Rebooting trough self-parenting

EarthWalker

Respected Member
Day 8.

Moving forward. For the most part I don't think about P much or P addiction.

Wish everyone a good day and a good start of the weekend.
EW
 

Phineas 808

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Moving forward. For the most part I don't think about P much or P addiction.

Good on you for day 8, EW!

That's the ticket, brother. Not identifying yourself with this habit, not paying it more attention than it deserves. However, if and when urges should arise, dealing with it in the same way, dismissing them- not fighting them, not trying to avoid them.

Good effort on moving forward!

Have a good day, and start of your weekend, also.

 

EarthWalker

Respected Member
Day 11.

So far all days are hardmode. Didn't peek or M or MO or anything like that.

As expected. Days 10-15 is where the addiction kicks in to the highest gear. Addiction pathways get stronger.

Starting to get horny. This is an altered state of being. Just like being drunk. When drunk decisions are impaired. The same with horniness. I'll try some visualizations of moving 2nd chakra energy to 4th chakra. Maybe even try some sensual massage, but will refrain to it unless horniness too much, but this time no fantasy thoughts, not even vanilla. Need to be in my body with my energy.

Micro to the macro, macro to the micro. If there is a union of male and female in the external with couples. Maybe there is also an inner union of male and female where the sexual energy doesn't need to jump out (PMO) but is integrating with the hearth energy centre? Will explore this.

Wish everyone a good day
EW
 

EarthWalker

Respected Member
Day 12.

A little horny in the morning. A few P thoughts came up. I dismissed them.

There is the real energy of my 2nd chakra. And there is the fake illusion of P that wants to leech this energy away.

I want this sexual energy to stay and nourish my body instead of leeching away in P thoughts and PMOs.

Wish everyone a good day
EW
 

Phineas 808

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Good on you for 12 days, EW!

Excellent, too, dismissing the urges to PMO...!

What you say about the 2nd chakra is true, because isn't it so that when we give in and PMO, we loose the sexual energy that would otherwise go toward creativity and drive in our day-to-day lives?

Also, there's more mystical applications of this truth, as well, which I think you may be keying in on.

Have a good day, also!
 

EarthWalker

Respected Member
I was shoveling snow for like 2.5 hours. For like 1.5 hours this lurking P thoughts were present.

But luckily the shoveling tired me. Then I started to write some letter I got writing and got lost in the writing process.

This horniness is like this frequency/vibratory state. Like being drunk. It impairs judgement.

If only there was some way to shift this vibratory state into post PMO state. Maybe some hormone pills would work. But I don't believe in that. I believe that the body makes the best drugs.

Came across this quote

"When a person can't find a deep sense of meaning, they distract themselves with pleasure" -- Viktor Frankl

EW
 

EarthWalker

Respected Member
Day 15.

The P addiction thoughts are very annoying. A bit like a rock in shoe but you can't take off the shoe to remove the rock but now you have to walk for a long time.

Maybe for a start I can better discern between

1) My sexual energy in 2nd charka
2) The P addiction, P thoughts, P fantasies.

I can acknowledge each as their own separate thing.

This is hard. This phase days 10-24 is called Oblivion for a reason.

Wish everyone a good day
EW
 

stepbystep

Active Member
Nice analogy! At some point, you will remove the shoe and just drop the rock forever. I think that takes some time for us because our brains are still filled with P fog. But over time, slowly the fantasies and thoughts will slow reduce over time.
 

EarthWalker

Respected Member
Day 1.

Relapse at day 15. Couldn't handle it. Got oblivioned. Got 14 clean days in.

I think this has a whole lot to do with not taking true self-responsibility for my sexual energies. I just cannot handle them a this time.

I am now seeing that part of this reboot journey is in large part about taking self-responsibility for the sexual energies. Discipline, Diligence and Purity.

The chaser is annoying. Will just have to live with rocks in my shoes.

But this question:

Am I taking self-responsibility with my sexual energy?

This hits the nail on the head at this time. The short answer is No.

EW
 

EarthWalker

Respected Member
Day 3.

Chaser is less now. But still annoying.

I guess this is just about getting comfortable living with a super annoying rock in my shoe.

Getting comfortable with discomfort.

This shouldn't be this hard. But it is.

Am I taking self-responsibility for my sexual energy?

Is porn taking responsibility of my sexual desires or am I the one who is doing this?

Back to basics:

Getting up in the morning at a consistent time.
Screens off after 8 PM. New habit in the evening. Listen to audiobooks instead of watching YT or something.

Wish everyone a good day.
EW
 

Phineas 808

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Getting comfortable with discomfort.

This ^ ! Good stuff, and very key.

EW, can you go deeper into what you mean by your question, Am I taking self-responsibility for my sexual energy?

What does this look like for you? What do you mean by taking self-responsibility for your sexual energy?
 

EarthWalker

Respected Member
Thank you for the question. Awesome question.

We have the power of awareness/attention/focus. We can put my attention to reading a book. We can also put attention to working out. Or we can also put attention to watching P.

Basically I am saying we have free* will.

* terms and limits apply.

I consider myself responsible for where I put my attention to. How I respond to something. This is my responsibility. I'd say that between stimulus and response lies responsibility.

If I get triggered by something. How I react to this is both my free will. A freedom of choice that nobody can take away even if they take everything else. But this is also my responsibility. I am responsible for my thoughts and emotions, my values and my attitude.

The elites have gone to great lengths to influence us. Have limitless amounts of pornography available online... Not a coincidence. It is also not a coincidence the P people are rich. And I am not seeing Gabe making any profit by doing what is good for society. That is by design.

Now to answer.

We each have a lot of sexual energy. Even in just plain 3D sense. Semen is a special type of cell. It has the ability to create life (half of it anyway). So this is extremely powerful stuff. It takes a whole lot of energy for the body to produce high quality semen. What happens with this energy .... is ultimately ... my responsibility.

Do I dump the semen in a paper tissue to then dump in trash? What does that signal? That my sexual energy is garbage? That my sexual energy belongs to the trash?

Sexual energy belongs to me. Should stay inside. Or to be used for "love making". This noFap thing is on point.

In my view it is soo hard because of all this insane amount of external influence. But at the end of the day. Do the semen stay inside or do they go to the trash can? This is my responsibility.

Made me realize. The semen don't belong to trash. I think we all view this just as a fluid. Like car oil fluid or olive oil or whatever. But what if we start looking at this as something that is alive? Like something that was part of our living consciousness and now this living part of us is going to the trash? Really? We throw part of ourselves in the trash?

Wish you well Phineas 808.
EW
 

Phineas 808

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I consider myself responsible for where I put my attention to. How I respond to something. This is my responsibility. I'd say that between stimulus and response lies responsibility.

If I get triggered by something. How I react to this is both my free will. A freedom of choice that nobody can take away even if they take everything else. But this is also my responsibility. I am responsible for my thoughts and emotions, my values and my attitude.

Very Frankl of you, lol...! This is good stuff. Because you not only express the limitations of free-will (terms and limits apply), but you also show a very important dynamic in habit change, and that is the empty space between cue and response, and that in that empty space is the key to our victory, our recovery, our reboot.

In that empty space, too, as you said, is our responsibility.

Spot-on, too, about the fun playground (prison) that the super-rich have created for us, tailor made toward our self-destruction. I've been musing on that for a while now, how that, like the porn industry, social media and big-tech have purposely designed their platforms specifically to cater toward our baser natures. They understand addiction and habit, and have designed these things to literally addict us to their wares.

It perhaps is no big surprise that my own victories of late are an (at least) indirect result of my habit-changes around use of social media, and of the iPhone in general.

Seeing the ejaculatory fluids as something precious, as life, as a part of our very selves is very interesting and important. In some circles, they'll use this 'stuff' for magical workings, and as you're aware in Hinduism (semen retention), and Taoism too, utilizes this.

Seeing this as sacred is another way of seeing yourself as sacred, as the Temple of the Sacred. And it will help in appreciating and enjoying the purity of walking in harmony with this truth.
 

EarthWalker

Respected Member
tailor made toward our self-destruction

Nicely put.

Day 4.

Set the alarm for 7 AM. Took me 8 minutes to go to the phone to cancel the alarm. Then I spent 1 hour just browsing some cat memes on the phone. Then I got up at around 8 AM. Still a whole lot better than getting up at 10 AM.

I'll try to to better tomorrow. Today I can improve on the bed time routine.

EW
 
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