by lack of sleep due to this stupid b**** who lives above me and decides to vacuum at 11 pm and throw toys to her dog in the middle of the night. I don't want to MO. On friday, I sought out p, but everything is blocked. I want to log these mental relapses like that because those are the things that are the real problem.
mo'ed yesterday. I didn't feel good afterward. I did it in response stress caused by lack of sleep due to this stupid b**** who lives above me and decides to vacuum at 11 pm and throw toys to her dog in the middle of the night. I don't want to MO. On friday, I sought out p, but everything is blocked. I want to log these mental relapses like that because those are the things that are the real problem.