struggling on my journey out of porn addiction

Hey guys,

I am new to this website and am looking forward to the encouraging words and motivation you guys have to offer. I am a 19 soon to be 20,(felt i could put a journal here to to hear from you guys) college freshman who is addicted to porn. I am not at the worst i have been. I go to a christian college and they have some barriers set up for our wifi but we all know there is ways around it or finding other things to fit your fill. Ive been addicted since junior high school a tiny bit in 6th grade but mainly 7th and 8th and its been an up and down battle ever since. I am a Christian and regularly attend church and i am in a relationship with my girlfriend for almost 4 and a half years and ive seen the hurt this addiction has put on my girlfriend. I can understand it fully but i know it kills her on the inside when i go look at other women because then she feels like she is not good enough and she's not pretty or beautiful. I try my best to tell her thats not it and im just addicted and trying my freaking hardest to stop. I have been pretty open to people about my addiction with seeking for help and have gotten alot of it, i dont have many apps on my phone and my brother took the app store away and put a browser called mobichip on where i cant see porn. the thing that still gets me is my laptop, my roomate has help set up some blocks but there are still websites i can access even at school and home. But since its April first i wanna publicly say i want to stop looking at porn and or other provocative things that hurt me and my girlfriend. Because i want to marry this girl and i want this to be done when i do.

Sorry for the long message of everything, if you have questions or anything feel free to comment or message me!

Collin "ButterBeans"
 
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