Guys,... I screwed up.

[iektop]

I've reseted my counter to 0 days without PMO. Today was my 8th day without PMO and I ruined it.

Cravings were just so strong. I even had a wet dream last night. And today was the worst of all days so far. I've fighting all day to logic me out of the desire to watch porn and I lost the battle.... but not the war.

I was doing so well without the PMO thing. Mental clarity is coming back. I've been excercising and eating healthy for the past 9 days or so. I even had a great weekend... went to the beach, got in contact with nature to distract myself and enjoy life.  Hell, I've even been feeling like my confidence is coming back to me at a slow but steady pace. I can see it in my posture when walking on the streets.

Yesterday I went to get a haircut. I like to practice positive thinking or keeping my mind silent for as much as I can. While I was on my way to the barbershop, I saw a cutie coming in the opposite direction to mine and suddenly I felt a little shy. In the past I wouldn't even acknowledge or make eye contact with a cutie in that same situation.... obviously because of lack of confidence. But since I've been 'detoxing' from PMO I've been making a conscious effort to act different in situations like the one above where I'm just feeling like a little frightened kitty that doesn't know what to do. Well, in that very moment I was feeling insecure and I thought to myself 'Why are you feeling like this? It's okay if you feel nervous but you've gotta realize it's not worth it and it's ridiculous. YOU KNOW you want to smile to her,...... you're just nervous about what she'll think of you or if she'll just think you're creepy or pretend she's angry or something and make you feel bad

Well, guess what I did? I thought 'Fuck this. She's a cutie and I want to smile to her. Nothing bad will happen, no matter what. Do it man. DO IT.' And... I SMILED TO HER!!And she SHE SMILED BACK!!!!!!!!!!

I made eye contact and I smiled to her. I didn't chicken out because I realized there was and there is no reason to.

IT WAS AMAZING. I FELT LIKE A KING. I CAN'T EVEN DESCRIBE HOW IT FEELS BEING VALIDATED BY THE FLIRTATIOUS SMILE OF A GIRL/WOMAN YOU FIND BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!

Her smile was so welcoming and beautiful..... Man, it felt good. It felt good.

After failing today at trying to fight  my impulses I realize I need to harness my sexual drive in a different way. There must be a better way than just enduring the pressure and horniness. I'll come up with something 'cause this shit won't win the war. We are men, we build the world. We're strong. We're smart. We can overcome this PMO shit. I know it's very tought for us guys to do it but I'm realizing this porn shit ain't real. It's just and idea. And idea made up by our brains.

Right now I feel like I want to hit myself in the head with a brick or something for being so dumb. I'm feeling a little angry and dissapointed but it'll pass. 

I don't know yet what's the best way to definitely leave this PMO thing behind but I'll come up with something. Any ideas you guys have are welcomed. I want positive and revolutionary ideas.



Peace!

p.s English is not my native language -spanish is - so tell me what parts you don't understand.

 

[dwenjang1218]

Hey man don't beat yourself up.
Learn from the mistakes and try again until you succeed.

If I were in your situation, I would have masturbated without porn (that's what I did at first).
I don't think the majority of the people would agree to this method,
but when you are trying to change your lifestyle too drastically, it can become really stressful.
M without P not the best method, but it's the second best method.
It's most likely going to slow down your rebooting process, but it sure beats watching porn.

If you are planning to use this method, be sure to stop yourself from fantasizing about porn while you M.
Try your best to clear your head of any naughty thoughts.

 

[Partingglass]

Don't worry about it too much man. There are so many guys going Hard mode and acting like its the only way, and there is nothing wrong with that if it works for them, but its not the only way.  Think of it like this, a month is 30 days, you went 8 without PMO, you PMO once then you go another eight days, so in the 30 days you PMO'd 3-4 times, as opposed to PMOing 30-90 times in the same 30 days. That is a huge improvement man and you will see amazing results! Keep it up and your reboot will fly by!