WinkTinkTillium
Active Member
Hope your day is going well @OrangeSpider! The above listing is a great reflection on what beyond beating Porn Addition you aspire to do. 6 absolutely amazing focuses that will bring you so much positivity. And guess what?
You can give yourself a check mark for number 5 in that list
And i dont mean just by posting here journaling. Which we know can be a huge asset daily/every so often. I mean by directing your thoughts and energy into something bigger than not PMO'ing, you did reflect upon yourself, what you want, what a better you looks like. You just gave yourself the introspective you just wrote that you longed for.
You might be asking yourself but how can I start? That list is a big list? How can i do anything but try to focus on not PMO'ing.
That is exactly what you do, start by focusing on something else. You need something that is not the conditioned dopamine spike of PMO. Something from that list. Something that will bring you momentum, a feeling of accomplishment, that will kick start a new you. This new you will become so powerful that PMO becomes a life lesson from your past. I dont mean stop fighting the PMO all together, but in this fragile time for you, only you know your limits. You most likely cant progress at all 6 of the above or it would be very hard to do. But trying to keep running against the wall of only no PMO my be the wrong approach. When you need to start building yourself a ladder one positive rung at a time so that you can climb over that wall and look at it as it fades away in your past.
I promise you, by you fighting as hard as you have so far, even with its ups and downs, and that you havent stopped. It means that you can accomplish anything. Perhaps just try something a little different.
What is one thing from that list that will help everything else? Exercise. One of the best exercises you can do does not need equipment or specific clothes, or a gym, or money. That is a walk. A simple walk. For as long as you can, even if that is only 5 minutes the first day. You could also invite your family along or if the kids are older, that could be positive bonding time with your wife. Or for now this is your thing, just your 5 minutes a day to be outside not on a phone, to breath, let out anger, listen to music, insert whatever here
(If walks are not possible i apologize as using this as an example, its hard to know everyone's circumstances, life etc.)
My point is walking 5minutes outside or inside on a treadmill minutes every day for 3 to 5 days to start. Then increase it to 10minutes every day for a week. then 20 minutes a day every day for the next week and so on to whatever degree you wish. I bet that if you promised yourself to do something like that, simple, controllable, hard to not steer away from. Not such a anguished battle as only doing no PMO, that after 2 weeks you will start to feel something build, physically and mentally. Something small but positive that is yours. You may find its the momentum you need to begin successes in every aspect of your life including no PMO permanently. or it makes no PMO easier as your energy is also being spent on positive things instead of a fight 100% of the time.
If you find that to work or something like that (whatever you chose to begin with, doesnt have to be exercise.) Then you can add small things to go with it piece by piece month after month. Before you know it, its 6 months from now, half your list is being worked on, you are a new you and you havent PMO'd for at least 4 straight months or better.
You can give yourself a check mark for number 5 in that list
I want to not just go day by day, I want to thing and reflect upon what happened, I don't want to be mindless, I want to be introspective; for that I need to journal and reflect.
And i dont mean just by posting here journaling. Which we know can be a huge asset daily/every so often. I mean by directing your thoughts and energy into something bigger than not PMO'ing, you did reflect upon yourself, what you want, what a better you looks like. You just gave yourself the introspective you just wrote that you longed for.
You might be asking yourself but how can I start? That list is a big list? How can i do anything but try to focus on not PMO'ing.
That is exactly what you do, start by focusing on something else. You need something that is not the conditioned dopamine spike of PMO. Something from that list. Something that will bring you momentum, a feeling of accomplishment, that will kick start a new you. This new you will become so powerful that PMO becomes a life lesson from your past. I dont mean stop fighting the PMO all together, but in this fragile time for you, only you know your limits. You most likely cant progress at all 6 of the above or it would be very hard to do. But trying to keep running against the wall of only no PMO my be the wrong approach. When you need to start building yourself a ladder one positive rung at a time so that you can climb over that wall and look at it as it fades away in your past.
I promise you, by you fighting as hard as you have so far, even with its ups and downs, and that you havent stopped. It means that you can accomplish anything. Perhaps just try something a little different.
What is one thing from that list that will help everything else? Exercise. One of the best exercises you can do does not need equipment or specific clothes, or a gym, or money. That is a walk. A simple walk. For as long as you can, even if that is only 5 minutes the first day. You could also invite your family along or if the kids are older, that could be positive bonding time with your wife. Or for now this is your thing, just your 5 minutes a day to be outside not on a phone, to breath, let out anger, listen to music, insert whatever here
(If walks are not possible i apologize as using this as an example, its hard to know everyone's circumstances, life etc.)
My point is walking 5minutes outside or inside on a treadmill minutes every day for 3 to 5 days to start. Then increase it to 10minutes every day for a week. then 20 minutes a day every day for the next week and so on to whatever degree you wish. I bet that if you promised yourself to do something like that, simple, controllable, hard to not steer away from. Not such a anguished battle as only doing no PMO, that after 2 weeks you will start to feel something build, physically and mentally. Something small but positive that is yours. You may find its the momentum you need to begin successes in every aspect of your life including no PMO permanently. or it makes no PMO easier as your energy is also being spent on positive things instead of a fight 100% of the time.
If you find that to work or something like that (whatever you chose to begin with, doesnt have to be exercise.) Then you can add small things to go with it piece by piece month after month. Before you know it, its 6 months from now, half your list is being worked on, you are a new you and you havent PMO'd for at least 4 straight months or better.