Jixu: Yes there is something of a return back to normal as you say, but somewhat subdued? Like that awkward moment when people tentatively dancr in tune to the first song of the evening...
LIGA: Wow, it's been a while I haven't heard from you, but glad to see that things are going well from the sound of it! I like your perspective on the overall downer effect the pandemic has had on most people, it resonates a lot with me, especially in light of the strange acts and transgressions we've seen in the hit and runs, arson, random shootings, 'bad-boy' showdowns... in this corner of the world. And also that bit about the changing neurochemistry. But maybe as I get older, those romantic feelings also come by in sparser amounts compared to 10 years ago? Still I won't say never, there's always a story to be found about people in their 50s and 60s finding love against all odds!
Finally, a quick update:
After 3 months of being free of porn, I unfortunately suffered a slip last night, so I'm resetting to day 0. I felt the train of thoughts preceding it, it certainly was avoidable, but a part of me was left wanting, in need of something. I cannot pinpoint that specific need, but it may have been from some self-entitled desire for enjoying the 'moment'. If it was not through a game then it would be P. P won out as some fantasy had crept into my mind earlier in the day. That is an interesting problem: I felt a need to be rewarded with something fun. My other alternative was to lay in bed with a book, but that was quickly brushed aside. Looking from the outside in, it would seem that a monkey had taken the wheel of my ship. I just followed in his footsteps. The realization of this makes me feel a little pathetic, but then it wouldn't be the first time nor the only person this has happened to.
To make things better for the coming days, I will try my patience a bit and give meditation a chance. Perhaps start with 10 minutes a day and see where that takes me by the end of the month.