I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery

ShadeTrenicin

Well-Known Member
Thanks Orbiter and batman99!

So, today is day 17 already. Barely escaped yesterday. Buildup of a lot of thing + possibility.. I started but stopped before I finished.
With the help of my accountabiilty partner i've managed to make it through the rest of the day. Today i'm feeling much much better and stronger!

Onwards!
 

ShadeTrenicin

Well-Known Member
Day 19...

Still going strong, escaped once more yesterday... Its been difficult lately. Busy project at work, doing the household, being there for my wife, online full time course and dealing with day to day stuff.. But i will prevail.. I notice that i do not take the time any more to really stop and analyse one here... I miss it. But also we normally cut screen time after 2100 (except tonight)and somehow posting does not come onto my priority list.

Anyway there is a lot to deal with and although I talk a lot more about thing i simply cannot unlearn not keeping my feelings inside withij a day.. So its a process of growth. Yet, I am pleased in which direction I am growing.



Take care my friends,
 

SebUK

Active Member
Definitely recommend making time to keep posting here! Assuming it helps you. I find it super helpful myself. Not many others we can talk to about this problem.
 

ShadeTrenicin

Well-Known Member
I agree SebNZ. I do feel that if i dont put the effort in im not taking it seriously somehow. Day 21 but im still in the danger zone.. In fact i've been surfing the danger zone for about a week now....

 

Orbiter

Well-Known Member
Hi Shade,

It's good that you recognise that you have been in the 'danger zone' so to speak. This feeling may also probably compounded by how busy you are? Posting and accountability is important but don't beat yourself up if you need to prioritise life over journaling here and there. As long as we're still PMO free and working towards the life & person we want to be, we're doing ok.

Also Don't forget, this particular period of days is usually the most difficult. I'm sure if you focus on getting through each day, one at a time, you'll be in a better place soon enough.

Keep up the good work! Wishing you and Mrs Trenicin well.
 

Phineas 808

Well-Known Member
Hello, Shade.

Started reading your journal, and am looking forward to your journey.

Good that you recognize what is a 'danger zone' to you. Do you have a plan for such a place? Is it a matter of strengthening your resolve somehow? Is it a matter of changing the little habits around the unwanted habit?

I know from your earlier posts that you informed your wife of your struggles. Sometimes if I need a strong motivator, I recall the horror on my wife's face when I told her on a couple of different occasions of my secret activities... the pain on her face, the feelings of betrayal, the feelings of her thinking that she's not good enough or beautiful.

These are hard things to think about, the pain we cause our significant other. But if it helps to save you from the danger zone, then for the better...

Rooting for you.
 

Orbiter

Well-Known Member
Any updates Shade? Hopefully the danger zone is beginning to pass by this time.

Still rooting for you! Stay strong, be well.
 

Sanders

Active Member
Hey Shade,

Hope all is well with you! December 1st was your 21st day, I hope you managed to escape the danger zone and you're now at day 35 somewhere. If not, I hope you're doing alright yourself. There is no shame or judgement in this forum, just people who genuinly want to help and make each other move towards a better place in life.

You wrote earlier that you were expecting difficult times ahead because of personal situations, I trust you can manage these environmental changes and focus on what grounds you in your recovery. In a programme I use, the things or people that are most important in our recovery journey are called 'anchors'. They ground you, they form your base, and you can rely on them. An anchor can be either a person, a passion, or a purpose. Something that you can fixate on and that'll make you think twice when in difficult situations. I hope you can find your anchor(s), or something similar that may help you.

All the best, we're here rooting for you!
 

imsorrynotsorry

Active Member
Hey Shade,

i wish you a very good start to this new year. For most of us, it can't get more worse than the last year was.
Keep up the fight, we're tracking along.

Imsor
 

ShadeTrenicin

Well-Known Member
Hi All,

It's been quite a while since I've been on here, and I'm pleased to report that I am doing quite well.

First of all I wish you all the best for this coming year. I wish you all good health and a year in which you rid yourself of the demon that is PMO.

Here all is well, I'm at day 26 currently and before my last relapse on december 15, I was also at around 30. Things are going well so to say.

I've not been on here for a while because the forum in itself became a sort of addiction. Each day i was checking multiple times and had to respond to everyone. This was something that I needed to disconnect from for my own benefit.  I do come online every once in a while and I do keep up with everyone I was following.  And I'm also delighted to see that there are a lot of new members as well. This means that people are becoming more and more aware of the dangers of porn addiction.

The other reason I am not on here so much anymore is that I have an accountability partner, UKguy from the 40+ section. I think I've mentioned this earlier.
Although the forum is a great source of information and everyone is of great help and very supportive, having an accountability partner is the little extra that was needed for me. It goes beyond the anonymity of this forum, but that is also it's power; having two people with the same problem that can discuss it without any shame. It's really liberating to talk so freely about this subject. And because we can talk so freely about it face to face the shame goes away. And without shame it's easier to adress the issues and problems surrounding PMO.

I would recommend everyone of you to also look for an accountability partner. The issue of anonimity can be scary but once you overcome this it is actually liberating. For me it was te best choice because for me UKguy is not only an accountability partner but also becoming a friend.

I hope you all will have a kick ass year. I will be coming on here to check in every once in a while and keep up to date with every one of you guys
 
Wish there was a like option so that I could like your last post.

Glad to hear about your current progress. I remember you being a very positive and supportive member, but I understand the desire to distance yourself from the forum. I too have noticed that I can fall into obsessively checking them, and that it isn't the best for my mental health.

Looking forward to reading more about your successful recovery.

Take care
 

Orbiter

Well-Known Member
Hi Shade,

I am glad to hear of the leaps & bounds you are making in yourself and your journey of healing & recovery. Though the forum has not been the same without your support, insights & persistent positivity, it also sounds like you have found a path forward that is working well for you and that's great to read. We are still here for support if you feel you need it and I am looking forward to hearing more of your continuing progress next time you are inclined to drop by.

Keep up the great work!
 

Wolfman

Member
Hey, I really hope you're doing well Shade. Glad to hear that finding somebody else to talk face to face about this has been a positive development for you. Rooting for you to erase this demon as well as transform yourself to be the best version you can ever be! Cheers Shade! Keep well!
 

ShadeTrenicin

Well-Known Member
Hey guys,

Thanks for your well wishes!

Everything on this end is going pretty well actually. Although I had a slip up 19 days ago, i'm doing great. In fact the Mrs and I finally had sex yesterday and it was amazing. It has been 18 months. This is of course also due to the fact that after 13 months she's still not recovered from COVID unfortunately. However, things are going better and better with her (albeit in a slow pace) and yesterday was perfect.
It was great but also a bit unreal because it's the first time that we had sex since i've been recovering. So all sorts of thoughts were going through my head but I managed to remain open and in constant contact with her which was nice! It was actually so nice that at one point it was so intense that she had to get her inhaler because we induced an asthma attack with her.. Thanks COVID!

Anyhow, I've been away for quite a while but every once in a while I still pop in to see how everyone is doing.I'm still in very regular contact with UKGuy and that relationship is working quite well for us.


Thats it for now, take care all.
 
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