Josh Reboot

[JB1997]

Hi everyone,

I've used this website before as I've had intermittent success with rebooting. I've had a several relapses usually around a time where I've had a breakup with a girlfriend and just in feeling down, but I know that even though it feels good in the moment I always regret it. It absolutely sucks, but what I've also realized is that I genuinely felt I had more support and a much less-likely chance of relapsing and using artificial stimulation when I used this website regularly. I don't know what led me to stop using Reboot Nation, but I do understand now that this website and the accountability I feel I have toward others just in coming on here and posting really makes a massive difference in terms of success with getting over my porn addiction. Most recently I was with a girl last week, and realized I couldn't have sex after she asked and I tried, and I knew the fact that happened (again) was directly because of porn use. That feeling is one that I don't ever want to feel again, and have no intention of ever having in the future as a result of pornography use.

So, this is day 5 for me with stopping the use of artificial stimulation. For me, I know the hardest part starts around week 2 or 3, so I know it's coming up and that it will suck. I'm looking ahead though, and I know that this will get easier with time. I've had success before with this, and I want to have it again! But first, I know that I need to be ready for the hard part, and I'm glad I'm back on the site and have the support of those who are also going through this, and that I can also support others on this journey. To everyone who reads this, thank you, and I'm cheering for you all!

 

[TheNewDrugFighter]

Hi Josh
I am touched by your story,reading other posts give me energy to continue,I love this forum as It makes me feel that "You are not alone".
I am waiting for your success and waiting you daily posts.
Thank you for sharing your progress here.

 

[JB1997]

New Drug Fighter - thank you for the support man! I appreciate it. Hope all is well with you too.

For me first week is done now moving on to week 2! I find writing things down is helpful even just having a to do list for the day but also a separate list that I got the idea to start from a speaker named Brendon Burchard, where he talked about a what NOT to do list, and steps of how to do that as well in the same way someone writes out steps to achieve goals/finish their to-do list. That's actually been helpful. Writing things down too is also like another form of accountability just to get my feelings down on paper when I really feel frustrated, want to use porn, or even just if anything is bothering me - doesn't need to be related to PIED and all things related.

 

[JB1997]

Still going strong on week 2. I picked up meditating again and now have done that for 3 days in a row. Meditation combined with journaling for me is really helpful for this process. I actually meditated with my Mom last night for about 20 minutes which was oddly very relaxing and just felt good. One thing I am trying to be conscious of this time around using this site is supporting other people. It's funny how supporting others re-enforces the accountability I feel I have toward myself, but also for others reading my posts now too. Helping others seems to be a good way to help myself in the process.

I'm not posting updates for me every day, but things are going well since I started this on March 24th. As always, keep working hard everyone - WE got this.

 

[faenoe]

Hey glad you're back. Like you, I had success at leaving porn behind me as an active member of this community. Then I left and it slowly crept back into my life. I'm here doing the same thing you are. Just got hit by a pretty strong wave today but I made it through! Keep going man. WE got this.

 

[JB1997]

Hi Faenoe thanks for the support. Back at my house off campus this weekend so I'm kind of bored just doing work, but not going to relapse and go back to porn. A lot of times just being bored and alone in the house was a recipe for logging onto a website on my phone and just watching something to pass the time. But, those days are behind me. Thanks for the support everyone!

 

[JB1997]

Still going strong in week 3. This past weekend I had successful sex with orgasm. Still, I feel like things could have been better - more effortless, more sensation and more relaxed, but it was nice to have sex again and overall have it go well....which it did not the last time I tried about a month ago. It's incredible how after a long period of not using porn but then relapsing, it did not take nearly as long for things to "come back" as they did before. My first time when I quit porn, it took about 4 months for me to even be able to have successful sex, but now it was only about 2.5 weeks. Recently, I think turning more into meditation and exercise certainly helped. I have not viewed porn or used other sources of artificial stimulation since my first post on here, and I'm going to keep progressing because I know things can keep improving and get even better. As always, keep going friends and keep working at this even when it's difficult. We got this!

 

[JB1997]

Having thoughts coming back into my head surrounding some of the things that I escalated to while watching porn. It's weird how I don't really feel a strong desire to watch porn itself, but I do still think about the things that I would watch and those tastes that  I was uncomfortable with. I still find myself thinking about homosexual/transexual content. Meditating, journaling, and exercise together I think are helping keep those urges and compulsions to go back to porn at bay. This is definitely the hardest it's been to abstain from looking/thinking about porn to this point, but it still doesn't compare to how it was previous times that I tried quitting. This site has been helpful as well. I'll keep working and keep progressing, but it's definitely at a difficult point in this reboot right now as I go into week 4. Good luck to everyone else on this journey as well.

 

[TheSpaniard]

Hi Josh,

I'm glad you are sharing your thoughts and feelings. I can see that your story is not too different from mine, so you really bring me hope.

Stay strong, man. I wish you good luck in the next days. One step at a time.

 

[JB1997]

Not as much of a strong desire to watch porn this week, but still find myself wanting to look at pictures of people in my university, or just other attractive people online. Even if it's just on social media, but I'm not deliberately seeking out the content. It's more just pictures that come up and I just scroll on, or log of Facebook/Snapchat altogether. So far, things are good. I feel like I've found my rhythm with a 4 day/week exercise plan, and I think that structure and getting some energy out during this quarantine is also helpful. Days when I exercise I don't seem to be thinking as much about any sort of artificial stimulation or masturbation. What is still a little disheartening is the thoughts around some of the stuff that I had escalated to that I still have - whether it's transsexual or other genres. It's frustrating because I want these thoughts to go away as well, and I feel like they never fully did or have. Does anyone have any suggestions for how to get rid of these thoughts or what to do when they come up - even while I'm abstaining from porn or artificial stimulation? I'm not sure, but I could use the advice. Or, is it just something where time is really the only answer? Thanks.

On a side note, thank you Spaniard for the positive words.

-Josh

 

[JB1997]

Back to the grind and now need to reset - Day 1

 

[runksoneck]

Not as much of a strong desire to watch porn this week, but still find myself wanting to look at pictures of people in my university, or just other attractive people online. Even if it's just on social media, but I'm not deliberately seeking out the content. It's more just pictures that come up and I just scroll on, or log of Facebook/Snapchat altogether. So far, things are good. I feel like I've found my rhythm with a 4 day/week exercise plan, and I think that structure and getting some energy out during this quarantine is also helpful. Days when I exercise I don't seem to be thinking as much about any sort of artificial stimulation or masturbation. What is still a little disheartening is the thoughts around some of the stuff that I had escalated to that I still have - whether it's transsexual or other genres. It's frustrating because I want these thoughts to go away as well, and I feel like they never fully did or have. Does anyone have any suggestions for how to get rid of these thoughts or what to do when they come up - even while I'm abstaining from porn or artificial stimulation? I'm not sure, but I could use the advice. Or, is it just something where time is really the only answer? Thanks.

On a side note, thank you Spaniard for the positive words.

-Josh

Hey buddy, maybe i am not the person most qualified to respond but i know from my experience that i already relapsed so many times because of instagram, facebook, pinterest, tinder, youtube, so i decided this time to really cut all them off. And from my perspective i really dont know if i will be able to use them again. Even in whatsapp i had to get out of groups where they always were sending P.

i also perceived that scrolling on was just my mind trying to justify that its not a problem, but in my view its just bullshit, this is just my mind looking for novelty, which will eventually escalate                                                                               

 

[Furquim]

Hi, JB

I've read your history and it has motivated me to continue getting the most out of this website, which is really making the difference to my recovery. So I wish the best for your rebooting.

Welcome back and till the next time!

 

[JB1997]

Thanks Furquim,

Just not a great week at home, bored being in quarantine, and it just seemed like an easy decision at night that I regretted in the morning. Back on track, and trying to just improve what i was doing before because what I was doing clearly didn't work. All good, just improving the process and going to keep working with the support of everyone else on here too. Day 4.

 

[blueicetea10]

Go on Josh! I believe in you mate 

 

[JB1997]

Thanks for that Blueicetea, I appreciate it. Still going strong - no porn, pics, literotica etc. In my posts before I mentioned developing feelings towards sex/porn in the past that I didn't feel were genuine, such as attraction to homosexual or transsexual genres. The hardest part right now is actually abstaining from just those thoughts, even without viewing any sort of artificial stimulation. That's been really difficult to try to abstain from even thinking about it, because I feel as though I have far less control over thoughts right now then I do choosing to just not log onto pornhub or another site. Coming on here and writing about this certainly helps, as does meditation and writing in a stream-of-consciousness style, but it's still really hard. Does anyone have any advice for things that have worked for them?

On a happier note what I'm excited about now is I started dating someone who I've been friends with for years, so that really has caused this sense of urgency and even more dedicated commitment toward staying away from porn and other arousing content. I had a relationship in the past where , to put it short, we weren't able to have sex successfully for quite some time (about 4 months) and I think that was largely due to my addiction to porn because after abstaining, we were eventually able to. I remember how upsetting and discouraging those experiences were with trying to have sex and just be intimate with eachother, but physically not being able to. With this new girlfriend that I have who is SERIOUSLY amazing, I really don't want to have to find myself back in that place I was with my previous girlfriend, and I know that I do have control over whether or not I do have those bad negative experiences again. Anyways, that's just been a nice driver now that I have this new relationship that I want to make last.

As always, thanks for the support everyone, and if anyone does have advice on how to try to deal with just thoughts from content I escalated to and used to watch, I would appreciate it if anyone has a similar experience. Cheers
-Josh

 

[Jeks]

Against fantasizing i try to focus on my surroundings and try to think about stuff i see around me. For example when seeing a cup, i think about how a cup is made, what i can drink out of it, maybe tea, what types of tea do i like, what types of tea do i dont like, why is that, maybe there are bitter, what else has a bitter taste... You see where this is going. I try to think about other stuff until i feel like i passed the "rabbit hole" (its called the rabbit hole technique, i have got it from the " brain rebalanced radioshow" on youtube).
Its called rabbit hole, because when you start to scoop around in it too much, you loose yourself. So following this analogy it is important to apply this technique as soon as you become aware of triggering thoughts and fantasy. The more you dwell on those, the more difficult it will become to get out of the rabbit hole, which ultimately can lead to stronger cravings and potential relapsing.

Wish you the best of luck.

 

[JB1997]

Jeks,

Thanks man - what a great tool. I will absolutely keep that in mind and try it in the future. I'll also check out that youtube show as well and check it out sometime soon. Cheers

 

[JB1997]

It's been a little over 3 weeks. Things still going well. I wanted to watch porn this morning, but quickly kind of re-directed that temptation. But, then I wanted to just think and fantasize and let thoughts run wild but those are pretty much just homosexual/transexual thoughts - like the porn I escalated to. I even find myself not being able to focus on just one person it's like a constant switch back and forth between people, like how I used to watch videos with going back and forth. It sucks, but I know it's just something I need to work through. I got up out of bed and didn't JO and stopped those thoughts, but it was hard and tempting to just want to think about them. Things still going well. Historically when I've tried this in the past weeks 3 and 4 start was always the hardest, and right now I'm starting week 4 pretty much. Thanks for all the support everyone, and likewise best of luck to everyone else on this journey - we'll all get through this.