My journal, my friend

EarthWalker

Respected Member
Looks like alcohol might be a major contributing factor to the loss of libido.

Had a similar experience with dreams today.

Have a great weekend.
EW
 

imsorrynotsorry

Active Member
Days turned by and now its wednesday. To abstain from RN was surprinsingly easy for me, because i have a lot on my mind these days and also a lot of work.

I can feel my libido is coming back, because i can feel my man down there wanting something. This definitely has changed, but if i'm ready for O with the GF i don't know. No need for a rush here.

The last days i tried to improve my yoga routine. This isn't easy if you really want to do the exercises right. I mean, there a so many details with every part of your body if you want to do it completely right. So i started to learn the down dog correctly and the cow/cat pose. Have to hold on to this.

During the weekend i had some urge to MO and just reward myself with an O, since Oing with the GF seemed to be a bit uneasy. This is my mind playing tricks. I know Oing with the GF isn't easy, but MO is just no solution for anything, right?

I'm too tired today, will catch up another day more.

Day 192:
Urge to PMO 1/10
Libido 1/10
Beer consumption 2/10
Chocolade 6/10
Morning wood 4/10
 

EarthWalker

Respected Member
Hi, imsorrynotsorry.

Great to hear things are moving well for you. Fwiw, I also don't feel like posting much lately.

Right. It is a trick. You have a GF. O with her and not with your hand. Simple.

EW
 

imsorrynotsorry

Active Member
Hello guys,

it's been a while and i don't have much of a explanation for that. I was just happy going to bed early every day and do a lot of work in the basement on my bicycles. Also i took care of a lot of things in the flat. Sometimes i feel like i have endless energy to do things, which is good.

PMO wasn't a huge thing in the last two weeks. My libido is a bit higher, maybe in a normal area, i don't know. The GF and i haven't tested my abilities yet to have an erection. She's still easy about my problem and she doesn't think that it's a big thing and trusts that it will come back eventually. We'll see and i'm optimistic it will. As a cause i think i O'd a bit too much before my flatline occured, maybe?! Anyway, i hold on to the progress which is happening in my brain.

Since about three weeks i abstained from alcohol, which is good. It helps me focusing on my sports, since i really want to drop 3 kgs. Sadly i didn't find the time much to advance in my yoga routine.

My morning wood comes and goes, my libido is there but not really present. Overall i feel very good, i have great motivation and confidence. Beside that my GF and i still have to face some doctors when it comes to fertility issues. This is kind of a downer in my mood, because we don't know exactly what that does mean for us in the future.

Yesterday was day 200 and i can't believe what i achieved this year. I quitted smoking last christmas completely, i did manage to not PMO since 200 days and i'm focused on my running. Most parts of my life are great and i'm thankful for that. For the PMO part i'm also very thankful to you guys.

Day 201:
Urge to PMO 1/10
Libido 2/10
Beer consumption 1/10
Chocolade 4/10
Morning wood 4/10
 

EarthWalker

Respected Member
Hi, imsor.

I am very happy to read that you are doing very well. Congratulations on 200. Keep it up. Totally understandable that you will be spending less and less time here.

About the fertility. It is very stressful time in the external. Maybe wait until this BS calms down a bit. Also maybe not the best time to go around doctors. YMMW.

Wish you all the best
EW
 
D

Deleted member 17609

Guest
Hi friend! Good to see you are holding on and that things are going well for you. I'm just a few days behind you, and I feel you and me are improving at the same pace. I don't know how long it will take us to heal, but what matters is that we're staying away from porn. Keep up the good work! Take care.
 

realficker

Member
imsorrynotsorry said:
Hello guys,

it's been a while and i don't have much of a explanation for that. I was just happy going to bed early every day and do a lot of work in the basement on my bicycles. Also i took care of a lot of things in the flat. Sometimes i feel like i have endless energy to do things, which is good.

PMO wasn't a huge thing in the last two weeks. My libido is a bit higher, maybe in a normal area, i don't know. The GF and i haven't tested my abilities yet to have an erection. She's still easy about my problem and she doesn't think that it's a big thing and trusts that it will come back eventually. We'll see and i'm optimistic it will. As a cause i think i O'd a bit too much before my flatline occured, maybe?! Anyway, i hold on to the progress which is happening in my brain.

Since about three weeks i abstained from alcohol, which is good. It helps me focusing on my sports, since i really want to drop 3 kgs. Sadly i didn't find the time much to advance in my yoga routine.

My morning wood comes and goes, my libido is there but not really present. Overall i feel very good, i have great motivation and confidence. Beside that my GF and i still have to face some doctors when it comes to fertility issues. This is kind of a downer in my mood, because we don't know exactly what that does mean for us in the future.

Yesterday was day 200 and i can't believe what i achieved this year. I quitted smoking last christmas completely, i did manage to not PMO since 200 days and i'm focused on my running. Most parts of my life are great and i'm thankful for that. For the PMO part i'm also very thankful to you guys.

Day 201:
Urge to PMO 1/10
Libido 2/10
Beer consumption 1/10
Chocolade 4/10
Morning wood 4/10

Wow more than 200 days. Respect Thats great. Also that you did change so many things during the reboot time! Keep going! You will achieve your goals!
 

imsorrynotsorry

Active Member
Hey guys,

last saturday i O'd with the GF and everything worked fine again. I'm happy for that and i felt it coming, that it will work again.

Also my morning wood is quite present.

Beside that all i've thought about the stimulus in general and thought of me and my brother. We both have that longing for more, he in other ways and i satisfied myself with PMO. It feels like something in my childhood taught me that i need 'more' and that normal stimulus isn't enough. So, my theory is that somehow i always think that there must be more, a super stimulus like PMO. As long as i don't get behind this, it's a threat to me and my reboot.

Day 211:
Urge to PMO 1/10
Libido 4/10
Beer consumption 1/10
Chocolade 5/10
Morning wood 5/10
 

SebUK

Active Member
That's good news regarding your GF.

I still have no morning wood :D Hoping that will come back at some point, even though it can be annoying if you want to go to the bathroom!
 
Imsorrynotsorry,

That feeling of more is deeper than PMO, much deeper. You'll see once you get there. It will be clear as day!

I am rooting for you!
 

ShadeTrenicin

Well-Known Member
Hey Imsor,

It is great to read how well you are doing, also with the gf! I am very happy for you! Keep it going my friend!
 

imsorrynotsorry

Active Member
Hello guys,

Ahh it feels nice to be here again and i've found some time to catch up. Will cut it short, promise.

Today is day 242.

I focused on a lot of projects in the house and with my GF, so in terms of PMO nothing happened. But, i O'd with the GF and sometimes i couldn't sustain a hard one for long. Whilst doing it, my man just flattens and i have no idea why. It's over 8 months i'm in reboot and i'm not finished yet, but i will not give up, i will fight as long as i can.

Beside that something truly wonderful happened. It seems a bit weird to post it here, but there are some similarities i guess. My GF suffered from anorexia nervosa for almost 8 years. In 2018 she was in a clinic to tread it and since then a lot of things changed. This disease is like an addiction and there are a lot of symptoms, like having no period. No period means no chance of being pregnant, you know this. When a woman is to skinny because of less eating, the body shuts down the period for protection, like 'the body should not have a baby'. Ok, so far so good. We did some artifical fertilization in 2019, it didn't work and we've spent some 7000 euros. After that she tried to do anything to get her period back in a normal way. The doctors claim that's not sure to say if this ever is going to happen. My GF, she did everything, even hormon yoga, for 7 months on a daily basis, she got weight back and all of a sudden, last week she had her first period in 15 years (without that birth control pill). We've went to a doctor to check her hormons and her hormons a back to normal. This is all new for us and we are excited what will happen next.

Bottom line, she recovered from this disease/addiction and i want to do the same. It needs time and patience, although no one can tell my how long, but i feel it's the right way.

With cravings i feel good and easy. There are situations when i think about PMO, but it feels just 'far away'. I want to have this whole year of PMO freedom in my life.

In everyday life i felt some stressors here and there and i learned that i have to decide immediately how i want to cope with them. Then life and sleep is much better.

Day 242:
Urge to PMO 1/10
Libido 3/10
Beer consumption 5/10
Chocolade 6/10
Morning wood 4/10 - comes and goes.
 

ShadeTrenicin

Well-Known Member
Hey Imsor, welcome back!

Excellent news about your gf recovering from that terrible illness. I am really happy for both of you! Congratulations!

 
D

Deleted member 17609

Guest
Hi man! Congratulations on 242 days! And good news for your girlfriend. Keep it up.
 

BabySteps

Active Member
Hey imSorryNotSorry

Positive things are happening in your life buddy. Congrats on the 242 days mark, how I wish to hit that mark and beyond.

BS
 

EarthWalker

Respected Member
Hi, Imsor. Really happy for your progress.  Thank you for the update. Keep going.

Wish you and your partner the best.

EW
 
Hi, imSorryNotSorry.
Really happy to hear about your wife recovery. It has been a long journey for her. And I'm certain she did support you on your journey as much your supported on hers. You two make a strong and resilient couple. Cheers for both!

I hope this good news strengthen you even more. You deserve a recovery too, my friend.

Congrats on your mark!
 

imsorrynotsorry

Active Member
Hello guys,

thank you all for your kind words which mean a lot to me, especially now.

The story is, last weekend the GF got intimate two times and all worked perfectly. I would say, both times were wonderful and more intense than usual. I don't know why, but i had two intense O and we just had fun. At first i enjoyed it really, being proud in a way, but secondly i was afraid of doing it again soon. I found my self earlier in this reboot at the same place, like Oing twice on a weekend and just the next weekend i was not able to stay hard for long.
And yes, you guess right. On Wednesday we tried to have sex during the day, because maybe she could get pregnant. It became a frustrating day, because it hadn't worked. Not worked at all. In the beginning i was hard for short time, but then i lost it completely finding us both lying there with frustration.
On friday we tried it again and it didn't work either. Like i said, in the beginning i was hard, aroused and all, but then it "collapsed".

Since we try to get her pregnant, there's this extra pressure to "perform" and it's not helping.
I like to think, that this isn't only P-induced. I also think that i'm afraid of loosing my hardness and i definitely lost my self confidence to zero while having sex. So, no confidence, fear of loosing it, uncertainty is an absolute killer for an erection.

She's saying to me that we can just have fun and we should just be happy to do it, without thinking about anything else. I really like this idea, but i don't know how and this is making me so sad, because i know it's true.

I must think about my mindset and how i can positively influence it. Furthermore i have to do some kegeltraining everyday, because i've read this helps to keep up the bloodflow down there.

Your thoughts on that topic or experience are welcomed, feel free to share. Meanwhile i will get back to you with my progress.

Day 252:
Urge to PMO 0,5/10
Libido 2/10
Beer consumption 1/10
Chocolade 6/10
Morning wood 5/10
 

EarthWalker

Respected Member
Hi Imsor.

I think you are trying too hard. Give it time. It will happen on its own time and not on yours. Maybe for now just ignore the problem. You can't force this process.

I think huge improvement already with your wife and you. I think it is normal to want more right away. Afaik it took Gabe 15 months to 100% reboot. I love what you wrote in one of your previous posts:

It needs time and patience, although no one can tell my how long, but i feel it's the right way.

Wish you and you wife all the best
EW

edit: rephrased the sentence.
 

imsorrynotsorry

Active Member
Hey EarthWalker,

Thanks for your response.
You're right, i tried too hard and wanted too much, when there are other things to process. Deep in my mind i'm questioning my relationship since a long time and i've never been 100% sure of it, because of her illness and some years where i thought she wouldn't be able to manage parenthood. It's all better now but still i'm hanging in the past. So, time it is that i need. And patience.

It's not long and i reached 270 days which make 9 months. Still not enough to be rebooted completely but to feel pretty normal overall.

Thank you guys and wish you all the best. Will update asap.

Imsor
 
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