I haven’t lapsed yet. But man I had some insane urges today. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. My guess is a chaser. I have also been having these moments where I want to cheat on the girl I am with, but then I realize I shouldn’t/can’t do that and my mind uses that justify using p. That last urge felt like somebody clawing my brain. Ugh.I cant really say anything, because i myself had a relapse a few days ago. But i just wanted to remind you, that it wont be worth it. Not even a little bit. It just wont be worth it.
I can totally relate to this. This downloading habit is much worse, because pmo is over in 5-10mins whereas this goes on for hours and days. It leads to even skipping meals and sleep and almost being cutoff from the world. Even though streaming is as good as offline, we want our curated collection of our favorite scenes of our favorite ****stars at our fingertips. And the cycle ends with deletion of everything to be restarted again a few weeks later. However, I dont think this problem has to be tackled differently from the more normal porn addiction. The problem is always in our minds and can manifest in different ways for different persons.Back to urges to the point I am wanting to look up p while I’m at work. My version of this addiction is weird. I edge through downloading. I just spend time downloading different videos and edge that way. It is bizarre because it won’t even just be like watching multiple videos at once. It’s also just downloading to. I have questioned if it was possible to recreate my old habits with p and that was just jack off and be done with it. But whenever I start I get into this horrifying edging loop where I think I should stop, but my mind also wants to continue so maybe I will stop for 20 minutes then go another hour. I would spend hours doing that. A few times around 8 hours, it’s insane to me. That’s why I can’t go back to it. It literally is stealing my life away from me.
Yea, I am mostly annoyed about extending this process longer than it needs to be.Pick yourself up and dust it off. Relapses happen but it’s all part of the process. You’ve made it a long time without relapsing so you should take some encouragement from that.
Yea, this describes my problem to a T. And yea, it’s awful. There were a lot of days like that for me.I can totally relate to this. This downloading habit is much worse, because pmo is over in 5-10mins whereas this goes on for hours and days. It leads to even skipping meals and sleep and almost being cutoff from the world. Even though streaming is as good as offline, we want our curated collection of our favorite scenes of our favorite ****stars at our fingertips. And the cycle ends with deletion of everything to be restarted again a few weeks later. However, I dont think this problem has to be tackled differently from the more normal porn addiction. The problem is always in our minds and can manifest in different ways for different persons.