Dear Bilbo,
First of all, I want to thank you for all your encouraging words and fruitful exchanges. You have been a positive constant in my journey. I apologize for not reciprocating all throughout the reboot, but as I shared at some point going into others' journals filled me with anxiety and what ifs.
As I see it, you in your thirties are at the sweet-spot (or bitter-spot) age that had their sexual awakening to high-speed porn. Us in our forties had some ten years of magazine porn, slow-speed internet downloaded pics and perhaps cable porn which you couldn't skip to the good parts and that still meant delayed ejaculation throughout our adult sex life, coming to think of it. I've been talking about this with friends and most of them had DE for years and a lot of them are suffering from ED now. That is to say that not even slow speed porn was harmless, it drove us a step closer to sexual dysfunction. We were never the studs our grandparents were (and that we thought we were in our glorified past).
One generation later, and you guys in your thirties skipped the DE phase, having had access to high-speed internet porn many years before seeing your first real nipple or right around the same time. I would wager that's why you've seen an improvement in the DE department. So I am sure it is a matter of deep conditioning that is getting in the way in your case and it truly is a matter of time. Just, a longer time.
I have often thought, similar to your thoughts, "what if I already busted my prostate or my pelvic floor muscles from overuse" or something along those lines, but the truth is that the body can handle lots of abuse and once you stop that abuse, it regenerates in comparatively little time. I used to have a lot of prostatitis pain, to the point that I constantly thought of prostate cancer with a fear of an actual diagnosis. All that is gone now, who knew. And for some things, the body is resilient enough that it doesn't even think of it as abuse. It's like saying, could it be that I've distended my anus from crapping every day. As nonsensical as that.
As for wet dreams and morning wood, as you've read in my journal I've been through days where they manifested, but for the most part they are not a constant anymore. Sometimes, I will wake up in the middle of the night and will have a boner, but nothing like having morning wood that lingers for hours in the morning, like in other guys' experiences. I am also not a horndog all the time, so I haven't turned into a Stallion like in other people's recounts. However, once we initiate foreplay with my now wife, things are working okay. Most of the day, though, I'm not thinking about sex. That is to say, don't obsess about morning woods or wet dreams. While they might be related, they aren't indispensable to start seeing some improvements. I am no expert, but that has been my experience.
In the testosterone department, while I think the hormone plays a part in overall manliness, muscle tone, drive to succeed, etc. I think that its role in erections is quite marginal. Sure it has to be present and not overwhelmed by progesterone so that the signaling can go through, but just enough is enough in my opinion. One doesn't have to become a raging bull to be able to have a boner. Just mentally recall how many "wimpy" guys in your grandparent's circle of acquaintances had several kids (or wives and affairs). I am convinced that the crucial signaling to maintaining erections happens in the reward system and it's more of a dopamine signaling thing in your nucleus accumbens than a testosterone signaling in your balls. And that dopamine signaling is messed up not only from porn, but from many other types of overstimulation like apps, notifications, video games, junk foods, etc. As I said before, if you want to get testosterone off your mind, follow
this protocol to the letter.
It is my opinion that there's nothing wrong with your pelvic floor or your testosterone.
I believe, it all comes down to not masturbating to porn ever again—maybe not even masturbate or get a hand job at all—and "have fun, spend time with your loved ones, laugh, go for walks, move your body, commune with nature, talk to every woman that crosses your path, just don't be a dick, eat good wholesome foods, have some wine," like I've written everywhere. You know I've searched for the magic bullet, and in the end I found out that there isn't one but just living a healthy life, enjoying it to the fullest without overstimulation of any kind (be it porn, or apps, or videogames, or junk foods), and waiting. And this is probably disappointing to read, but it's what I have for you today.
The one thing that works is removing porn from your life. Just give it more time.
All my good vibes to you my friend!!!