My journal, my friend

imsorrynotsorry

Active Member
Hello Maglue,

it was a combination of food and exercise. Here's the link to my journal post about it at page 7:
Reply #137 - Libido Food, etc.
Btw i'm 35.

Hey guys,

Thank you. We still must wait for test results but i'm really exited about the baby. Hopefully everything will turn out fine.

Imsor
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
Imsor, I've begun reading your journal with interest. Congratulations on all your recent victories and good news.

Wishing you well in your continued success!
 

imsorrynotsorry

Active Member
Hey guys,

just a quick check in.
The counter says 401 now and i feel a bit unprepared. 400+ is such a huge thing and when i look back 1 year ago it felt impossible to reach. But then, 400+ is nothing compared to the period in which i PMO'd daily, over years. It feels like i should get something for my effort, but it's nonsense and maybe childish. I can sense a feeling to MO and i'm not sure if this is okay or not. Will there ever be a situation in which MO is ok?

With the GF being pregnant intimacy is a rare visitor right now. It's not forbidden, but the moment must be right and her feeling good with it. Anyway, the moments in where i can lure her into bed for intimacy are gone for some time now. Maybe that's the cause for my 'alternative need' to MO. Not sure, anyway, it felt good to write it down and see my thoughts with my own eyes.

Except that, everything is fine. Still waiting for test results. Had an ultrasound last friday. The baby already has 6 cm. It's so unreal seeing this little heart beating so fast and i'm close to tears when i think about the struggle we went through. Hopefully everything turns out perfectly.

Wish everybody a great week.

Imsor
 

EarthWalker

Well-Known Member
🍰🎆 Thank you for sharing Imsor! So happy for you!

For the MO. I am currently working on a theory ... that this desire for MO is coming from some energy becoming stagnant - it doesn't fully circulate.

As I noticed. Sometimes after I MO - I actually feel more energetic, like some weights are lifted. Other-times I feel drained. I'd attribute the MO after which I feel more energetic to energy becoming stagnant.

I tried some "exercise" where you move the energy around the chakras. Like from 1st to 2nd then to 3rd then to 4th...and so on. I am just at the beginning so I can't say more than that. I liked it. The downside to exercises like this they can get a bit "infiltrated" so need to be a bit vigilant. Will see if it will help with my own MO needs.

Have a great week as well.

EW
 

ShadeTrenicin

Well-Known Member
Hey guys,

just a quick check in.
The counter says 401 now and i feel a bit unprepared. 400+ is such a huge thing and when i look back 1 year ago it felt impossible to reach. But then, 400+ is nothing compared to the period in which i PMO'd daily, over years. It feels like i should get something for my effort, but it's nonsense and maybe childish. I can sense a feeling to MO and i'm not sure if this is okay or not. Will there ever be a situation in which MO is ok?

With the GF being pregnant intimacy is a rare visitor right now. It's not forbidden, but the moment must be right and her feeling good with it. Anyway, the moments in where i can lure her into bed for intimacy are gone for some time now. Maybe that's the cause for my 'alternative need' to MO. Not sure, anyway, it felt good to write it down and see my thoughts with my own eyes.

Except that, everything is fine. Still waiting for test results. Had an ultrasound last friday. The baby already has 6 cm. It's so unreal seeing this little heart beating so fast and i'm close to tears when i think about the struggle we went through. Hopefully everything turns out perfectly.

Wish everybody a great week.

Imsor
Hey Imsor.

Once again congrats with the pregnancy. Truly happy for both of you.

Regarding the intimacy; there will be a period of less or even no sex. Regarding the MO, what are you afraid of? Is it fear of fantasizing about P like things? Also what would normal, healty fantasy mean for you?

I do battle with that myself. And what I found is that , for me, it works best before I go to sleep with 'normal fantasy'. That way the MO doesn't have any effect on the day and you can process certain feelings/emotions during sleep.

Good luck and stay strong
 

imsorrynotsorry

Active Member
Hey guys,

very sorry for not coming back to you. I was so busy organizing the year.

First off, i feel fine. I had some time, i told you about, where i MO'd more than once but now im fine again, no MO urge anymore. Maybe it was the 'pressure' of becoming a parent and all. I do feel sometimes that i urge to watch girls and in the streets i do, but not in a digital way. It is still a fight to not look at some pictures on some days, but i can manage right now.

he GF and the baby is fine. She is really doing great with the pregnancy and i trust her with that. It's now the 5th month and we are expecting the baby in novembre.

the GF and i have some old difficulties we want to work on, therefore we are seeing a relationship counsellor once a month. This is a very new experience for me. In a way it's interesting learning about ourselfs stuff.

I do feel i'm not healed from PMO and i habe to be cautios, but i know now that one PMO would not kill all the effort i was working on. This calms me and is making me peaceful and patient with myself

After more than 432 days i can say that morning wood is completely normal again and my sex life is also normal. My erections last again for as long as i want. My libido is swinging up and down, i guess that's normal.

Besides that we are looking forward for our last vacation without a child and preparing the appartement for the baby.
Will keep you updated.

all the best
Imsor

Day 432:
Urge to PMO 0,8/10
Libido 7/10
Beer consumption 5/10
Chocolade 7/10
Morning wood 9/10
 

EarthWalker

Well-Known Member
Thank you for sharing! Awesome. Very happy for you. So beautiful you and your GF are both working on yourselves and on each other. I am getting that you are both interested in growth and make this happen. This is all that matters the rest will follow and is following. So excited for you guys.

432 Days. Ha. What a number! Respect.

Have a great time on vacation.

Much love
EW
 

imsorrynotsorry

Active Member
Hey guys,

it's time i get back to you.

The GF and the baby are still fine. We had a wonderful holiday in France at a campsite. And it was there that i first could feel the baby with my hand on the belly.

In matters of PMO i think i'm good, most of the time. I had three days alone in the appartement which were hard for me. I had this huge urge to O and it was very difficult to not give in, so i MOd. In the last weeks i MOd every now and then, because sometimes my urge to O is growing so fast that i can get a hold of it. I can't tell if this is normal or still a problem related to PMO? I think the brain remembers the supernormal stimulus and every now and then it craves for it so hard. Sure, it feels good to give in and MO, but i don't want it to be that powerful.
I had that two times since my last post. It got way better after i got intimate with my GF, but when she's not around it's very difficult.

somehow this didn't happen to me in the first 365 days, so, did i open up that door a little bit?

in general i feel peaceful and i can see my addiction in a different perspective. I like to think that i can MO sometimes. Not often and only as a replacement for normal intimacy with the GF. I hope i can stick to this.

As for the daycount it says 462 today. I really like to abandone PMO forever, to forget about numbers and all, but i think it's important to stay humble. In this addiction it's impossible to tell if i'm far away from PMO today or close to doing it in 5 mins. Maybe i know more about that next year. For now i will keep writing the journal.

wish you guys all the best, thanks for reading.

Imsor
 

imsorrynotsorry

Active Member
Hey guys,

me writing some news and thoughts down.

First of all, the GF and the baby are feeling fine. The doctor told us everything is ok until now and we are expecting the baby to born in november. Exciting, i tell you!

In terms of PMO i'm still clean but i slowly feel more and more concerned about things. With the pregnancy being very present all we do now is touching each other. It's okay, but it's not exactly what we had. I know this is a problem of the highest level, but i miss the sex we had now.

Looking back it seems weird. It was right about the time i was fully functioning again and being able to experience real intimacy again when the GF was able to get pregnant :). I would like to complain, but it seems unfair and i'm really happy for what is happening to us with the baby.

In the last weeks i MOd every now and then and maybe sometimes too often. That's why i started to think about it, what's going on and stuff. I think i slowly gave up the possibility of intimacy with my GF because of the pregnancy, which i think some guys can understand, but even though i should not do it. Even if she is pregnant, we can have fun with each other and maybe i have to be more patient at times, but this is the healthy way to find sexual pleasure and this way is good for me. MOing is not exactly bad, but MOing over and over again is reminding me too much of my old habits.

I'm happy that i was able to handle my recent urges and i'm thankful for that. PMO is flashing up in my mind at times. I didn't find a way yet to completely leave it our of my thoughts.

It's day 520 today and i want to reach christmas in a better state than i was in the last weeks.

thanks for reading, wish you all much love and power for the fight.

Imsor
 
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