Rebooting trough self-parenting

ShadeTrenicin

Well-Known Member
Lust. What is the added value of lust?

Letting go of P was/is hard for me because there is this feeling of loss. Like giving something valuable up.

But is lust, P really valuable? What is the highest outcome that can be had from P?

I think I just changed something in my value system. By seeing lust and P as not valuable. I am having it a whole lot easier time to let it go.

The way society is conditioned, lust in some ways is attributed to success. And purity to failure. Now purity is present as - not having pleasure. This is totally inaccurate.

Lust vs Purity. What gives the highest outcome?

I think purity very much has pleasure for a partner in a loving relationship. Something solid. Unlike lust that is always fleeting, the best is always around the corner, the best P scene is just around the corner,...

Seeing P as something of low value. This is helpful. Really, what is the highest outcome P can bring me?

Is it valuable to my life if I dismiss P scene right away or if it is very sticky and keeps coming back, Is it valuable to my life if I just redirect my attention to my heart?

I'll start looking at redirecting my energy to the heart as something valuable and looking at P as something of very low value.

EW
Hey EW,

I want to comment on this a little. Especially about the lust. Perhaps it helps if you can be more specific about what you mean with lust. Because lust in itself can be defined as either a sexual desire or as an exaggarated sort of affection.

The sexual desire lust is a perfectly healthy function of our body and one that is needed for the perpetuation of our species, while the other is a non healthy one that leads to negative experiences.

So I don't know in which context you are talking but I hope the non healthy affection sort. I say this out of concern as you sometimes see men who vilify everything that has to do with sexual attraction because that is the only way for them to create control over their addiction. This in itself can then lead to misguided constructs about sexuality that can possibly harm them in a way different to P-addiction.


Good luck my friend
 

EarthWalker

Well-Known Member
Thanks man.

Yeah, one of the biggest helps is working on self-acceptance. Everything is valid. Going beyond good and evil. Everything is valid, everything is "pure". Just some stuff lead to suffering and some to freedom.

In the morning got some MO urges. Instead of resisting. I just M'ed a little. It was enough.

EW
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
Because lust in itself can be defined as either a sexual desire or as an exaggarated sort of affection.

Good pointer, Shade. Taking it outside of the realm of morality (which has its own set of questions), lust for me is taking the attraction toward a woman's beauty beyond mere appreciation- which is normal and healthy- into a craving that seems in my case to be based on an emotional neediness, or even a reaction toward some inward anxiety.

Some people bite their nails as a nervous habit, whereas I might lust after women in public. But I try and differentiate between lust and normal attraction/appreciation.

'Know Thyself'.
 

EarthWalker

Well-Known Member
Ended up with a quick MO later in the day. Not ideal. But you start where you are at.

April report:
6th: Wet dream
12th: Mindful fantasies (vanilla) and MO to sensation only.
14th: Watched P but didn't MO to it just watched, later in the day MO to sensation only
20th: MO quick (light vanilla fantasy)
23th: MO quick (light vanilla fantasy)
 

EarthWalker

Well-Known Member
This is gold and just confirms what I have been discovering. Our mental mind is limited. The thoughts cannot produce anything new. Problems in this case P addiction cannot be solved using mental means / thought process. An improved thoughts process is still very limited.

The biggest hurdle with working with emotions is lack of acceptance. Feeling it.
The biggest hurdle with working with the thoughts is thinking we can solve the problem with thinking yet we only end up looping. Solution is simple in principle. Let go of the thoughts. Easier said than done.

 

EarthWalker

Well-Known Member
Doing well in terms of P.

In terms of breaktroughts:

1. was about acceptance. Just accepting my thoughts and feelings made P addiction 80% easier to manage
2. was about raising awareness, becoming more aware of my thoughts and become aware of thinking sooner, being able to catch myself = AHA! I am thinking P right away. This maybe makes P yet again easier to manage. Not sure about %.
3. is about being able to shift my awareness from the mental mind to the other parts of my being. No wonder I am burnout and have problems relaxing -> as I tried to relax my mental mind using mental means this only produced more tension. But just shifting awareness outside thinking is a great relaxation. I don't need to think!

edit. Half a breaktrough:

Instead of wanting to clear myself of anger or lust, just turn down the volume. Turn down the volume of negative emotions and turn on the volume of awareness.

Instead of wanting to be clear of lust. Just turn down the volume and turn up the volume of awareness.
 
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EarthWalker

Well-Known Member
Doing well. Had a P dream. I remember M'ing in dream time. Woke up. Luckily no mess in the sheets.

I'd prefer if I got more control of my dream time. It will happen. My dream recall is getting better. As I remember at least some of my dreams practically every day.

Some slight chaser in the morning due to the M dream. But am able to easily handle it.

EW
 

EarthWalker

Well-Known Member

This transformation is done via redirection.

We observe and we channel from what gives negative outcomes to something neutral or something that gives positive outcomes.

Transformation = action of redirecting negative impulses into something positive. We channel negative to positive.

Like for example when a P scene comes up. I can sublimate this thought by redirecting my attention to the spiritual heart and as an alchemical process just wait until it is completed. The P thought just dissipates/subliminates?

Interesting.
 

EarthWalker

Well-Known Member
Feeling flatlined and a lot of apathy. Afaik this is quite common in the reboot phase. I am actually glad. This means that the reboot is working fine. I'll get over this when I'll get over it. I am not going to put any expectations on it in terms of timing. When it is time it will happen.

Sorry I don't post much on your journals. Going to just chill in the background for the most part.

Have a great start of the weekend everyone!
EW
 
I am actually glad. This means that the reboot is working fine. I'll get over this when I'll get over it. I am not going to put any expectations on it in terms of timing. When it is time it will happen.
Great attitude Earthwalker, showing a lot of mental strength
You'll get through to the other side soon enough, and you have the drive to stick it out 💪
 

EarthWalker

Well-Known Member
Was in HALT state yesterday. Gone to bed at 1 AM and had a Zoom at 6AM, was a bit groggy the whole day. Some P thoughts came up, but was somewhat easy to manage.

Today passed some model in shiny clothing on the street. I used to get very lustful for women in shiny clothing. But I am working on to just appreciate beauty and find it attractive but not lustful. I still have to meditate on this some more. Anyway.

Here is to self mastery. I think I am coming up with a system that is working very well. It has 4 main pillars.

1. Acceptance in Law of One style. Realization that everything is One - part of one single organism and if I am denying or judging something I am in fact denying and judging myself.

2. Dis-identification from the forms (I am not my thoughts, I am not my body, I am not my emotions) + raise of awareness. Becoming more aware of my thoughts and emotions and body sensations. Being able to separate myself (awareness) from the form (intelligence + energy). Becoming more aware of being aware. Yes I am also thoughts, emotions and body, but I am also not.

3. Shifting awareness outside the mental mind to the spiritual heart. Working with awareness is critically important. At first we are thinking about thinking but then it is possible to get glimpses of awareness and awareness of awareness. A basic example is becoming aware of the canvas that the movie is being projected on. Like if we go to the cinema, we don't notice the canvas, we just notice the movie, but in life - our true self is more the canvas (awareness) than the movie (thoughts, emotions) as our thoughts and emotions change but the canvas/awareness is still - ever present - never changing.

4. Trust and Surrender to the process. I can just let my spiritual heart reorganize my thoughts and emotions. I don't have to have all the answers in fact - the mental mind cannot think anything new - it is very limited part of my whole self. So can just let go of mental control, trying to control the outcome. But the over identification with the mental mind is shifted in step 3, in step 4 it is next level of letting go and trusting the outcome. Trusting that everything is perfect, everything is unfolding the way it is suppose to be. It is just the limitation of our mental mind that doesn't see the whole picture.

This P addiction is extreme level of difficulty that requires extreme level of self-mastery to integrate back into wholeness.

Psychology + Awareness work (beyond Mindfulness).

Wishing everyone well. This is one extremely tough cookie. Here is to extreme levels of self-mastery.

EW
 

EarthWalker

Well-Known Member
April concluded with (in order of severity):
1x P watching "session"
+ 1x P-sub watching "mini session" (didn't report but clicked on attractive female reporter youtube video, got pretty turned on - P levels of arousal)
4x MO to light vanilla fantasy and sensation
1x wet dreams
at least 2x P dreams that did not result in NE/wet dreams.

Overall not too bad. Getting there. I feel like I can let go of P altogether. But some MO is still on the table for now.

EW
 

EarthWalker

Well-Known Member
Welcome to May!

So it begins. Had a P dream (non NE). Did a short MO session to light vanilla fantasy / sensation only. The O itself didn't feel all that spectacular. It was nice...but nothing close to PMO level of intensity / stimulations. Like not even 1/10 close.

May report:
1st - light MO session (vanilla, sensation only, 5-10 min)

Got an idea, instead of just reporting a PMO or MO, it is possible to see it as a session. Something that has duration and not something that is an instant event. I'll add approximate times to my reports.

Wishing everyone much success in May! Here is to becoming masters of our thoughts, emotions and body!

EW
 

EarthWalker

Well-Known Member
I think I got it. Time will tell if I really got it.

The reason why Wim Hof method works for some, the reason why Yoga Asanas works for some. Is that the point, the principle, the trick, the key is to get out of our mental mind.

We can shift our awareness outside the mental mind, be in our body. This is why I used to love rock climbing in the mountains (quite dangerous) - the whole situation forces you to get out of the mental mind and be in the body, be in the now moment, you don't have the "time" to be mulling over past events or worrying about the future. You need to be in the body in the now moment.

I am sure each of you remembers a moment where you were outside the thinking mind. Be it in the body, be it in the emotions. Outside the mental.

Maybe one thing that goes similar to P. There is also this mindless state in PMO that is quite relaxing -> being outside the mental mind.

But we can put our awareness outside the mental mind without cold exposure, without climbing on a cliff in the middle of nowhere, without following some yoga system, without getting mindless with PMO.

Possible to do with just meditation. Maybe this is part of mindfulness, maybe not. I am calling this beyond mindfulness. You shift your awareness outside the mental mind. Came across this guy Rupert Spira some good interviews on YT.

Some P thoughts and P emotions come up (sexual bliss feeling) this morning. What works is I got out of my mental mind. I don't try to negotiate this on mental means. I don't try to solve the problem on the mental level. I just shift awareness to a different place - my spiritual heart.

Not doing P is as simple as shifting awareness outside the mental mind.

If the P sensations are strong this system I am coming up with isn't super easy to do it due to the temptation of sexual bliss feelings - but it is straight forward to do - and it works every time.

EW
 
We can shift our awareness outside the mental mind, be in our body. This is why I used to love rock climbing in the mountains (quite dangerous) - the whole situation forces you to get out of the mental mind and be in the body, be in the now moment, you don't have the "time" to be mulling over past events or worrying about the future. You need to be in the body in the now moment.
Definitely agree with this
I think it's why I like skiing & guitar so much
In both, it's difficult to focus on anything except the immediate task so it forces you to be in the moment

But the beyond mindfulness you speak of sounds ideal
I guess it takes a lot of practice to achieve though?

Thanks for the insightful post brother! (y)
 
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