fresh start...

CloseToToast

Active Member
Hope your day is going well @OrangeSpider! The above listing is a great reflection on what beyond beating Porn Addition you aspire to do. 6 absolutely amazing focuses that will bring you so much positivity. And guess what?

You can give yourself a check mark for number 5 in that list
I want to not just go day by day, I want to thing and reflect upon what happened, I don't want to be mindless, I want to be introspective; for that I need to journal and reflect.

And i dont mean just by posting here journaling. Which we know can be a huge asset daily/every so often. I mean by directing your thoughts and energy into something bigger than not PMO'ing, you did reflect upon yourself, what you want, what a better you looks like. You just gave yourself the introspective you just wrote that you longed for.

You might be asking yourself but how can I start? That list is a big list? How can i do anything but try to focus on not PMO'ing.

That is exactly what you do, start by focusing on something else. You need something that is not the conditioned dopamine spike of PMO. Something from that list. Something that will bring you momentum, a feeling of accomplishment, that will kick start a new you. This new you will become so powerful that PMO becomes a life lesson from your past. I dont mean stop fighting the PMO all together, but in this fragile time for you, only you know your limits. You most likely cant progress at all 6 of the above or it would be very hard to do. But trying to keep running against the wall of only no PMO my be the wrong approach. When you need to start building yourself a ladder one positive rung at a time so that you can climb over that wall and look at it as it fades away in your past.

I promise you, by you fighting as hard as you have so far, even with its ups and downs, and that you havent stopped. It means that you can accomplish anything. Perhaps just try something a little different.

What is one thing from that list that will help everything else? Exercise. One of the best exercises you can do does not need equipment or specific clothes, or a gym, or money. That is a walk. A simple walk. For as long as you can, even if that is only 5 minutes the first day. You could also invite your family along or if the kids are older, that could be positive bonding time with your wife. Or for now this is your thing, just your 5 minutes a day to be outside not on a phone, to breath, let out anger, listen to music, insert whatever here :)

(If walks are not possible i apologize as using this as an example, its hard to know everyone's circumstances, life etc.)

My point is walking 5minutes outside or inside on a treadmill minutes every day for 3 to 5 days to start. Then increase it to 10minutes every day for a week. then 20 minutes a day every day for the next week and so on to whatever degree you wish. I bet that if you promised yourself to do something like that, simple, controllable, hard to not steer away from. Not such a anguished battle as only doing no PMO, that after 2 weeks you will start to feel something build, physically and mentally. Something small but positive that is yours. You may find its the momentum you need to begin successes in every aspect of your life including no PMO permanently. or it makes no PMO easier as your energy is also being spent on positive things instead of a fight 100% of the time.

If you find that to work or something like that (whatever you chose to begin with, doesnt have to be exercise.) Then you can add small things to go with it piece by piece month after month. Before you know it, its 6 months from now, half your list is being worked on, you are a new you and you havent PMO'd for at least 4 straight months or better.
 

OrangeSpider

Active Member
Hope your day is going well @OrangeSpider! The above listing is a great reflection on what beyond beating Porn Addition you aspire to do. 6 absolutely amazing focuses that will bring you so much positivity. And guess what?

You can give yourself a check mark for number 5 in that list


And i dont mean just by posting here journaling. Which we know can be a huge asset daily/every so often. I mean by directing your thoughts and energy into something bigger than not PMO'ing, you did reflect upon yourself, what you want, what a better you looks like. You just gave yourself the introspective you just wrote that you longed for.

You might be asking yourself but how can I start? That list is a big list? How can i do anything but try to focus on not PMO'ing.

That is exactly what you do, start by focusing on something else. You need something that is not the conditioned dopamine spike of PMO. Something from that list. Something that will bring you momentum, a feeling of accomplishment, that will kick start a new you. This new you will become so powerful that PMO becomes a life lesson from your past. I dont mean stop fighting the PMO all together, but in this fragile time for you, only you know your limits. You most likely cant progress at all 6 of the above or it would be very hard to do. But trying to keep running against the wall of only no PMO my be the wrong approach. When you need to start building yourself a ladder one positive rung at a time so that you can climb over that wall and look at it as it fades away in your past.

I promise you, by you fighting as hard as you have so far, even with its ups and downs, and that you havent stopped. It means that you can accomplish anything. Perhaps just try something a little different.

What is one thing from that list that will help everything else? Exercise. One of the best exercises you can do does not need equipment or specific clothes, or a gym, or money. That is a walk. A simple walk. For as long as you can, even if that is only 5 minutes the first day. You could also invite your family along or if the kids are older, that could be positive bonding time with your wife. Or for now this is your thing, just your 5 minutes a day to be outside not on a phone, to breath, let out anger, listen to music, insert whatever here :)

(If walks are not possible i apologize as using this as an example, its hard to know everyone's circumstances, life etc.)

My point is walking 5minutes outside or inside on a treadmill minutes every day for 3 to 5 days to start. Then increase it to 10minutes every day for a week. then 20 minutes a day every day for the next week and so on to whatever degree you wish. I bet that if you promised yourself to do something like that, simple, controllable, hard to not steer away from. Not such a anguished battle as only doing no PMO, that after 2 weeks you will start to feel something build, physically and mentally. Something small but positive that is yours. You may find its the momentum you need to begin successes in every aspect of your life including no PMO permanently. or it makes no PMO easier as your energy is also being spent on positive things instead of a fight 100% of the time.

If you find that to work or something like that (whatever you chose to begin with, doesnt have to be exercise.) Then you can add small things to go with it piece by piece month after month. Before you know it, its 6 months from now, half your list is being worked on, you are a new you and you havent PMO'd for at least 4 straight months or better.
Thanks WTT for your reflection, well considered response and time. I have started to run for 30 min a day, last week I went for 3 days, my intention is to do it more regularly and it does make me feel better, not only accomplished, but also the physical/emotional effect it leaves in me the rest of the day. I will focus on continue this small change and consider how I can build that next rung into it.
 

OrangeSpider

Active Member
almost at day 7

I apologize for the momentary absence, life has been busy. I have been careful in not stuffing myself with artificiality, I have been reading, working, playing with my kids, meditating, running, gardening, bbq with friends, fun with my wife; really trying to enjoy the present moment in the most healthy way. Still grab my phone to scroll social media or to just check my emails, its gonna take me a while to overcome this totally, but I think I beginning to see the benefits of it. It's obviously too early to call any real changes, but I'm excited of the prospects of it. I still have not done any journaling, I want to incorporate that at the end of the day, but I am so tired at that time that it's difficult for me to do it. But I have accomplished allot already, so I don't want to have too many coals in the fire burning at the same time, I got to be patient and realistic.

I created this counter online that shows me how many days I have gone. Im not sure if it is helpful or not yet, but at least for now it kind shows me where I am at and I talk to myself saying that I do not want to loose that progress. For now it has been helpful to see that, to remind myself of my sobriety date (18AUG2022)
Screen Shot 2022-08-24 at 6.31.57 AM.png

I hope you guys are doing well, as Bill & Ted would say: party on dudes and be excellent!
 

CloseToToast

Active Member
almost at day 7

I apologize for the momentary absence, life has been busy. I have been careful in not stuffing myself with artificiality, I have been reading, working, playing with my kids, meditating, running, gardening, bbq with friends, fun with my wife; really trying to enjoy the present moment in the most healthy way. Still grab my phone to scroll social media or to just check my emails, its gonna take me a while to overcome this totally, but I think I beginning to see the benefits of it. It's obviously too early to call any real changes, but I'm excited of the prospects of it. I still have not done any journaling, I want to incorporate that at the end of the day, but I am so tired at that time that it's difficult for me to do it. But I have accomplished allot already, so I don't want to have too many coals in the fire burning at the same time, I got to be patient and realistic.

I created this counter online that shows me how many days I have gone. Im not sure if it is helpful or not yet, but at least for now it kind shows me where I am at and I talk to myself saying that I do not want to loose that progress. For now it has been helpful to see that, to remind myself of my sobriety date (18AUG2022)
Screen Shot 2022-08-24 at 6.31.57 AM.png


I hope you guys are doing well, as Bill & Ted would say: party on dudes and be excellent!

Absolutely amazing @OrangeSpider!!!!!!!! Congrats on Day 7 and even more so for the excellent reflection on your last week. I hope every present moment you spent filled you with everything you needed and helps push you to keep moving forward day to day :) You are right, do what you can when you can, being patient and pacing yourself can be a challenge but you are approaching it the right way. Week after week you will be able to add a little more and more!

I still work on the putting the phone down and not spending a lot of time on Facebook or Youtube etc so i get you on that one!
 

OrangeSpider

Active Member
day 9
Almost had a slip yesterday morning. I did not do my morning routine (no screen time until meditation) and went online and as usual I first go on youtube just surging around, then I searched for images, not NSFW, but as close as posible, but then I opened my counter, started talking to myself and shut the computer off. The rest of the day I was too busy to go back to it. Today I did not go the same route, I was worried I might, but as soon as I woke up I got unto my routine. So far so good, I have a pretty busy day ahead, so I don't foresee any pitfalls.
Keep strong!
 

OrangeSpider

Active Member
Down back to day 3. Last Saturday I went AWOL. Regrouping myself right now, reconsidering my goals and refocusing myself in my interior so I can keep on the journey. The cause of the fall was mindlessness and anxiety, or better said, lack of discipline that lead to stress that lead to mindlessness and then to PMO. I am coming back to discipline so I can avoid this, and keep away from triggers, like endless scrolling through social media.
 

OrangeSpider

Active Member
day 8!

I have been incorporating better eating and a exercise routine, I think it helps me get in the right set of mind. This week has been going well, but yesterday it rained all day, so I did not go for a run; and I had a milkshake yesterday. That worries me, because one thing can lead to another. No temptations right now to search for P, but I want to be careful. Today I plan to get back on track on the healthy routine.

I don't want to end in a beat myself up note, I want to celebrate the accomplishment of making it to day 8.
 

Daybyday1988

Active Member
I have been incorporating better eating and a exercise routine, I think it helps me get in the right set of mind

be encouraged because this isn't just a thought of yours but actual science too! i read awhile back (i think on pmoflatline.com) that there was an 8 week study conducted with meth addicts that were abstaining from drug use and were able to raise dopamine receptor density levels several times over when compared to the other meth addicts in the study that did not moderately to heavily exercise.

way to go on day 8! the one week mark is a huge moral victory. one week soon becomes a month, which soon becomes 2, 6 9 and then a full year. nice job
 

OrangeSpider

Active Member
day 10.
Keeping myself busy with work and focusing on my family and getting more healthy. Been going for runs in the mornings and eating more healthy. already 5 pounds down. I know that if I give myself to P, I will become erratic again and wont find the focus to look at my family and my health.
I hope I can keep this momentum up.
 

OrangeSpider

Active Member
day 11,
Yesterday was another day full of work, so no chance to sneak and hide to consume trash. I enjoyed som moments with my kids that were gold; I did some birdwatching with my daughter, we saw a woodpecker peck the ground for some worms through some binoculars; My oldest son helped me clean up a shed and we had some good conversations. I need to be careful, I usually make it a week and go down in the middle of the second week. I do not see any signals of that happening right now, but it sure can, usually it jumps out of nowhere and bites me in the but. I need to be aware and careful. Im repeating to myself today, "not today", "I want to be free", "I want to enjoy, to really enjoy life and be truly happy".
 

OrangeSpider

Active Member
I went down on Saturday. I was anxious and overworked with some papers I have been working on for school and I needed a break I obviously took the wrong one, I thought about going for a run, but I was already at the computer, nobody was home and caved in. I need to learn to manage my stress and anxiety better. I have been going for runs in the morning and this has helped. I have to work on stepping away during the day before the build up is too much.

Today is day 4.
 
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