First time posting here. Want to get rid of this. I heard support helps.

[k-fff]

I had an urge quite big now. Real urges for me are best perceived as feeling really jittery and full of tension and the only way my body feels like it can relieve the tension is by getting the rush of dopamine from p. It starts by moping about how I can’t watch x p star or x scene anymore then escalates into a trance.
I just sat there today. I didn’t search. Even though, I have blockers the goal is to not even start -which is the searching.

 

[k-fff]

I had more bad urges today. It's like this moping for a thing that I am supposedly missing out on. Porn doesn't have any value though and I am not losing anything.

 

[k-fff]

close to relapse today. Felt that part of my brain get activated started searching. Not good.

 

[Phineas 808]

close to relapse today. Felt that part of my brain get activated started searching. Not good.

You acted on the urges, so that means they will return... But, take a step back. Don't be so invested in what happened emotionally, don't blame or beat yourself up about it. It's just the habit repeating itself.

Step outside of the story, breathe through the urges until they pass.

 

[k-fff]

Ok

You acted on the urges, so that means they will return... But, take a step back. Don't be so invested in what happened emotionally, don't blame or beat yourself up about it. It's just the habit repeating itself.

Step outside of the story, breathe through the urges until they pass.

Ok, ended up getting out of the house. Didn’t get a full relapse
Edit:
What I mean by this is that I didn’t see any p, I still consider this a mental relapse because I engaged in the urge. Main thing is dealing with the urge before it gets big. When I feed it, is when I lose control

 

[k-fff]

Day 23
Struggling.

 

[cookiemonster]

Day 23
Struggling.

STAY THE COURSE!!!! IT WILL BE WORTH IT

 

[k-fff]

Had a mental relapse today. I don’t want to stop having sex, but at the same time I have a really horrible chaser effect for three days after.

 

[dopaminer]

Had a mental relapse today. I don’t want to stop having sex, but at the same time I have a really horrible chaser effect for three days after.

A mental relapse, if you caught yourself and managed to stop (which is sounds like you did) actually seems like a good thing to me! You're reinforcing the neural pathways for controlling your actions, even in the face of the addiction and desire to PMO. Keep it up man!!

 

[k-fff]

A mental relapse, if you caught yourself and managed to stop (which is sounds like you did) actually seems like a good thing to me! You're reinforcing the neural pathways for controlling your actions, even in the face of the addiction and desire to PMO. Keep it up man!!

Yea, I call times I search that because even though I have blockers that will stop me seeing. I consider that indulging the urge.

 

[k-fff]

Relapsed today, looked at p, it was mostly searching because the net was bad saw a vid for like a few seconds, but plenty of pictures. left after almost an hour. Didnt m, I just searched. A relapse is a relapse. I think I did it because I have a new coworker that I am really attracted to, but right now, I am in a somewhat serious relationship again and I really don't want to ever cheat on someone again. I don't like how I feel and the chemistry with this girl so I am avoiding her. I don't like how I leaned into p to deal with this horniness towards this girl; it's like to stop myself from cheating. I hate it. I feel like because of p I can't connect well with my partner and shit like this happens.

 

[k-fff]

Day 2 didn't relapse yesterday despite having massive urges. I feel normal again and by normal I mean I don't have constant tension brought on by my brain screaming for dopamine. Severely depressed at the moment for other reasons, I don't feel like using p. Which tells me p use is in response to two things, 1. to compensate for being with just one girl. 2. getting rid of the tension and jitteriness that is caused by p use. Right now, I mostly have just 2. I almost always get a chaser effect after sex or MO.