A BIG demotivation

First, I'm so sorry for different mistakes I made writting this story. I point out that I'm a boy even if google traduction do wrong traduction making myself a girl.

Hello everyone,

Like most people my age (17), the first pornographic image I saw in my life was 11 years old. From that year, at the same time as my first ejaculations, I started to masturbate regularly. But at that age, I did not have enough to regularly consult porn sites or images.

But from the age of 14, everything started to get worse. I started to have free access to the laptop. At that time, I still had memories of the images that had previously stimulated me. You surely guess the rest, my curiosity was much too great. I was ready to put myself in any embarrassing situation only to watch porn to the point where sometimes, so much the erections were frequent in only one day, the pains which resulted from it were excruciating, adding some DE to that.

But at the age of 15, I had a real change. Being born into a family of Muslim believers, I had no great interest in religion but from that day my awareness allowed me to have a significant boost of motivation which allowed me in the end achieve a high spiritual level, a high level of political awareness, and strong moral values. This resulted in my final stop listening to rap (US and FR), my limitation of time spent on video games, my diet became much healthier ... Actually, the only problem I couldn't get rid of was porn. My first year after the changement was not very conclusive in the sense that I could not hold it for more than 7 days. But I was not discouraged even if I found that I was not very successful in my attempt at withdrawal.

Arrived in the last year of high school at the age of 17 (that is to say my current age), I decided to proceed more methodically. I started to organize my days, set up time for reading, meditation, sport (basketball and bodybuilding) ... I even started to follow a free journey specially created for the problem (sent by their creators for the ones who have an email )of porn, made in France with precise psychological references, a very erious work. I point out that this journey and the overwhelming majority of people who talk about porn, from professional to "normal" people on forums like this one, strongly stress the importance of having a partner to share this with. Something I took seriously at first when trying to tell my close friend about my problem. I don't know if his American origins influenced him but he completely downplayed the problem like most people (I say that I have nothing against the Americans knowing that I know perfectly well that those who answer me will be Americans) . Aside from that friend, no one else was really mature or understood the seriousness of the problem.

The only ones I had left were my parents, to whom I had already lied several times on this subject because they already suspected me of viewing this content. So I developed a shame in telling them about it, especially to my mother who is very open to this kind of discussion and who is exemplary with my father in their married life.

So continuing my journey alone, my efforts gradually began to bear fruit until arriving at the day of my 13th day without porn, my record. You can guess what followed, a relapse followed because partly of a week very punctuated by different written tests. That day was a disaster for the future in the sense that I lost all my motivation. I dropped everything on the spiritual level in particular and also give up any effort to try to stop porn.

I have been in this situation for 6 months and I ask for help because I really can't take this porn anymore destroying my motivation and my life. On top of that, as said before, I am a Muslim so the only love and sexual relationships allowed are the one defined within the framework of marriage (and I think it's always better than these relationships which last 2 minutes 30). At the same time as I reach my majority, I will take the opportunity to marry a mature woman, but having consulted only in this forum the number of women whose lives are destroyed because of their partners addicted to porn, I feel guilty about the result obtained if I did not radically change my report to porn!

Is there someone to help me, advise me as best he can?

 

yesyes1234

Active Member
Have you tried SLAA or a therapist?

Somebody you can talk to face to face on a weekly basis is the most effective thing I ever tried.
By far the best method I've tried in my rebooting process.

Good luck
 

Andrew1973

Active Member
Hi - is French your first language? Can you read English or do you have to use Google translate? Do you speak any other languages fluently? Have you been able to look at the help and videos here or is language a barrier?
 
Yes, french is my first language but I can read and understand english quite good. But write in english is more difficult for me. So, when I come to this website, I don't have difficulties. And this is why I used google translate to tell my story.
 

imsorrynotsorry

Active Member
Hello APFR,

toutes les bonnes choses sont rares et aussi difficile - Baruch de Spinoza
i think this fits for that effort we?re in, isn't it?

you are young and you are aware of the addiction. With 17 years you are ahead of me at least 8 years since i understood having an addiction. And you know where you wish to go in your later life, that?s also good, because you understand today that your design of life doesn't work good with P. This means, pick the right road today and you'll get where you want to. But, the question is not if you?ll get there, it is how you'll get there.

You?ll find very good ideas from William in his well known post here:
http://legacy.rebootnation.org/index.php?topic=1256.0

Have you informed yourself over all the physical problems that are happening in a human body when watching porn? I would advise that to you aswell.

For the rest, it is up to you!
Find out how long you can go without P. Maybe it is just 3 days or it is 30 or 300 days. You?ll reach many points where triggers work or urges press and without stopping P you cannot learn about that. So it is important to stop, make experiences and learn. For discussing those experiences you can always come back here and write it down, maybe even start a journal in your age category.

I wish you good luck,
? bient?t, bonne chance

Imsor
 
I relapsed after 10 days. It doesn't matter.
Now, I would like a few tips to have a better control of myself mostly when the sexual desire is the greatest (that is to say in first days).
 

Andrew1973

Active Member
Do not worry. This is an opportunity to learn. What was the trigger for your relapse? What were you thinking, feeling? Were you in a particular situation? Eg alone, what else was a factor in this happening?
Understanding the answers and becoming aware is very powerful in helping you avoid the same situation again - perhaps developing a plan for when the trigger situation reoccurs.
10 days is a great start.
 
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