W4tchmak3r
Member
Well hello again, Reboot Nation.
I first found this site back in 2013 when I was 13 years old (makes me going on 20 now). Still the same orange banners and web design... guess some things don?t change.
First off, what am I doing here?
This is going to be a journal of sorts for myself, like many others on here with the bonus of being able to share my journey as well as interact with and learn with others. My goal: to move away from the bad habit of porn and to become ?not the kind of guy who watches porn?.
Secondly, what brought me here?
I knew about RN a while ago, but came back because of this article https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/how-to-quit-porn/
Some recommended reading for you. You know, as a complete stranger whom you know nothing about I can assure you it?s good stuff.**
**Actually, I?ve come and gone through RN before and I know most of the hardships here, particularly guilt and pressure. This article was great for me in regards to mindset and ultimately brought me back here in a hopeful way after 6 years.
Thirdly, time for my (somewhat) condensed life story:
The past:
Started googling nude images on parents computer behind their backs at about age 7, confessed a few times and a net filtering service got put on the PC?s by parents. Mostly helped things, I looked for loopholes and eventually I got my iPod touch in 2012ish. Prepubescent curiosity ran rampant and I was watching porn a LOT, feeling really guilty and continuing on this cycle. I discovered masturbation, my first one was a PMO and started masturbating an average of twice a day, with PMO most of the time.
There was always a lot of guilt about porn with me. When educating myself online about porn at 13, I decided to ?self diagnose? myself with Porn Addiction and Delayed Ejaculation Syndrome*. I found RN and joined with a no MO/PMO goal and had a journal then too.
It was probably the most brutal 6 months of my youth. It caused more damage than it helped. Puberty was really kicking in, my sex drive was in overdrive and I put myself through hell trying and failing to abstain from not just porn but my natural needs and desires. I was seriously crashing and burning as. 13 year old in many areas of my life. Eventually, my Dad had to sit me down and tell me it was okay to watch porn and that I wasn?t an ?addict?.
I quit RN, I quit trying to quit. Not because I?d ?failed? but because it?s what I needed at the time.
I stopped believing I was ?sick? and that instead I had an unhealthy habit that I needed to keep in moderation, to not let it interfere with the important things in life such as study or relationships (not just romantic).
I had an overall neutral relationship with porn from that point forward. There?s certainly been ups and downs, times where I felt indifferent, times where I really liked it, times where I?ve overindulged and many times where I tried and failed to quit. It just was a bad habit that got me sometimes, but I dealt with it and moved on.
*Oh and just so I actually address it -for me- the whole delayed ejaculation at 13 year?s old was a sham. Whether it?s premature or delayed, when you?re discovering assisted orgasm for the first time, things rarely go smoothly. in fact, me being super worried that I was ?disabled? while experimenting at that age was probably the main thing that ?held me back?. Sure, I was able to relax/get off to porn and wiring my brain to it was NOT a good thing, but in hindsight it was a minuscule factor. Porn-induced delayed ejaculation IS a legit thing, but bros please be careful about labelling yourself when you?re inexperienced because it absolutely caused me more harm than good.
At 16, I lost my virginity and overcame my ?chronic nervousness? to my long term girlfriend who I?m still with. I have had a wonderful sexual journey with her so far and porn has been a very minor player in the health of that aspect of the relationship.
The now:
Zip bam boom, we?re here now. Same girlfriend, 19 years old and I PMO an average of once a day. Being an ever hopeful young person, I?m at a place in my life where if I want a change, I make it happen for myself. Thusly, I have been in a state of indecision for a little while about whether porn is actually a bad habit for me and if it?s worth kicking. Particularly considering the mental onslaught ?Rebooting? took me down last time.
Oddly enough, this wasn?t a New Years resolution. It was just me not enjoying sneaking into the bathroom at midnight and then doing some research as to if I should quit and how I could do it.
The biggest change?
Read the website I sent dude. Also thanks for reading this far, I hope you brought popcorn when you started.
I read it. I discovered this thing is a simply bad habit, and just like any other I can kick it. Sure it?s related to addiction, but I?m not scared of it like that anymore. I?m not giving it that power over me or that fear. Ultimately, I?m going from the type of guy who watches porn, to the type of guy who doesn?t watch porn. I?m treating porn like junk food, and I?m just not eating it because it?s bad for me.
~~~~~~~~~~
I?m not sure how often I?ll be updating this journal, but I imagine I?ll try to be active for those with questions and as I continue my journey learning about porn and our wonderful minds. There?s a bunch of tips and strategies that I?ve learned in my experience with reboot that I?ll be critically re-using and I?ll probably mention them when I add to this topic, but for now that?s enough waffle from me.
Just wanted to finish by saying that my biggest thing is not giving porn a place of fear in your life. This should be a healthy and guilt free change to the way I do things In life. Simple as avoiding junk food. The word recovery is too negative for me, so this is just a journey to a better me.
It?s nice to be back among friends, let?s make our lives better together amigos.
(Exaunt)
I first found this site back in 2013 when I was 13 years old (makes me going on 20 now). Still the same orange banners and web design... guess some things don?t change.
First off, what am I doing here?
This is going to be a journal of sorts for myself, like many others on here with the bonus of being able to share my journey as well as interact with and learn with others. My goal: to move away from the bad habit of porn and to become ?not the kind of guy who watches porn?.
Secondly, what brought me here?
I knew about RN a while ago, but came back because of this article https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/how-to-quit-porn/
Some recommended reading for you. You know, as a complete stranger whom you know nothing about I can assure you it?s good stuff.**
**Actually, I?ve come and gone through RN before and I know most of the hardships here, particularly guilt and pressure. This article was great for me in regards to mindset and ultimately brought me back here in a hopeful way after 6 years.
Thirdly, time for my (somewhat) condensed life story:
The past:
Started googling nude images on parents computer behind their backs at about age 7, confessed a few times and a net filtering service got put on the PC?s by parents. Mostly helped things, I looked for loopholes and eventually I got my iPod touch in 2012ish. Prepubescent curiosity ran rampant and I was watching porn a LOT, feeling really guilty and continuing on this cycle. I discovered masturbation, my first one was a PMO and started masturbating an average of twice a day, with PMO most of the time.
There was always a lot of guilt about porn with me. When educating myself online about porn at 13, I decided to ?self diagnose? myself with Porn Addiction and Delayed Ejaculation Syndrome*. I found RN and joined with a no MO/PMO goal and had a journal then too.
It was probably the most brutal 6 months of my youth. It caused more damage than it helped. Puberty was really kicking in, my sex drive was in overdrive and I put myself through hell trying and failing to abstain from not just porn but my natural needs and desires. I was seriously crashing and burning as. 13 year old in many areas of my life. Eventually, my Dad had to sit me down and tell me it was okay to watch porn and that I wasn?t an ?addict?.
I quit RN, I quit trying to quit. Not because I?d ?failed? but because it?s what I needed at the time.
I stopped believing I was ?sick? and that instead I had an unhealthy habit that I needed to keep in moderation, to not let it interfere with the important things in life such as study or relationships (not just romantic).
I had an overall neutral relationship with porn from that point forward. There?s certainly been ups and downs, times where I felt indifferent, times where I really liked it, times where I?ve overindulged and many times where I tried and failed to quit. It just was a bad habit that got me sometimes, but I dealt with it and moved on.
*Oh and just so I actually address it -for me- the whole delayed ejaculation at 13 year?s old was a sham. Whether it?s premature or delayed, when you?re discovering assisted orgasm for the first time, things rarely go smoothly. in fact, me being super worried that I was ?disabled? while experimenting at that age was probably the main thing that ?held me back?. Sure, I was able to relax/get off to porn and wiring my brain to it was NOT a good thing, but in hindsight it was a minuscule factor. Porn-induced delayed ejaculation IS a legit thing, but bros please be careful about labelling yourself when you?re inexperienced because it absolutely caused me more harm than good.
At 16, I lost my virginity and overcame my ?chronic nervousness? to my long term girlfriend who I?m still with. I have had a wonderful sexual journey with her so far and porn has been a very minor player in the health of that aspect of the relationship.
The now:
Zip bam boom, we?re here now. Same girlfriend, 19 years old and I PMO an average of once a day. Being an ever hopeful young person, I?m at a place in my life where if I want a change, I make it happen for myself. Thusly, I have been in a state of indecision for a little while about whether porn is actually a bad habit for me and if it?s worth kicking. Particularly considering the mental onslaught ?Rebooting? took me down last time.
Oddly enough, this wasn?t a New Years resolution. It was just me not enjoying sneaking into the bathroom at midnight and then doing some research as to if I should quit and how I could do it.
The biggest change?
Read the website I sent dude. Also thanks for reading this far, I hope you brought popcorn when you started.
I read it. I discovered this thing is a simply bad habit, and just like any other I can kick it. Sure it?s related to addiction, but I?m not scared of it like that anymore. I?m not giving it that power over me or that fear. Ultimately, I?m going from the type of guy who watches porn, to the type of guy who doesn?t watch porn. I?m treating porn like junk food, and I?m just not eating it because it?s bad for me.
~~~~~~~~~~
I?m not sure how often I?ll be updating this journal, but I imagine I?ll try to be active for those with questions and as I continue my journey learning about porn and our wonderful minds. There?s a bunch of tips and strategies that I?ve learned in my experience with reboot that I?ll be critically re-using and I?ll probably mention them when I add to this topic, but for now that?s enough waffle from me.
Just wanted to finish by saying that my biggest thing is not giving porn a place of fear in your life. This should be a healthy and guilt free change to the way I do things In life. Simple as avoiding junk food. The word recovery is too negative for me, so this is just a journey to a better me.
It?s nice to be back among friends, let?s make our lives better together amigos.
(Exaunt)