fresh start...

OrangeSpider

OrangeSpider

Active Member
Today marks a week. Not the greatest achievement, but who knows, knows it's something. I want to keep on hanging in there. My plan is to continue being responsible at every moment of the day, doing what Im supposed to do. Organizing my day and just doing what I have to do and taking breaks when its time to do so and getting my head off of things in a healthy way. And letting the joy and satisfaction of getting things done and being healthy be the wind in my sails. I also want to rely more on God to help me do this, I recognize I don't have what it takes and that I need help from someone beyond me, I suppose that's God, so I am asking help from Him directly.
I cross my fingers and hope this plan, though simple, will give me the boost I need to endure.
 
OrangeSpider

OrangeSpider

Active Member
I have been busy today at work, not much idle time, not much reflection time either. But I wanted to check in. Today my urges have been at a 2/10. What has helped to not give in has been, again, been too busy. I have not reflected on my values or goals, except for right now. Right now I know I do not want to give in, reasons are my family, my well being and my mental, emotional and social fitness.

Day 2
 
OrangeSpider

OrangeSpider

Active Member
Got off early from work. But have a few protective factors, Im at home and the whole family is here, kids have me busy. Just taking a quick break to check in. I can say today my urges have been at a 1/10. I do not feel to give in today, I want to continue sober and focused on my goals and being a better me.

Day 3
 
OrangeSpider

OrangeSpider

Active Member
Another typical day at work, moderately busy. Woke up late, so had no free time at home to waste in P. I heard someones testimony on how Alcohol ruined his life, he also mentioned P's part in it; and how he was sable to get back in track. I obviously thought about my journey with P. This motivated me to keep on recking on this journey.
Today my urges are the same as yesterday, pretty low. And I do not have any desire to give in today, I desire to continue being abstinent, I want to heal.

Day 4
 
OrangeSpider

OrangeSpider

Active Member
A bit emotionally dragging my feet today, but dont know why, gotta work on that. Other than that, feeling good for the fight. Urges are 1/10 today again. Gotta get ready though for the weekend!

Day 5
 
OrangeSpider

OrangeSpider

Active Member
Yesterday went well. Had a honey-to-do list to work on that kept me busy. During that I was reflecting on my motivations, which were all around me, the kids, the wife, the family; and just being present at home with them, enjoying them and enjoying what goes on; that was helpful. Today is only the beginning of this day, but I am saying to myself, not today, and reminding myself of the things I cherish. Later today we will go to church, I hope to hear or lear something that will help me as well. Urges are low, Hazards today are: this moment, its' early and Im already awake and on the web, while family is asleep. Safeties: Good reflection and looking forward to go to church.

Day 7
 
OrangeSpider

OrangeSpider

Active Member
Had a super busy day yesterday and could not put in an account, but It was a good day, urges super low and no close calls. Sunday went well also. Today all good; its still a bit early to call it, but I believe I will cruise on it as well. Im proud tomorrow I hit double digits!

Day 9
 
OrangeSpider

OrangeSpider

Active Member
I've been super busy at work, getting late at home and having no time to check in. Good thing is that I have been too busy for PMO. Downside is that I have not been very mindful of this journey. This morning I woke up a bit late to workout, but a bit early to start getting ready for work. I got some big urges, bud did not look for any P. Got busy with breakfast and did some meditation and left early for work to avoid anything worse. Right now I fee a bit in the dumps for letting that happen. But I need to be realistic and recognize that this is part of the journey as well. As well celebrate that I did not slip. I'm also worried that I might have weakened my commitment with considering the urges and thoughts. I really hope not. I will continue to remind myself the reasons I am doing this.

Day 12
 
OrangeSpider

OrangeSpider

Active Member
Still in the fight! Yesterday was a super busy family day, no time for shit. Today I woke up super early and wasted a whole hour watching Instagram reels. I was trying to find erotic ones, the ones with sleazy girls jumping without a bra. All the time telling myself, this is not good. I saw a few, but then moved on to do breakfast. I need to curb this bad habit as well. I know it's a doorway to P and then MO. How do you guys manage that? I think Im kinda addicted to using my phone every downtime I have, you know that dopamine/scrolling thing. Anybody else struggle with that? Any suggestions? Kids are up already, so no more of that. And today sounds like it will be another full day like yesterday, so I think I will be good from here on today. Im kinda worried Im putting minefields in my journey by having this unsafe behavior. I know I have read on this forum, that when you go down the reboot journey you not only quit PMO, but you learn about allot of other things in your life that need fixing as well. Well, Im discovering allot of those along the way.

Day 14
 
L

logicprox

Well-Known Member
I deleted Instagram for the first few weeks of my current streak. Hard to scroll it if you don't have it. Any app you use for dopamine scrolling, I would say delete it at least for a while.

It also helped me early on (and honestly I should probably go back to it) to leave my phone in another room and not even have it on me. There's going to be an urge to go get it to see if "anything happened" (it didn't). I set a timer for like 30-45 minutes and just said I'm not going to check it until that goes off.

Nice work on 14 days.
 
Androg

Androg

Administrator
Admin
Moderator
You are right to be concerned about over using your phone. For most people, a major element of porn addiction is Internet phone addiction.

Porn substitutes are also a problem, just as you suspect.

The addiction seems to be closely tied to the urge to look for novel, information or images. So, if you want to heal, take the good advice of Logicprox.
 
OrangeSpider

OrangeSpider

Active Member
Here we go again, beginning of the year, want to get over this at almost 40. I had a nice streak before the year ended and the first 3 days, but went down yesterday and today. I was off from work and the lack of routine killed me.

Day 0
 
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