HE'S BACK! I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery


Active Member
Appreciate the share Shade! Sorry to hear that the initial meeting wasn't as hoped or expected. Seriously great efforts identifying your feelings and staying strong. Hope Sunday and Monday treated you well!


Well-Known Member
Thanks Toast!
Unfortunately today is day 0.
A 'classic' PMO relapse. The past days I've just been going and going without properly reflecting even though I was tired. Last night I couldn't sleep and got dragged into the trap. It immediately also exposed how not in touch I've been with my emotions lately because a storm of emotions and feelings came up last night after the relapse.
There is so much going on in my life right now and I've no control to change anything other than how i'm dealing with it. I've been doing quite ok, but sometimes it's just to much.
Today I'll just focus on surviving on 2 hours of sleep and healthy activities and going to bed early.

One of the things that popped into my mind today is that slowly I'm letting go of the woman I've had the affair / love addiction with. She's been a big part of my thoughts for the past months and the realisation that that will be gone has had quite an impact on me as it has me feeling lonely, alone and untethered. It also feels like such a 'waste' because so much effort, desire and longing went into something that was never realised.. Accepting this will take quite some more time and it feels bittersweet because I'm relieved that I'm moving on but also am sad about it.

The funny thing is that for the past months my urges have been surrounding her a lot but now that I'm letting her go I notice that the urges are changing back to their old paths. Very sneaky

Tomorrow I'll go to the SA group so that I can build a network.
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