UKGuy said:
I interpreted Mr Slurps comments slightly differently Leonidas, in that he is trying to locate the triggers that led to his slip - I would certainly think this is a good practice as it leads to awareness and an ability to see those triggers the next time they occur before one is overcome by them and ends up relapsing mindlessly and unconciously.
I am not sure if you and I are interpreting his words differently, or we disagree on the subject, and value in trigger identifcation!?
Leonidas said:
mr.slurps said:
At this point I'm searching for triggers.
I think today will be pivotal.
Hello Mr. Slurps, sorry for abbreviating your quote by I just found it to be quite telling. Searching for triggers... yes that would invite more trouble than good. But just to sidetrack for a bit, some of the followers of Buddhism profess that experimenting with 'difficult' or 'challenging' situations is the only possible way to achieve Nirvana within a lifetime. Back to searching for triggers: although not wrong, and even seen as good by some in Buddhist circles, it is mostly going to lead one to be burned. If thoughts arise, let them be, as there is no point in suppressing (doesn't work). Your mind will gradually resort less to those triggers over time. But inviting them explicitly is opening a can of worms!
And - today (or tomorrow or the day after) may be pivotal... but then it may not. Why fret?
While I echo both of these, if I may add my quick thoughts. Part of my recovery and reboot, was to NOT linger too much on trying to figure out where I went wrong, and what happened. I know that if I went on my Instagram and clicked "search", it was nothing but gorgeous women barely dressed showing off their bodies. My Tumblr account was purely for P clips...and Twitter, I can control my urges when searching at home, I can't when it's on my phone. I also knew when my wife was out for a period of time, and I was bored or frustrated...led to a fall.
But if I tried to analyze it more than that...it was giving me more urges.
I'll give 2 quick illustrations. I don't know if anyone here is a "conspiracy theorist" or a "skeptical thinker" as I prefer to call myself. When this whole virus thing started, the theorists started with the mark of the beast, the vaccine and a bunch of other stuff. So, I searched, I analyzed and found a bunch of stuff. I was thinking "if I can be well prepared for the signs and know what the "future triggers" will be, I'll be safe. Well, the research I did led me in such an evil world, that I gave myself anxiety for 3 weeks, barely any sleep and images I can't erase from memory. So, I just left it all, and thought (religious talk here) Christ, you got this.
Second illustration, finances, I'm a numbers guy. When I bought my truck, I ran through roughly 15 scenarios on "can I afford this"...got anxiety. I went back to the basics, did up my budget, and realized, I was only increasing my payments by X amount from my car to the truck...I'll find a way in the tough months.
All this to say, Mr. Slurps, if your mind works like mine, I wouldn't linger too much on analyzing things. It may unfortunately lead you back to where you started. Learn to move on. Besides, you may not know what the triggers are till you fall a few times, at which point, you see a pattern..."every time I do this, or every time this happens...it leads me to this"...
I know I rambled much, and if you're like the other guys, finding your triggers might be beneficial, if you're like me, you don't want to linger on it too much.
Keep us posted on your progress!!