New Start
- Thread starter Rookie
- Start date
Day 100...honestly, if you would have told me I would achieve a streak of no PMO for 100 days, while I would covet it desperately, I never would have imagined reaching it. The crucial to it, my faith (Not going to put bible verses here, I can't think of any without taking them out of context for this), the forum and the folks on this forum and the forum...
There were and are still some very, very tough days. Some days, when she isn't in the mood, and I am half mast...I just want to say "forget it all, I'm jumping back in"...but then I think..."would I just jump in for a quick relief, would I fall into the addiction again, harder than before". Then I realize, the guilt I will have after words is absolutely not worth it. NOT saying it's easy, the folks on here with any streak at all, will ALL admit, it's DAMN tough!!!
Besides my Christian faith, is faithfulness on this board. Mr. Slurps, I know you often mention you're not worthy...keep posting. I haven't seen anyone throw negatives at anyone here. That's one part I love about being "anonymous"...no doubt if some people on this board saw some of the living conditions some people have here, there would be some judgments made "frig, that guy's rich, he has it all, why is he struggling, or the opposite...".
Being somewhat anonymous here, people don't see my house, my face, my body, my habits...I'm PURELY judged on my addiction, which is what this board is meant to do and help with. Sure we get some written pictures, like how I describe my wife with her workouts and that she's gorgeous (in my view)...others here have mentioned the same about their own...but that's it, it's text.
So for the ones reading my occasional posts, remember, if you're here, you're loved (at least the "bro" sense). You are cared about, we all hurt when you relapse, and we are all encouraged when you add even just 1 more day to your streak.
Keep pushing brothers...we ALL want out of this PMO industry, otherwise, you would have never found this forum / board...
There were and are still some very, very tough days. Some days, when she isn't in the mood, and I am half mast...I just want to say "forget it all, I'm jumping back in"...but then I think..."would I just jump in for a quick relief, would I fall into the addiction again, harder than before". Then I realize, the guilt I will have after words is absolutely not worth it. NOT saying it's easy, the folks on here with any streak at all, will ALL admit, it's DAMN tough!!!
Besides my Christian faith, is faithfulness on this board. Mr. Slurps, I know you often mention you're not worthy...keep posting. I haven't seen anyone throw negatives at anyone here. That's one part I love about being "anonymous"...no doubt if some people on this board saw some of the living conditions some people have here, there would be some judgments made "frig, that guy's rich, he has it all, why is he struggling, or the opposite...".
Being somewhat anonymous here, people don't see my house, my face, my body, my habits...I'm PURELY judged on my addiction, which is what this board is meant to do and help with. Sure we get some written pictures, like how I describe my wife with her workouts and that she's gorgeous (in my view)...others here have mentioned the same about their own...but that's it, it's text.
So for the ones reading my occasional posts, remember, if you're here, you're loved (at least the "bro" sense). You are cared about, we all hurt when you relapse, and we are all encouraged when you add even just 1 more day to your streak.
Keep pushing brothers...we ALL want out of this PMO industry, otherwise, you would have never found this forum / board...
ShadeTrenicin
Well-Known Member
Hey Man,
Thanks for this amazing post, you've captured this forum quite well!
And congratulation on reaching 100 days. An absolutely amazing achievement! Well done my friend!
Thanks for this amazing post, you've captured this forum quite well!
And congratulation on reaching 100 days. An absolutely amazing achievement! Well done my friend!
workinprogressUK
Well-Known Member
Massive congratulations, first of all, on reaching your tonne. Fantastic achievement and I hope it serves as a springboard for you to continue to be healthy and successful.
Thanks for setting a great example and for these really encouraging words, which I find really, positively, motivational. Wishing you a fantastic weekend.
Rookie said:
Thanks for setting a great example and for these really encouraging words, which I find really, positively, motivational. Wishing you a fantastic weekend.
J
J01
Guest
Awesome milestone accomplished in the midst of many tough days. Like WIP said, it is encouraging and inspirational. Hope you can celebrate with a hearty steak! Keep going!
Day 105...
I seriously thought that by this point, all temptations for PMO would be gone. Nope...not quite as raging as the first few days, but my goodness, the temptation to indulge is still fairly strong. However, I can say the urge to MO is nearly gone and the urge to O without my wife is almost gone. No more blue balls (for quite a while now) when no sex happens for a few days. In the beginning, blue balls almost daily, sex and relief were at the top of my mind, whether or not I was busy with things to do (errands or work), sex was always on my mind. Now, sex is only on my mind when my wife is home (still doesn't happen as often as I would like) but when she's gone, I can finally start channeling my thoughts towards other priorities. It's still a fight, but seems the addiction is fading in these last few rounds.
I can honestly say, while it wasn't my top battle in this marriage (some of you know my history), it was my second biggest personal battle. Only rivaled by how I felt leading to my Christian conversion.
Hoping my next update is a continuation of this streak.
I seriously thought that by this point, all temptations for PMO would be gone. Nope...not quite as raging as the first few days, but my goodness, the temptation to indulge is still fairly strong. However, I can say the urge to MO is nearly gone and the urge to O without my wife is almost gone. No more blue balls (for quite a while now) when no sex happens for a few days. In the beginning, blue balls almost daily, sex and relief were at the top of my mind, whether or not I was busy with things to do (errands or work), sex was always on my mind. Now, sex is only on my mind when my wife is home (still doesn't happen as often as I would like) but when she's gone, I can finally start channeling my thoughts towards other priorities. It's still a fight, but seems the addiction is fading in these last few rounds.
I can honestly say, while it wasn't my top battle in this marriage (some of you know my history), it was my second biggest personal battle. Only rivaled by how I felt leading to my Christian conversion.
Hoping my next update is a continuation of this streak.
Andrew1973
Active Member
A belated note of congratulations Rookie. I really enjoyed reading your day 100 post, particularly the observations about us all being different in terms of our backgrounds, but unified by one factor, which whilst something of a curse, has brought us all together here in a positive way. The old saying 'what doesn't break you makes you stronger' is very true I think - my journey here is making me stronger in many ways I didn't expect thanks to the community and willingness to share and support - no negativity, no egos, just honest, humble guys that want to improve themselves and help each other without judgement. On a practical note, I can relate to what you say about temptations as the journey progresses. I'm running 17 days behind you (88 days today) and yes, the desire is still there...BUT, I definitely notice that the shape of the desire has changed - it's a desire for my wife, and maybe a sexual appreciation of women whilst out and about. It's much less a temptation to PMO - that pull is significantly weakened. In the old days I felt this gravitational pull towards chat sites which I was utterly powerless to resist. Now, I feel that if I decided to go to one, there'd be some wall of resistance magically in place...not dissimilar to rejecting that temptation to jump back in for quick relief that you describe below. The power has certainly shifted from my reward/chimp brain to my thinking brain, which I guess is in itself evidence of a rewiring. I need to be careful as I pass my 'goal' of 90 regarding complacency/diminished motivation so any thoughts or tips you may have would be appreciated. Well done again and thanks for your contribution to the group. Cheers.
workinprogressUK
Well-Known Member
Hope that your streak continues, too, Rookie. You're doing so well! But you know as well as any of us that your addiction doesn't have a shelf-life that you can count in days. You've had great processes that have got you this far. Wishing you the emotional strength to keep using them.
ShadeTrenicin
Well-Known Member
Hey Rookie,
Thanks for the insightful post about day 105. Sometimes the streaks set out make it seem like everything is sunshine after reaching that goal. But reading your post is a clear and honest depiction of how life is after so many days. It's not the magical disapearing of urges and need for PMO but rather the enourmous growth as a person and mental coping mechanisms as well as the shift in desire from the digital to the real world.
Thanks for keeping on posting. It gives us that are not yet there a glimpse of what we might expect
Thanks for the insightful post about day 105. Sometimes the streaks set out make it seem like everything is sunshine after reaching that goal. But reading your post is a clear and honest depiction of how life is after so many days. It's not the magical disapearing of urges and need for PMO but rather the enourmous growth as a person and mental coping mechanisms as well as the shift in desire from the digital to the real world.
Thanks for keeping on posting. It gives us that are not yet there a glimpse of what we might expect
Day 112, well sir...desires are still existing for P...no argument there. Whatever happened to that wives tale about 21 days to break a habit? I'm way beyond those 21 days...and there's still the urge for P...
I typed a whole bunch here, and backspaced the entire thing (about 4 huge paragraphs, lol) because it was getting too personal and I was using this as a personal venting diary.
Wife and I had tense moments yesterday, her mother came with her father (wife's parents, which I get along with both fantastic, my wife, not so much). Wife was alone with her mother for 4 hours, completely unplanned, but it happened. When my FIL and I got back, we could cut the tension with a knife between the 2 women.
Went out for supper with my wife once her parents were gone. She got a super sized margarita (saw that one coming, lol). Then, when leaving the establishment, I asked if she was feeling better, she looked at me and smiled "let's just go home"...I knew where this was going. Stopped at my parents for a bit of wood for a fire, then came home, watched a movie. Wife initiated, then went outside for a fire.
Started as a very, very bad day, turned into an awesome evening.
I would post more often, but honestly, the way it's busy around here lately...I don't have time. Between cleaning and errands, appointments and working for dad along with my own job...frig...I wish days had 36 hrs. However, for folks rebooting, you almost wish there was only 16 hr days...8 hrs for work, and 6 for sleep, 2 for meals and travel.
I typed a whole bunch here, and backspaced the entire thing (about 4 huge paragraphs, lol) because it was getting too personal and I was using this as a personal venting diary.
Wife and I had tense moments yesterday, her mother came with her father (wife's parents, which I get along with both fantastic, my wife, not so much). Wife was alone with her mother for 4 hours, completely unplanned, but it happened. When my FIL and I got back, we could cut the tension with a knife between the 2 women.
Went out for supper with my wife once her parents were gone. She got a super sized margarita (saw that one coming, lol). Then, when leaving the establishment, I asked if she was feeling better, she looked at me and smiled "let's just go home"...I knew where this was going. Stopped at my parents for a bit of wood for a fire, then came home, watched a movie. Wife initiated, then went outside for a fire.
Started as a very, very bad day, turned into an awesome evening.
I would post more often, but honestly, the way it's busy around here lately...I don't have time. Between cleaning and errands, appointments and working for dad along with my own job...frig...I wish days had 36 hrs. However, for folks rebooting, you almost wish there was only 16 hr days...8 hrs for work, and 6 for sleep, 2 for meals and travel.
ShadeTrenicin
Well-Known Member
Hey Rookie,
Glad to read that the day ended way better than it had started. And about the paragraphs, if you want to vent here, because it will help relieve stress and not increase urges or add to the possibility of a relapse, be our guest. The whole forum is about getting rid of the addiction. SO if venting helps you in that way, by all means, vent!
And about the whole busy thing, are you keeping up? It looks like you don't even have time for a relapse. But how are you holding up? You have a tough situation at home and that's a lot to deal with, so how are you really doing? Besides very busy?
Good luck man, stay safe!
Glad to read that the day ended way better than it had started. And about the paragraphs, if you want to vent here, because it will help relieve stress and not increase urges or add to the possibility of a relapse, be our guest. The whole forum is about getting rid of the addiction. SO if venting helps you in that way, by all means, vent!
And about the whole busy thing, are you keeping up? It looks like you don't even have time for a relapse. But how are you holding up? You have a tough situation at home and that's a lot to deal with, so how are you really doing? Besides very busy?
Good luck man, stay safe!
Day 117...well sir, can I finally say I'm over this addiction, absolutely freaking not!!! While I have much more willpower than the first 40 days...the temptations are still there. Unbelievable. I thought seeing some of the other journals that the temptation would be completely eradicated. Man I was wrong. Hopefully, as long as I don't fall off the bandwagon, another 100 days, maybe? I know it's different for everyone. Some folks quit this for 3 weeks and good. Others might be on a 5 yr journey and others might be on a lifetime journey. Really hoping it's not the lifetime one for me.
** trigger alert**
Wife and I went for supper Saturday evening (our weekly routine now, providing the budget affords it) and she mentioned before we left, that intimacy would be in the cards when we get home. Well, with that statement, I didn't care if supper was $10 or $200, lol. I just wanted to come back home. Just to be clear, the budget didn't allow for $200...while we were driving out, she actually looked at me and said "I'm not sure when it started, or what's going on, but the sex is getting better and better again". I asked her if she could pin point the time frame, she couldn't. I wanted to bring up that I quit PMO...but I couldn't bring myself to say it. I'm just appreciating that she is enjoying it again. Not sure how bad it was before...(women have an unbelievable talent for faking it, she sobbed uncontrollably one night after our intimacy session, that it was the first time in months that she had an orgasm...I thought she had one every time. This was a couple of yrs ago now, but just to say, they can fake it so well that you would never be able to tell the difference).
Got home, watched a fantastic movie (not saying the name in case I have one of you misfits on my FB...wife posted it there, lol) and just before the movie ended, wife initiated (she had a couple of drinks, which I don't object to from time to time).
Sunday morning, long 1 hr drive to the church I appreciate attending. The pastor is in his early 30's, but he's a Reformed Baptist...very, very strong on doctrine, compassion and passion to be accurate. That's when I noticed the depravity of my own human heart. With over 20 yrs salvation as a Christian. I still notice myself with thoughts that are embarrassing while the sermon is being preached. Noticing stains on a tile ceiling, cute women in the pews (even as a married man, stupid how these thoughts race through someone's mind...in church!!!) Groceries to get and the list goes on.
The sermon he was preaching was on 1 John 2-28 :29 and chapter 3-1:3. I found it amazing how he could have a 1 hr sermon, on this text. The encouragement I got from his sermon, was that my salvation is not based on my feelings (we, all on this board, know how our feelings fluctuate all over the place depending on our temptations), not my works, church attendance, bible reading consistency, how good I was that week, how bad I was, how far I fell in sin, how I treated my wife, the jar of jam that was under my jacket in the cart that I never noticed till I got to the car, my love or lack of love for Christ. But my salvation depends solely on the work of Christ on the cross, and his promises that anyone who believes in him, have everlasting life.
I needed that sermon this week. While things on the PMO are still going strong (both temptation, and resistance) doesn't change the fact that I have been so busy with a few things that I have been too preoccupied to even read my bible.
Then, Sunday evening, I typed out a letter for a friend. He's dealing with severe substance abuse addictions. He actually registered himself in an out of province rehab center. No access to the internet, email, phone...nothing. And if I wrote cursive (yep, in your 40's, that's a thing), only the first couple of lines would be legible. After that...I want to get through it and the hand doesn't keep up with the words coming out. On a good day, I can type over 40 wpm...I have hit 60...and my average is over 30...lol. Cursive, well, about 10 per minute, and no backspace...lol
I'm hoping the letter I send him will be encouraging, and that it's not the only one he gets.
Hoping whoever reads this entire thing gets a bit of encouragement.
** trigger alert**
Wife and I went for supper Saturday evening (our weekly routine now, providing the budget affords it) and she mentioned before we left, that intimacy would be in the cards when we get home. Well, with that statement, I didn't care if supper was $10 or $200, lol. I just wanted to come back home. Just to be clear, the budget didn't allow for $200...while we were driving out, she actually looked at me and said "I'm not sure when it started, or what's going on, but the sex is getting better and better again". I asked her if she could pin point the time frame, she couldn't. I wanted to bring up that I quit PMO...but I couldn't bring myself to say it. I'm just appreciating that she is enjoying it again. Not sure how bad it was before...(women have an unbelievable talent for faking it, she sobbed uncontrollably one night after our intimacy session, that it was the first time in months that she had an orgasm...I thought she had one every time. This was a couple of yrs ago now, but just to say, they can fake it so well that you would never be able to tell the difference).
Got home, watched a fantastic movie (not saying the name in case I have one of you misfits on my FB...wife posted it there, lol) and just before the movie ended, wife initiated (she had a couple of drinks, which I don't object to from time to time).
Sunday morning, long 1 hr drive to the church I appreciate attending. The pastor is in his early 30's, but he's a Reformed Baptist...very, very strong on doctrine, compassion and passion to be accurate. That's when I noticed the depravity of my own human heart. With over 20 yrs salvation as a Christian. I still notice myself with thoughts that are embarrassing while the sermon is being preached. Noticing stains on a tile ceiling, cute women in the pews (even as a married man, stupid how these thoughts race through someone's mind...in church!!!) Groceries to get and the list goes on.
The sermon he was preaching was on 1 John 2-28 :29 and chapter 3-1:3. I found it amazing how he could have a 1 hr sermon, on this text. The encouragement I got from his sermon, was that my salvation is not based on my feelings (we, all on this board, know how our feelings fluctuate all over the place depending on our temptations), not my works, church attendance, bible reading consistency, how good I was that week, how bad I was, how far I fell in sin, how I treated my wife, the jar of jam that was under my jacket in the cart that I never noticed till I got to the car, my love or lack of love for Christ. But my salvation depends solely on the work of Christ on the cross, and his promises that anyone who believes in him, have everlasting life.
I needed that sermon this week. While things on the PMO are still going strong (both temptation, and resistance) doesn't change the fact that I have been so busy with a few things that I have been too preoccupied to even read my bible.
Then, Sunday evening, I typed out a letter for a friend. He's dealing with severe substance abuse addictions. He actually registered himself in an out of province rehab center. No access to the internet, email, phone...nothing. And if I wrote cursive (yep, in your 40's, that's a thing), only the first couple of lines would be legible. After that...I want to get through it and the hand doesn't keep up with the words coming out. On a good day, I can type over 40 wpm...I have hit 60...and my average is over 30...lol. Cursive, well, about 10 per minute, and no backspace...lol
I'm hoping the letter I send him will be encouraging, and that it's not the only one he gets.
Hoping whoever reads this entire thing gets a bit of encouragement.
workinprogressUK
Well-Known Member
Congrats on your continued progress. Inspiring. And hat's off to you for investing your time in typing that letter to your friend. Impressive to show that compassion to somebody else who's suffering. I remember doing residential rehab, just for a week. The most emotionally raw thing I ever did. I'm sure your friend will be lifted by knowing that he has your support.
Day 123...small renos in house are done. Mowed the lawn last night, and the ride on (it's an old one anyway) stopped very abruptly. I don't remember driving over something rough. Turned the key, absolutely nothing. Wondering if the starter went again, or if the engine is seized...either way, looks like it's a push job again. I have the money for a new one, but my goal is not a ride on this year...it's paying off the car and I might be able to do it by the end of this year. If we buy a ride on...it will be financed, and the extra I might be able to put on the car...will be gone.
Wife looked at me last night "great track record, dishwasher is broken, fridge is leaking, now ride on is broken"...I wanted to say "and your shopping for $100 per week is still a priority...right...". But, that's a battle I can't go into right now. Since she's working from home, and lots of stress, don't get involved with her little bit of stress relief shopping...
On another front, the battle is still raging, not as much as it use to be...but to say it isn't there, I would be fooling myself.
To help out with the finances, I found out that a sister company needs a ton of help, and whoever from my company goes there to help out, gets time and a half (counts as overtime, since we have already put a full week at our current job). So $30 per hour...for a few hours a week...car payment could disappear that much faster...
Either way, quick progress report. Might have more time to add later.
Wife looked at me last night "great track record, dishwasher is broken, fridge is leaking, now ride on is broken"...I wanted to say "and your shopping for $100 per week is still a priority...right...". But, that's a battle I can't go into right now. Since she's working from home, and lots of stress, don't get involved with her little bit of stress relief shopping...
On another front, the battle is still raging, not as much as it use to be...but to say it isn't there, I would be fooling myself.
To help out with the finances, I found out that a sister company needs a ton of help, and whoever from my company goes there to help out, gets time and a half (counts as overtime, since we have already put a full week at our current job). So $30 per hour...for a few hours a week...car payment could disappear that much faster...
Either way, quick progress report. Might have more time to add later.
Day 129...this week has been rough, fast, annoying, frustrating and everything in between. I was on day shift, vacations and filling in other holes.. (that's the bad part about being versatile in this business, they know you can handle about 4 different but similar roles. So, I actually filled about 3 of those roles. I was hoping for some intimacy with my wife this week. Instead, her time of the month is around the corner, so all I got was screamed at cause I'm starting to enjoy 50's music (when it was actually music). So while in the truck, and some of those old Dean Martin songs are playing and and Little Richard and much more...my wife looks at me and screams "is this some sort of between the line messages you're trying to send me that you want to put me back in the 50's...chained to a #$^$#$ stove and keep me as a slave!!"
She then retorts, "if you're looking for a fight, I'm ready, my period is coming and I'm locked and loaded"...at this point, I just pointed out, "nope, just enjoy the music, and if you want to fight, you're fighting by yourself, there's no message, no between the lines...now give it up"...
I wanted to reply back "I'm the one that does the dishes, the laundry, the groceries and takes care of the finances...this is a far cry family than the tradition, so if you want to fight, how about I list all the responsibilities I do in the house, let's list yours, and seems I'm the "Bi#%#" in this house".
But, her being emotional...that would have sprayed gas in the flames. So as usual, kept my mouth shut, and then she started talking about some achievements she has in the gym...diffused.
After this episode, when we got home...I was just thinking to myself, who the hell am I kidding. I have some freaking needs, and this woman is a pure narcissist. If it's not about her, or fulfilling her needs, it's not happening.
I almost crashed and burned this week. Man it was close...forget the streak, forget quitting porn, forget the whole freaking thing.
Then I thought...her period is coming, she's had a beyond stressful week (just like me) working from home with dogs barking all day...rough at the gym...leave her alone, and needs are not just about yours.
Didn't crash, didn't burn, but it was close.
Onto another week, hopefully today (Saturday) after an afternoon out to an outdoor activity we have booked, she might be in the mood...either way, it's a week, not the end of the world. At the start of this journey, I had gone 3 weeks with nothing.
This week is gone, time to start a new one with a refreshed attitude, and a bit more support for the crap she's also going through.
She then retorts, "if you're looking for a fight, I'm ready, my period is coming and I'm locked and loaded"...at this point, I just pointed out, "nope, just enjoy the music, and if you want to fight, you're fighting by yourself, there's no message, no between the lines...now give it up"...
I wanted to reply back "I'm the one that does the dishes, the laundry, the groceries and takes care of the finances...this is a far cry family than the tradition, so if you want to fight, how about I list all the responsibilities I do in the house, let's list yours, and seems I'm the "Bi#%#" in this house".
But, her being emotional...that would have sprayed gas in the flames. So as usual, kept my mouth shut, and then she started talking about some achievements she has in the gym...diffused.
After this episode, when we got home...I was just thinking to myself, who the hell am I kidding. I have some freaking needs, and this woman is a pure narcissist. If it's not about her, or fulfilling her needs, it's not happening.
I almost crashed and burned this week. Man it was close...forget the streak, forget quitting porn, forget the whole freaking thing.
Then I thought...her period is coming, she's had a beyond stressful week (just like me) working from home with dogs barking all day...rough at the gym...leave her alone, and needs are not just about yours.
Didn't crash, didn't burn, but it was close.
Onto another week, hopefully today (Saturday) after an afternoon out to an outdoor activity we have booked, she might be in the mood...either way, it's a week, not the end of the world. At the start of this journey, I had gone 3 weeks with nothing.
This week is gone, time to start a new one with a refreshed attitude, and a bit more support for the crap she's also going through.
awesome work, mate. I love all that old R and R too, and I often like to say - when it was music (there are literally musical instruments being played! Well!) . What good would have come jumping into the fighting fray? - doesn't matter how riotously right you are - fight is a fight - you actually won by playing it brilliantly. It sounds tough - you did some great empathizing with her troubles. This coming out of porn addiction and being shown our reality and sexual-reality isn't easy. Can only congratulate you for coming through it like a ninja. Well done on an awesome streak.
workinprogressUK
Well-Known Member
Sounds like a TOUGH week, Rookie. Congrats on making it through!
I think one of the frustrating things about fighting the battle with P addiction is that success (in my case temporarily to date) doesn't wave a magic wand over the other stuff. I found that it brought a lot of other issues into the light and made them more painful, for a while. I was using P to make the other stuff less painful. Maybe you were too? You did really well not to get into a row with your wife, but it reads like you're carrying some resentment around with you, which I hope you can shake out some way, my friend. More power to you. Eyes on the prize!
I think one of the frustrating things about fighting the battle with P addiction is that success (in my case temporarily to date) doesn't wave a magic wand over the other stuff. I found that it brought a lot of other issues into the light and made them more painful, for a while. I was using P to make the other stuff less painful. Maybe you were too? You did really well not to get into a row with your wife, but it reads like you're carrying some resentment around with you, which I hope you can shake out some way, my friend. More power to you. Eyes on the prize!
workinprogressUK said:
I know we shouldn't keep track of responsibilities we do compared to the other person in the marriage. But I'll tell you, when you're doing 3/4 of the work...and she finds time for the gym all the time, and I have a hard time finding a minute for the loo...it's nothing short of frustrating.
All that being said, we had an awesome Saturday. Went kayaking in a local river, saw an old tore down bridge. Kayaked back and then she said "I'm in the mood for a poutine, a cheeseburger and ice cream. And it will be worth your while...well sir, I was paddling like a motor boat, lol.
She kept true to her promise. Huge relief. So while the week was very stressful for the both of us, she told me she absolutely loves that we barely see each other during the week, it makes our weekends that much better. Sure sex is only once a week, and that's tough for someone quitting PMO...however, it's also a blessing that it's been very consistent the last 4 months.
So, while there is some frustration during the week, I know so far, there's been relief every weekend. Mind you, the frustrating part, is that every weekend has a cost of between $50 - $120...that's NOT in my budget...I'm finding other places to trim down.
Day 134...as of late, too freaking tired to be tempted. Working evening shift (4 pm - 12 am), falling asleep around 1:30 am....and up again at 6:30 am...need a nap mid day...daily. Wife still working from home, so that really cuts down the temptation.
I would really like more intimacy during the week, however, I'm NOT complaining that every weekend for the last 3 months, has been consistent. She's working this weekend, hoping for a frugal one. I'm below my comfort level by about $500 in my account. Not on our last $20 yet...however, we're no where near the thousands either.
Great to see more people coming on the forum, I'm trying to find time to log in to send encouragement, but lately, it's not easy. I won't login at work...they have keystroke counters...so just takes the wrong thing for me to search about this, and it's immediate termination.
Either way, for the few that read my posts, if you're in a longer streak than me...keep on keepin on...
If you're struggling to get to the double digits...keep walking. It's so worth it...we're all rooting, and will give the illustrations and examples you need. And there's TONS of experiences to learn from there.
I would really like more intimacy during the week, however, I'm NOT complaining that every weekend for the last 3 months, has been consistent. She's working this weekend, hoping for a frugal one. I'm below my comfort level by about $500 in my account. Not on our last $20 yet...however, we're no where near the thousands either.
Great to see more people coming on the forum, I'm trying to find time to log in to send encouragement, but lately, it's not easy. I won't login at work...they have keystroke counters...so just takes the wrong thing for me to search about this, and it's immediate termination.
Either way, for the few that read my posts, if you're in a longer streak than me...keep on keepin on...
If you're struggling to get to the double digits...keep walking. It's so worth it...we're all rooting, and will give the illustrations and examples you need. And there's TONS of experiences to learn from there.
Day 141...I have discovered a love hate relationship with summer. Love it due to a bit of mowing the lawn (I hate being outside, so mowing my lawn, and a bit of excavating work for dad part time kinda forces me out side) along with a few bonfires in my backyard with my wife are enjoyable for just sit down and relax watching the flames consume the wood...
I like that we don't have to warm our vehicles up for 10 minutes before leaving (we get some below 30's here in the area, Celsius that is) and Sunday drives in the truck are fun.
What do I hate about summer...the barely dressed women, that look amazing. Going to the gym, and seems to be a competition on who can wear the tightest Lululemons and tops. Pisses me off. Rarely do any of them realize how much it tortures men. They wear it because it's "their right to wear what they want". Sadly my wife has the same attitude...
Even walking on the streets...tight, tight pants. Leaving nothing to the imagination.
On the plus side, my streak is carrying on, can't say I'm not struggling some days. Weekends with my wife are still very consistent.
Financially, uncomfortable, however I just found out that one of our divisions (I work for a company that owns about 300 businesses in my province) is looking for some help and will take anyone part time. So I told my wife last night, Sunday evenings till midnight...to get 12 hrs on my pay, every payday, at $30 per hour....I'll take it. It will make paying off the car that much more achievable.
Then the next debt, then the next one. Hopefully this time next year, a bunch will be gone.
For the ones reading this, still struggling with the 1st 10 days...keep fighting bros. You have no idea how liberating it is when you find all that time. I used to edge for nearly 1 - 4 hrs...depending on my wife's shifts.
Now...I don't seem to have enough hours in the day to accomplish everything from my house chores, cooking lunches/suppers, gym, working for dad....
Hopefully the next post will be with more days added...
I like that we don't have to warm our vehicles up for 10 minutes before leaving (we get some below 30's here in the area, Celsius that is) and Sunday drives in the truck are fun.
What do I hate about summer...the barely dressed women, that look amazing. Going to the gym, and seems to be a competition on who can wear the tightest Lululemons and tops. Pisses me off. Rarely do any of them realize how much it tortures men. They wear it because it's "their right to wear what they want". Sadly my wife has the same attitude...
Even walking on the streets...tight, tight pants. Leaving nothing to the imagination.
On the plus side, my streak is carrying on, can't say I'm not struggling some days. Weekends with my wife are still very consistent.
Financially, uncomfortable, however I just found out that one of our divisions (I work for a company that owns about 300 businesses in my province) is looking for some help and will take anyone part time. So I told my wife last night, Sunday evenings till midnight...to get 12 hrs on my pay, every payday, at $30 per hour....I'll take it. It will make paying off the car that much more achievable.
Then the next debt, then the next one. Hopefully this time next year, a bunch will be gone.
For the ones reading this, still struggling with the 1st 10 days...keep fighting bros. You have no idea how liberating it is when you find all that time. I used to edge for nearly 1 - 4 hrs...depending on my wife's shifts.
Now...I don't seem to have enough hours in the day to accomplish everything from my house chores, cooking lunches/suppers, gym, working for dad....
Hopefully the next post will be with more days added...