Becoming a better me


Well hello again, Reboot Nation.

I first found this site back in 2013 when I was 13 years old (makes me going on 20 now). Still the same orange banners and web design... guess some things don?t change.

First off, what am I doing here?
This is going to be a journal of sorts for myself, like many others on here with the bonus of being able to share my journey as well as interact with and learn with others. My goal: to move away from the bad habit of porn and to become ?not the kind of guy who watches porn?.

Secondly, what brought me here?
I knew about RN a while ago, but came back because of this article
Some recommended reading for you. You know, as a complete stranger whom you know nothing about I can assure you it?s good stuff.**

**Actually, I?ve come and gone through RN before and I know most of the hardships here, particularly guilt and pressure. This article was great for me in regards to  mindset and ultimately brought me back here in a hopeful way after 6 years.

Thirdly, time for my (somewhat) condensed life story:
The past:
Started googling nude images on parents computer behind their backs at about age 7, confessed a few times and a net filtering service got  put on the PC?s by parents. Mostly helped things, I looked for loopholes and eventually I got my iPod touch in 2012ish. Prepubescent curiosity ran rampant and I was watching porn a LOT, feeling really guilty and continuing on this cycle. I discovered masturbation, my first one was a PMO and started masturbating an average of twice a day, with PMO most of the time.

There was always a lot of guilt about porn with me. When educating myself online about porn at 13, I decided to ?self diagnose? myself with Porn Addiction and Delayed Ejaculation Syndrome*. I found RN and joined with a no MO/PMO goal and had a journal then too.

It was probably the most brutal 6 months of my youth. It caused more damage than it helped. Puberty was really kicking in, my sex drive was in overdrive and I put myself through hell trying and failing to abstain from not just porn but my natural needs and desires. I was seriously crashing and burning as. 13 year old in many areas of my life. Eventually, my Dad had to sit me down and tell me it was okay to watch porn and that I wasn?t an ?addict?.

I quit RN, I quit trying to quit. Not because I?d ?failed? but because it?s what I needed at the time.

I stopped believing I was ?sick? and that  instead I had an unhealthy habit that I needed to keep in moderation, to not let it interfere with the important things in life such as study or relationships (not just romantic).

I had an overall neutral relationship with porn from that point forward. There?s certainly been ups and downs, times where I felt indifferent, times where I really liked it, times where  I?ve overindulged and many times where I tried and failed to quit. It just was a bad habit that got me sometimes, but I dealt with it and moved on.

*Oh and just so I actually address it -for me- the whole delayed ejaculation at 13 year?s old was a sham. Whether it?s premature or delayed, when you?re discovering assisted orgasm for the first time, things rarely go smoothly. in fact, me being super worried that I was ?disabled? while experimenting at that age was probably the main thing that ?held me back?. Sure, I was able to relax/get off to porn and wiring my brain to it was NOT a good thing, but in hindsight it was a minuscule factor. Porn-induced delayed ejaculation IS a legit thing, but bros please be careful about labelling yourself when you?re inexperienced because it absolutely caused me more harm than good.

At 16, I lost my virginity and overcame my ?chronic nervousness? to my long term girlfriend who I?m still with. I have had a wonderful sexual journey with her so far and porn has been a very minor player in the health of that aspect of the relationship.

The now:
Zip bam boom, we?re here now. Same girlfriend, 19 years old and I PMO an average of once a day. Being an ever hopeful young person, I?m at a place in my life where if I want a change, I make it happen for myself. Thusly, I have been in a state of indecision for a little while about whether porn is actually a bad habit for me and if it?s worth kicking. Particularly considering the mental onslaught ?Rebooting? took me down last time.

Oddly enough, this wasn?t a New Years resolution. It was just me not enjoying sneaking into the bathroom at midnight and then doing some research as to if I should quit and how I could do it.

The biggest change?

Read the website I sent dude. Also thanks for reading this far, I hope you brought popcorn when you started.

I read it. I discovered this thing is a simply bad habit, and just like any other I can kick it. Sure it?s related to addiction, but I?m not scared of it like that anymore. I?m not giving it that power over me or that fear. Ultimately, I?m going from the type of guy who watches porn, to the type of guy who doesn?t watch porn. I?m treating porn like junk food, and I?m just not eating it because it?s bad for me.


I?m not sure how often I?ll be updating this journal, but I imagine I?ll try to be active for those with questions and as I continue my journey learning about porn and our wonderful minds. There?s a bunch of tips and strategies that I?ve learned in my experience with reboot that I?ll be critically re-using and I?ll probably mention them when I add to this topic, but for now that?s enough waffle from me.

Just wanted to finish by saying that my biggest thing is not giving porn a place of fear in your life. This should be a healthy and guilt free change to the way I do things In life. Simple as avoiding junk food. The word recovery is too negative for me, so this is just a journey to a better me.

It?s nice to be back among friends, let?s make our lives better together amigos.



Alright amigos, update #1

Still clean of porn. No real thoughts or bothers from that department but I guess I?ve been pretty free. I did have the usual opportunity/?trigger? happen yesterday and the day before of me being in the bathroom late at night, but I either just said no or MO?d which honestly was really nice just fantasising and being more in touch with my body again. The orgasms are always way better lol.

Anyway more the reason I?m posting tonight is me trying to work through some of the gear I have in my head regarding my relationship.

There?s been a lot of ups and downs in my relationship with my gf and honestly sex has never been a stable part of the relationship, particularly with me having a super high sex drive and hers barely non existent.  We?ve been working on trying to help this for a while along with a bunch of other things in the relationship, and things have really been looking up recently.

In fact, my girlfriend had actually begun doing some research for a better understanding/help in regards to this issue as a couple. This is actually hugely encouraging for me because it?s her taking initiative for the growth of the relationship which is something that hasn?t happened a lot from her end.

She?s found this website and really connected with this theory that she?s developing an aversion so sex. It was a little strong for what I was expecting, but it does help to be able to understand and identify these things, particularly as she said she related strongly to it. She was also particularly keen about the ?recovery? process for this, which essentially involved various forms of meditation leading towards developing intimacy from a place where she was the one in control/actively pursuing it.

Overall I think this is a great thing. THE ONLY ISSUE is that I?m potentially going to have to go without sex for a month of more. I know this isn?t a huge deal for a lot people and I?ve waiting longer for sex whil I?ve been with her under less positive circumstances. Still, it kinda dawned on me tonight that I?m attempting to rebuild my sexuality away from porn, as well as abstain from sex with her for potentially longer than a month. When you could easily have sex 3 times a day.... that?s a while for me Hahahaha.

So yeah. As much as I?m a little concerned about added pressure, I do think that this does present itself as an opportune moment. I can use this positive change in my life away from porn to fuel my desire and intimacy for my partner as she rebuilds her position of intimacy in our relationship. Should be great.

Only early day?s though and I?m not tearing my hair out because I?m a horny monster who can?t do anything but we?ll see. Feeling strong and hopeful, I just have to know to be careful, caring and smart about how I navigate the next month or so with my partner. Wish me luck fellas.

Feel free to let me know your thoughts on any of this and words of encouragement are always welcome hahah. Otherwise I?m enjoying just having this as a reflective outlet so far.



Well-Known Member
All good points. I can only strenghten you in your thoughts. Keep up the giid work.


Status report #2

Ups and downs.

Decided to speak to my Dad today about the girlfriend being sexually averse. I share a lot of stuff with me and he was really quite concerned about it because, honestly, it is a worrying sign about a relationship. Particularly considering as things haven?t been great a bunch of other aspects too. It got me pretty worried about the future of me with my girlfriend (again) so I decided to call her up tonight. Plus I just missed her and it?s nice talking to her. She?s currently away at. Horse camp btw.

As this forum is more of a diary for me rather than a reboot ?log?, I guess it might do with me explaining a little bit more about my relationship as I go as that?s a big part of what?s happening to me currently. If any of you guys have any questions, feel free to ask them to me about my relationships.

Anyway so there?s been a few issues like her not contributing to the house/shared chores (we live in a share house) or her not cleaning ranging through to the way she speaks me/treats me and asks me to do things for her and ultimately how we?re mismatched with sex drives and how sex is not entirely functional for us and that I feel like I?m the one keeping it alive in many senses.

I know it sounds like pretty thick shit for a 19 year old to be working through, but there?s a lot of things I really love about this woman. I?ve also had a lot of amazing times with her before. I won?t list these positives but believe me she?s an awesome girlfriend to have.

So, she and I wanna work on things that haven?t been great, and we have been making progress. That?s where this whole ?sexual aversion? concept for her comes in. It?s part of her learning more about herself and wanting to change for the better of her and ultimately the relationship too. I guess I?m the same way that I?m changing with porn.

ANYWAY, getting back to the conversation we had on the phone TONIGHT. I was basically really worried about where the relationship was gonna go if she goes through this sexual discovery journey and things don?t get better. I also wanted o just chat too, because God I miss her.

-She said I didn?t have to worry, and that she didn?t want me to. She said that I should look towards the positives of what could happen out of this, rather than dwelling on the negative worries that it might fail
-She seemed to be really confident about this journey. It?s SUPER refreshing for me because it?s absolutely her independent change to how she works as a sexual person (like fantasy, arousal and even masturbation) that she hasn?t had before. I don?t have to pressure her, she?s got it all by herself.
-We had a great time haha.
-She also said she?d give me some more pics for when I?m feeling like I really miss her (woohoo!!)

So I feel quite hopeful after that conversation and man I love her and miss her. I?m still anxious to an extent and I still wanna make sure that things are moving in a healthy way and that we?re both right for each other in the relationship, but this really feels like a step in the right direction. Could have some fantastic changes  if it works out, like loads more sex! That?s what I?m looking forward to hahaha.

On the whole sex regard, porn is still no bother. I?ve had my normal porn viewing opportune moment come and go again today with no hassle. I just scroll social media instead. Not a great fix, but while I?m on holidays it feels alright and it?s better than watching porn.

I even had a bunch of soft core open turn up on social media feeds for me today. Didn?t bother me, just say it and moved on. It made me kinda horny, but I?m not worried about ?relapsing? and it?s just something I wanna stock clear of for a whole y?know? Didn?t feel like it was hunting me and I didn?t guiltily linger on the image. Just came and went.

On that note, I did MO tonight and that was great haha. I?m gaining a clearer head with each day and knowing what I do and don?t wanna be fantasising about, and also what?s good and isn?t good for me. I feel like I?m getting back in touch more with my body and it?s natural urges rather than just feeding junk machine to a bad habit.

im shattered now and want to sleep. Ups and downs today I guess, but overall I?m still feeling hopeful about my own growth and the growth of the person who I love. That?s a pretty fantastic feeling and I?m thankful for that before I go to bed.

Jeks said:
All good points. I can only strenghten you in your thoughts. Keep up the giid work.

Thank you for your kind words of encouragement Jeks. It really does help getting support on here.

This has been a long entry, if you made it this far then well done haha. Maybe I?ll write a book one day. Again, feel free to just shoot me any random questions and advice is always greatly appreciated.

Goodnight Reboot Nation.


Well-Known Member
Haha you still doing fine.
I dont know what type of pics those are, but br aware that your brain doesnt really know what porn is, so for our brain the problem is really all kind of artificial stimulation. Pics of a gf sadly really also fall into this category.... Also like sexual literature can lighten up the pathways again, which we want to unwire.


Status update #3

Back home from seeing family in 2 days. Can?t wait. Gf told me she?d be away for another week for work. Can?t wait to see her even more.

I stumbled across some notes in my phone I made when I was writing my thoughts down about my relationship. It was pretty intense stuff and I put it away. Given the dwindling change gf has put forward, I don?t wanna open that can of worms until I?m ready to evaluate properly how things are. Until then I just need to wait until she comes home and give her the chance she deserves to make a serious effort at becoming in touch with her sexuality.

So apart from seeing and putting that away, it?s been fine. Had a bit of urge tonight, but went with MO instead while fantasising and boy was that great. It?s funny cuz when I MO, particularly when fantasising, my orgasms linger in a really awesome way. I?m super happy to be rediscovering that as I gradually step away from my interest in porn so there?s another positive change to be thankful for.

Jeks said:
Haha you still doing fine.
I dont know what type of pics those are, but br aware that your brain doesnt really know what porn is, so for our brain the problem is really all kind of artificial stimulation. Pics of a gf sadly really also fall into this category.... Also like sexual literature can lighten up the pathways again, which we want to unwire.

Thanks for the reply Jeks! I saw this a few days ago and thought I?d reply now.

I really appreciated your comment, because it?s actually made me reconsider why I?m actually staying away from porn. I guess I could currently define those reasons as:
-I feel like I?m sexually dependant on it, particularly for MO.
-That I want to be investing more sexual energy into my relationship, not just from in sex but also about my fantasies, particularly while MO?ing
-I want to explore myself more MO and have better orgasms.

-I?m morally confused about watching porn if I?m honest. A part of me really feels that it?s a healthy arousal to have, but I also don?t think it?s healthy to be watching people have sex all the time instead of looking after yourself the ?natural? way.

Just like junk food I guess. I don?t like consuming fatty foods, but it?s normal to want and enjoy a snack every now and then, as long as you?re eating healthy all other times. I?m beginning to really like that analogy hahaha.

To add more to that point, I?m not really doing a ?reboot? because my main focus isn?t ?rewiring? my brain, it?s on making my lifestyle healthier. I?m fully aware that my brain will essentially be ?rebooted? because of the change of sexual material I?m prioritising (?natural? vs ?artificial?) but that title is honestly too clinical and ?addiction? based for what I?m focusing on, which is simply a journey to a healthier me. Less dwelling on villainizing porn and more focus on bringing more good stuff that I?m missing in my sex life!

ABOUT THE PHOTOS - lol I like to ramble don?t it? Feels good to get my thoughts out like this though!

Yes, the photos she?s sending are nudes. No, I don?t think they are detrimental to my lifestyle change.

Imagining restricting/guilting myself for looking at naked photos of my own girlfriend I believe is a super unnatural way to think. It puts a lot negative stigma around an intimate part of my relationship and would cause guilt on a healthy part of my arousal that would quite probably drive my back into porn for comfort/rebellion. .

To further explain, while these photos are kinda ?artificial?, my brain knows that it?s different to porn, because I know that it?s different to porn. We?re one and the same thing hahah. More specifically, it?s a very different emotional, physical and intimate experience than watching porn, because it?s directly linked to real memories and real fantasy about a real person. It?s a way for me to put more sexual energy into my relationship too and it makes me feel closer to her.

I want my brain wired to be aroused at the sight of my gf?s body, and sometimes that?s gonna have to come from photographs sometimes and that?s 100% okay with me.

Thanks so much for your reply again Jeks! I really appreciated it man, even if it sounded like I was just disagreeing with what you said hahaha. Thinking through this has really helped me strengthen my mindset and feel more confident in the direction I?m taking, and that wouldn?t have happened without you making that suggestion!

I?d love to hear any more suggestions or queries you?ve got. Maybe PM me? But I mean this forum is already cluttered with my ramble lmao and I think it?s awesome having public discussions on here anyway and learning about this stuff on each other?s journeys!

I?m signing off for tonight fellas. I haven?t really been counting but it?s 8 days porn free and I?m feeling gooood. Best of luck with all your endeavours and I?ll see y?all probably in a few more days. Thanks for reading another one of my typo-rich books lol.


Captain?s log. Entry 4.

I?m pretty all over the place.

First and foremost I miss my girlfriend a LOT. She?s been gone for nearly 2 weeks now and I find myself kinda not knowing what to do with myself, particularly now that I?m home. I?m aware that I don?t have a lot of independent wind down things, particularly with porn not in the picture anymore. So, I?m going to make an effort to pick up a guitar or book when I?m bored or need to unwind.

That being said, I have many things that I need to get done over the next few days, including looking for a new job. Looking forward to demolishing my to do list haha.

On the sexual front, I?m massively frustrated. Really missing my girlfriend coupled with no porn has left my body just feeling so out of whack and my sexual desire has really picked up. It?s great that it?s all mostly channeled towards my girlfriend, but I?m in a state of unrest, particularly with her current absence. I feel like I?ve just gotta work through this, sort myself out as best I can and wait for her to come home.

There?s been some moments of mild desire to watch porn, but I?m trying to channel all of my sexual energy currently towards MO and fantasy, which is awesome but a bit a jarring change. Honestly it?s a bit of an effort too with how high my current sex drive is.

Anyway that?s where I am. Let?s get this stuff done!


Journal Entry 5

Still got a lot to do, but I?ve been productive. I recently watched this video about keeping an organised lifestyle. Helped me develop a more productive and positive mindset.

Girlfriend gets home tomorrow night, as well as having a friend come up from Tasmania (I?m in AUS). We?re having a board games and drinks night as well as many other awesome adventures planned very soon. Very excited for all of those events.

That being said, I do have some apprehension about not having sex for the next little while, even though my girlfriend will be back. She?s said she wants to lay off while she starts the ?Self discovering of intimacy? journey. I?m not entirely sure how long this ?journey? is going to take her, and some days it feels like I don?t want to be doing anything else but having sex with her... so I am a little nervous about how my abstinence work out for me. A timeframe will help and I?ll chat to her about this next time I get to talk to her.

I went looking for porn last night in my search history, and found it. I wouldn?t say I got aroused, but I started really craving watching it. Guess once you lick the icing on the cake it?s hard not to take a bite hey. I?ve decided to set myself the goal of 30 days without PMO, and I cleared those website histories to get rid of temptation.

30 days, at the very least, will be easy enough. Not so long ago, it felt like trying not to PMO twice a day was nearly impossible, so I?m super happy with how my new mindset has changed that.

MO has started to feel a little compulsive, but I?m giving myself leniency considering I recently just gave up porn, my gf has been away for over 2 weeks and that I have a super high sex drive that?s coming back in full swing. I?m trying to listen more to my body with the urge to MO, like if I?m doing something and I can?t stop touching myself than I?ll take a break and go outside or do a quick side job I?ve been meaning to do. But if I?m sitting there and just get hard plus that ?feeling? starts coming on -depending on how important what I?m doing is- it?s green light from there.

I also find myself frequently checking RN. Even though this is a fantastic place for my journal, to hear stories and be educated, it?s also a place where I?ve previously obsessed about staying away from porn, which inadvertently isn?t a healthy habit and makes this problem bigger than it needs to be for me. Therefore, I?m going to try limiting RN to a nighttime activity. I think I?ll toss social media into that boat as well.

I?m happy with my productivity over the past few days and there?s thankfully still more to keep me busy! I like being busy haha. Absolutely excited for seeing some wonderful people over the next few days!


Hey dude!

Glad to see you staying strong and making progress. I'm on a journey to quit as well, though I'm actually going hard mode for my own personal reasons, but porn is certainly the bigger evil in this picture, so as long as you can stay away from that, it's going to be good.

I also wanted to bounce off some ideas about what you have talked about if you don't mind. Of course I am no expert, but I've got my own set of experiences and info I've come across, so maybe you can benefit from some of it!

So first, I wanted to address your attempt at quitting when you were 13. I don't think avoiding porn and masturbation is necessarily bad at any age, but puberty is certainly quite a hormonal stage of life, and there's probably a lot of positives to masturbating at that age and getting to know yourself a bit sexually. I do not think porn is a net positive in any situation, and actually having sex would be the best way to explore your sexuality, but of course, that is not necessarily easy, and takes time to get to.

I think that in general it was handled in a good way, and even if it wasn't, we can pretty much close the page on that since it's super distant at this point, and it would probably make no sense to dwell on it.

Second, I want to address your current "rewire", if that's the term you're using. I think it's a great idea to do it, so I can only applaud that determination. As for the way you're doing it, it all depends on you at last, but I think there is great value in not needing sexual discharge to feel good in a day. You should make sure that you're not thinking about porn during regular MO, because if you are, you probably won't be making any progress. If you are not, there shouldn't be any bigger problems, but if you can reduce the amount of MO you do, odds are you will speed up your improvements. You can evaluate that on your own what you want to undergo, and if you aren't cheating yourself from greater benefits by not doing a more strict reboot. (And if you want some resources to watch, I'd suggest these two videos that explain the concept: and ) Again, just throwing this idea in. You can see how it applies to you or your situation, and decide for yourself  :D

Third, I want to look at your relationship. I probably don't have (and won't ever have, even if you wrote everything out for me, there's stuff I will miss and that you will miss) all the information I would need to make a judgement about it. So rather than doing that, I will direct you to a few videos. All three of these videos are from a guy named Alex Allman. I'm going to sound like I'm sponsored here but I'm really not xD. This guy is probably the most underrated sex and relationship coach out there. He's brutally intelligent, he's got some killer insight into all sorts of stuff, and he gives away SO MUCH INFORMATION for free through his channel and his newsletter and stuff, it's bonkers. And all of his material, ALL OF IT, hell, even the dating advice stuff he has, is SO techinque-free and social-engineering-free, and so honest and down to earth and empowering to your own identity... I just can't recommend this guy enough (I literally can't. It's a bit strange to recommend a sex coach just like that), so I do it everytime I can, and I hope you'll check him out.

Anyways, these are three videos from him. All three are on relationships (he's got some great content on sex but you can check it out in his channel if you feel like it, so I won't elaborate). The first two I do recommend you watch 100%, last one is more optional.

(Btw, In all of them he concludes with a sales pitch to one of his programs, or his website, or something. Just ignore that if you don't care, because the videos have some damn great info by themselves, and work well even if you don't follow up with anything else) This is a beautiful damn video, and it's super short, so do check it out, it might shift your mentality just the way you need. (Or it might be something you know already, but give it a go. I think it's worth it.) This one is a video you will probably greatly benefit from no matter what, so if you were to watch only one of these, watch this one This one talks about marriage, and specially marriage that has gone on for long, so it might SEEM like it's not concerning to you, but the earlier you learn this stuff the better. Anyways, there might be some stuff that doesn't apply to you in this one, but it's probably going to be useful too, if you want to go the extra mile.

Hope you like these, and I look forward to hearing your response to all this rambling.

And good luck with all your stuff!



Thanks for your reply Damien. Had a good read through your comment, watched all of the videos and then took some time reflect and work through the content.

I don?t fantasise about P when I MO, instead I just imagine my GF or past physical experiences that I?ve had. You?re just cheating yourself otherwise, right? xD

I definitely agree with you about lightening up on MO to avoid the compulsive activity, and I?ve been doing just that over the past week! It?s not really something I?m consciously planning, I?m just trying to listen to my body more and only pursuing it if it works for me and if I *really* want to do it. Cheers!

As for the videos, I learned from them. Thank you so much for sending that much through, I had a great time watching them!

Despite the perspective of the first vid, I still think staying clear of hard mode is best for me at the moment. Cutting out sex and MO does require more discipline, but the main concern I have is manufacturing guilt around those activities that I really want separated from P. Perhaps one day as a mean of self control I might do it, but I want something healthy and positive to work with in the meantime.

Personally, I?m finding it easy to disassociate porn from MO and sex and therefore they?re providing good old natural release for me, which is ultimately what I?m working towards. It?s the end goal for me, so I?m don?t feel I need to take a break to let everything ?reset? as I?m feeling able to do it ?on the go? with my current mindset.

Speaking of mindset, I don?t know if I?d call my journey a ?rewire?, although technically that?s what?s happening as a consequence. I?m mostly focusing on understanding my behaviour patterns and practicing simple discipline to improve my lifestyle. It?s why I?m using the junk food analogy a lot xD.

I actually typed this out a few times, but decided not to include most of it because it was just clutter. Essentially, there were certain things I didnt like about universal man?s advice. I just feel like he didn?t really paint an honest picture of what porn plays in people?s lives (as a lot of people aren?t porn addicts, but still healthy/moderate users) and also that he labelled masturbation as ?weak?. I do think that it?s great advice for a select demographic of hardcore rebooters, but I don?t think it suited me or many other moderate porn users. Feel free to pm me cuz I?m always up for a chat about this stuff!

Great learning experience though and it?s fantastic to see such a disciplined and forward facing person as that.

Alex Allman... Wow! That guy is a wonderful life mentor and I?ll absolutely keep him in mind when I feel like I need some help working though things in my relationship. Thanks so much for suggesting him bro!

Cheers man :D


Hey man!

Glad you liked Alex. He's just fantastic, and seriously more people need to know about him. His upload schedule and theme consistency are a bit erratic sometimes, but everything he puts out is just gold... If you have some free time and feel like it, look through his other videos too. You might just get one nugget of information that turns something in your life around (I have found a few of those :U)

As for your points on Universal man, sure! It's really a personal perspective thing. He's got his opinions, and you can evaluate if they work for you or not. But he certainly is just a hardcore warrior in this sense, and he has got some great insight on why porn does some of the things it does to people.

Anyways, glad to see you up and running!

Best of luck!


Well, here I am

Feel a bit silly with the timing of this. PMO?d today. I didn?t really have a clear goal in my head of how long I wanted to go without PMO, and I guess what I told myself was ?you?ve gone this far, even if you call it here it?s a good effort?.

So yeah kinda unsure of how I feel about events at the moment. I?m not calling this a relapse, mostly because I don?t want to give it that kind of power.

I?m happy with the progress I made and I?m proud of myself for going that far. Let?s aim for 40 days this time. Time to jump back on the diet! I?m going to make an effort to try clearing as much porn/history from my phone as I can so that I?m not tempted to go back.

Had a fight with the gf last night, but we resolved that and things feel like they?re continuing on a great trajectory again. Eager to keep riding the wave. If not for myself, it should be for my relationship also that I need to gain more control over my sex drive. Everything is easier when you?re in control, and I need to go back to where I was to continue doing that.

Cheers amigos


Don't sweat it man.

Give a blocker a try. It's stopped me from PMOing a few times, even if I did MO at the end (still a slip, but not as bad.). It's not going to actually prevent you from accessing porn since you can turn it off, but it will be a barrier that will give you a minute to re-think.

Or if you'd like to go all in, Covenant eyes is paid, but a great program.

There is rarely a journey with no hiccups.

Secondly, it's on you to set your terminology and stuff, but you should be honest with yourself no matter what. Commit to this one thing. Even if you aren't that committed to quitting, if you are constantly working on being fully, brutally honest with yourself, you will eventually leave the habit. I find it incredibly important.

I also think that the fact that you fought the night before gives a good clue about how you slipped. Emotional uneasiness is THE thing that makes you crave things that you've been using as escapes, like PMO, at least in my case, and probably in yours too.

I think you got a great streak for starters. But really, streaks are not that important, compared with reducing the frequency of PMO over time until you eventually drop it for good.

Stay strong going forward!


Chuffing along

Thanks for the reply Damien! I?ll definitely keep it in mind, but I?m gonna keep going without a blocker atm. They?ve been a pain and not a lot of help to me before.

Nice comment about honesty. I feel pretty honest with myself right now, particularly with my new goal in mind and I?ve been able to remind myself to stay clear of the habit a few times over the past days, which is nice.

Yeah I do agree about the emotional hurt being a large factor of PMO. I?m trying to centre myself into reading and guitar to replace the habit as well as comfort activities.

I definitely see what you mean about the key is  in reducing the frequency, not maintaining a streak. I guess that?s why I feel quite indifferent about the last PMO. After thinking about this a bit, I?ve decided to jot down 20 days as the next goal, followed by the aspiration of 40 days. That being said I?d love to get to 40 but an intermediate goal sounds like a good idea!

On the GF front, things are a little dry, but otherwise going well. It?s been about a week and a half since sex and intimacy has also been more sparse, but we?re still having a good time. I?m not feeling overly intimate over the recent few days for whatever reason, so I?m not really bothered as these things go naturally up and down, as well as the fact that we haven?t had a lot of actual alone time. She hasn?t done the dishes for a few days (I cook, she cleans) and I?m going to have to rouse her after asking her nicely a few times but that be should fine.

Still, I feel as if her effort is beginning to trail off a little in both intimacy and responsibility, but I?m sure it?s just the last few days and that things will be fine again soon.

MO every 2-3 days or so. Getting a bit bored in general too...

Cheers lads



Seems I?ve lost a lot of my sexual desire.

I get hard but I don?t have an urge to masturbate. I?m still being affectionate towards my gf, but have no sexual desire there at all, unless she acted upon me first. She seems more than content to leave that area alone though, and it?s been probably over 2 weeks now. She goes onto her period in a few days too. Historically that means no sexual activity at all between us, so I?ve got a feeling it?s going to be at least another week or so before she considers that part of the relationship again.

I feel somewhat in despair about this, most notably about the absence of sex. A part of me really wants to wait for my GF to show me any signs of sexual interest. Normally I just end up getting horny and instigate sex anyway, but I have a feeling this disinterest might stick around for a bit longer, as it?s been a week and I don?t feel a whole lot different. Not entirely sure if that?s a healthy option but it doesn?t seem to be causing us any troubles at the moment.

From what I?ve read and experienced before, this is just a flatline. Goes away soon enough, and we?ll see how things are when that happens.

I?ve had moments where I?ve wanted porn, even just to feel aroused again. But I know if my real girl can?t (or won?t) turn me on currently, it?s not worth it. Stick to the goal I say.

At a week towards the second goal, which feels good.

Wouldn?t mind some advice about all this fellas.


Hey man!

Yup, you are just going through a flatline. Good old normal stuff. You shouldn't worry about it too much.

By the way, have you shared this with your gf? I.e does she know you are trying to quit porn?
And along the same line, have you two talked about the whole sex issue? I mean, "issue" as in all the things you're feeling around it.

If the answer is no to any of those, you probably should set apart a while (might take a good long while) and get into a safe conversation with her. Tell her everything.

In fact, while we're at it, I'm going to go on a bit of a tangent that might help you:

You probably have done a few things to her that you don't feel too good about. You probably have hidden a few things from her, that you shouldn't have. Some of these might be minor things. Super-minor in fact. Some of them might be big. And odds are she has some "baggage" of her own in this aspect.

Btw I'm not evaluating your relationship at all. This is something pretty much EVERY relationship has going, except MAYBE a select few.

So sit her down, create a safe environment, set some rules for the conversation (this is not a conversation for blaming and shaming. No-one gets angry, and if you do, you go take some fresh air, come back, and keep talking through everything), and TELL HER EVERYTHING. The goal is simply to unload your chest and your conscience, so don't focus on how you have been wronged, but on everything you have done to her. Get it all out. And after you're finished, you can ask her if she wants to tell you anything.

She might do the same thing, she might not. But you've gotten your stuff out into the room. And now that it's out, if there's something that needs work, you can just work on it.

This is a thing that saved my parents' relationship almost twenty years ago. As my dad puts it, "He was no longer waking up besides the princess he married. He was waking up besides a witch, and he saw her every flaw."

Oddly enough, the reason we focus on the flaws of people, and eventually even start hating them, is not what they have done to us... Is what WE have done to THEM.

When you wrong someone that doesn't deserve it (you arrive late by accident, or something of that sort), you feel like shit. And in order to feel better you can do one of two things: 1. you can either bring it up and solve it, or 2. find some reason that justifies why they deserved to be wronged. Most people choose the second option. And now that they've found a reason why the other person deserves to be wronged, they do it again... And this can start REALLY SMALL, as in "oh, she came late this other time two years ago", and end up REALLY BIG, as in "She's a b*tch anyways"... And believe me, it sometimes gets really out of hand.

It's a vicious cycle. You might not be in it (You should see for yourself if it is the case), but many, many people are. And this is the main reason why relationships go bad SO OFTEN nowadays.

Anyways, I got a bit poetic there, but see if this resonates with you. It can do wonders sometimes.

Looking forward to your response!


Here I am

Hey amigos, it's been a week and I've come off of a pretty bad binge. I've been in a pretty terrible place, my mental health has taken a dive, I've been unproductive and it's all been wearing off on my relationship a bit too.

I'm really keen to lift myself out of this rut though and I've come back on here. I'm eager to replace this boredom and lack of responsibility with action and fostering healthy hobbies and habits again. I've made a to do list and I've got some great hobbies like music, art and reading to keep me occupied until I leave for a vacation. When I get back I'll be applying for a job.

DamienP said:
By the way, have you shared this with your gf? I.e does she know you are trying to quit porn?
And along the same line, have you two talked about the whole sex issue? I mean, "issue" as in all the things you're feeling around it.

Yeah I have told her all about the porn thing. She's known it ever since we started dating and has helped me through a few rough times. She doesn't tend to ask about it, but I told her about the most recent binge I had and how I've been down in the dumps.

We've also had a lot of conversations about feelings and sex, some not great. The relationship hit a boiling point about 2 months ago where there was little communication between us and a lot of focus on negatives, but we brought things back together and made the decision to be open with one another and move forward together. It has something that's been greatly improving over the last little while. After I made the last post, she approached me for sex too. I have also been honest with her that it didn't feel great because of the flatline though.

Over the past few weeks, she's been on a journey to become a more self-initiated person. She's doing lots of work on her book, she's suggested walks, going to cinemas, going to the park for volleyball, she's become more romantically intimate and even asked me for sex. I'm happy for her and about the progress she's making and I want to support her as she continues on this path. She's never really approached me for sex before either which is great.

That being said, I can still develop negative feelings, such as being unhappy with the amount of sexual energy and it's a great reminder for me to talk to her about these. Thank you for that reminder Damien! Patience and sacrifice are important for helping her through this, but honesty and intimacy are still just as important.


I can't wait to start moving in a positive direction again and becoming a more productive person. She comes off her period soon and we have a whole holiday planned together which is both going to be super awesome for us as a couple.

See you soon dudes!


Hey man!

I won't get too deep on this one, but I still want to say that I've been there, and it's tough. I have had my own bad streaks a good few times now, but as much as they suck, they are a part of the process. And as they say, emotion is about contrasts. If you don't properly feel the lows, you won't really be able to enjoy the highs.

Work through it and you'll eventually get out. I'm also glad that things seem to be going fairly well with your gf.

Anyways, stay strong, and I look forward to hearing about you again!


Over a year later but I'm back on the horse again. I'll keep this short.

I will get rid of porn. The first goal to smash is to be clean for the next month until I turn 21.

Wish me luck on changing my life for the better


I've developed a skin condition that I've had to go to the doctors about and it has been waking me up in the night with the irritation. I'm also getting an STI test done soon because of the irritation on my genitals. I feel anxious about the results of both, despite the doctors recommendations and having safe sex with all but a FWB who was tested and clean.

I also discovered that my FWB had slept (safely) with another guy since her last test and that felt like a kick in the gut; although I appreciate her honesty for our safety. I previously had cut off the sex part of our relationship- on good terms- because I was getting attached (I don't want a relationship for a while). But the thought of her being with someone else, even now, makes me feel like shit.

I need to swallow my feelings about this. She is not mine, she was not mine and I can't ask her to commit to me as I do not want to commit to anyone at this point in my life.

I haven't felt this attracted to someone in a long while, but I know that there are plenty of girls out there and that I need to prioritse my own self improvement for the time being.

I have continuously been dependent on validation from women and it has caused me to make some shitty decisions and form some bad habits. It has pulled me away from what is important to me. This is a time for change so I can develop my health/fitness, my grades, my musical abilities and my finances.

Despite my worries and whatever the results, I will be okay. I will thrive. I'm excited to start Judo at Uni next week and to work at my bar on the weekend.

Going to knock out a productive night of work, peace.