First time posting here. Want to get rid of this. I heard support helps.

k-fff

Well-Known Member
My goal is to not want porn anymore and get my emotional confidence back. My confidence has been wrecked by porn. I don't want to develop pied either. I want to live my life. If I had a choice, I would have never saw. That's how I feel.
 

k-fff

Well-Known Member
only thing that matters is no more binging. I probably won't be on the computer tomorrow or likely the next three days.
 

k-fff

Well-Known Member
edging is frying my brain. After a week, I feel okay, but everytime I relapse it has gotten worse. I hate this so much. I honestly wish I could give up all electronics and live in the woods for a year. I wish I didn't need a smartphone or a computer for my job, but I do. I hate it so much.
 

Phineas 808

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
I honestly wish I could give up all electronics and live in the woods for a year. I wish I didn't need a smartphone or a computer for my job, but I do. I hate it so much.

This gives way too much credit to a smart phone, computer or electronics!

You are ultimately in control, not these things. You can overcome this, even with these things in your life.

How empowering it would be if, despite having access 24/7 to whatever content with these electronic devices in your life, and without using even p-blockers or filters, you still overcame your habits!

You are in control, and you have to reteach your brain this. Start with small goals (1 day, 5 days, 1 week) until you slowly take back control from the lower brain.

Don't be a stranger, k-fff! Never give up!
 

k-fff

Well-Known Member
This gives way too much credit to a smart phone, computer or electronics!

You are ultimately in control, not these things. You can overcome this, even with these things in your life.

How empowering it would be if, despite having access 24/7 to whatever content with these electronic devices in your life, and without using even p-blockers or filters, you still overcame your habits!

You are in control, and you have to reteach your brain this. Start with small goals (1 day, 5 days, 1 week) until you slowly take back control from the lower brain.

Don't be a stranger, k-fff! Never give up!
Thanks for the reply. That may be true, but this stuff is designed to make you fail and to cause an addiction. I would like to disconnect from electronics anyway, but it is absolutely impossible right now.
Day 5
Tired burnt out feel like I have no dopamine in my head at all.
 

k-fff

Well-Known Member
getting a lot of urges right now, I figured I would post about it instead of indulging. thinking about p I hate that I can remember it better than sex I had with real women. god, that's a depressing confession. The primary thing p does for me is numb emotions. That's what its done and I didn't realize it initially but it really blunts my emotions down to where I am "dead" inside. I hate saying something so dramatic, but it is like I have nothing going on emotionally.
 

k-fff

Well-Known Member
I miss my ex. I really miss her and I am 100% sure I am still in love with her. P wreaked havoc on our relationship by screwing with my satisfaction levels. I feel so much guilt about things that happened. If I were to tell her how I felt, we would probably get back together, but I can’t forgive myself for things I did in the last relationship. There are also other things that I am not gonna discuss that I worry about. My last relapse was due to this I went to see her and it really hurt. I couldn’t sleep and I ended up mo’ing which introduced a chaser which caused me to look at p. I miss her. I miss her all the time when I stop using.
 

k-fff

Well-Known Member
more urges today. I keep having really bad flashes for it when I get onto my computer. They happen then they fade. Anyway need to stay aware and not follow them.
 

DavS

Active Member
Don’t give up, that’s the only total failure. Analyze what went wrong, and be honest with yourself.
 

k-fff

Well-Known Member
There’s very little to look forward to. Not using p is the only thing I feel good about right now
 

k-fff

Well-Known Member
day 12
ex left for UK yesterday. Extremely depressed still. Been depressed since meeting her last. Having bad anxiety again.
 

k-fff

Well-Known Member
I've stopped making any number goals. I am just counting days. It's really meaningless. I hate my life. I hate my job. p just covers this massive emptiness inside me. dramatic, I know. I really mean it. I just hate everything and I don't think I am gonna be happy for a long time. My life is empty
 

k-fff

Well-Known Member
day 14 is coming and going. still depressed. It is what it is. I am just tired and I never feel like anything works or if I worked hard enough. I am just so tired all the time now.
 

96LostWanderer

Active Member
Keep going man. What are your triggers? Whenever you relapse it’s good to analyse what happened and make sure you can change something to reduce the chance of it happening again.
 
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