Rebooting trough self-parenting

EarthWalker

Well-Known Member
Doing well in terms of P.

Feeling quite a lot of apathy and feeling like sleeping all the time. Feeling like having a hang over. I'd view this as sign of progress. Part of the withdrawals I'd speculate.

I am serious about noP. Also getting more serious about noFap while I am still a little on the fence about it.

Will see about the nofap. Double digits. It is day 11 I think?

I find just some very light masturbation in terms of some strokes here and there helps a lot with dissipating the built up tension.

Missing on social connections. Been thinking. For people in 30s+. The primary social connections is family life in terms of having a stable partner and either having kids or planning on kids.

One friend I have he is busy all the time with kids, wife and corporate job. Also remembering all of my coworkers, they are busy with taking care of their children, planning family trips, etc.
 

EarthWalker

Well-Known Member
MO'ed to vanilla, feels a lot different than PMO. Less exciting, less addicting. Had some chaser after.

Interesting the chaser and the desire to MO are quite similar. I can learn to not engage with this.
 

EarthWalker

Well-Known Member
May report:
1st - light MO session (vanilla, sensation only, 5-10 min)
5th - M exploration (1-2 hours?)
6th - MO exploration (got limp for vanilla, 5-10 min morning)
18th - MO (vanilla, 10 min morning)
 

EarthWalker

Well-Known Member
All of a sudden feel very tempted to just browse P. Not even to watch it but to just check out if there are some new movies in the category of Fetish B.

Oh boy...just rolling my eyes. Quite relentless.

Well, it makes sense. I invested a whole lot of energy into P. It make sense that there is a huge inertia still. Like a huge oil tanker, it takes time to come to a stop even after the engines are turned off...not to talk about how long it takes to make a turn.

Much luck to everyone!

EW
 
Well, it makes sense. I invested a whole lot of energy into P. It make sense that there is a huge inertia still. Like a huge oil tanker, it takes time to come to a stop even after the engines are turned off...not to talk about how long it takes to make a turn.
Nice metaphor - helpful for explaining why it takes time
Stay strong and keep up the great progress EW! 💪
 

EarthWalker

Well-Known Member
Doing well in terms of P. P is now just annoying. Like "holding space" for this stuff - makes me annoyed. Like felt practically the whole evening this urge to go and take a "peek" - check what is new - just look at the thumbnails.

But also noticed. I can focus my attention to heal let say the spine. Focus on a specific vertibre. It feels nice - even if nothing happens. Feels a whole lot better than watching P. What a waste P was.

Feeling just very much annoyed with everything. Myself, the world, life, past, present, future, etc.

But this is fine. Hold space and it will pass.

Onwards and upwards. Surfs up!
 

EarthWalker

Well-Known Member
Came across an arousing imagine while on main stream website. Made me look up nofap timeline. Came across this.

There are some triggering thumbnails on his channel so be warned.


More or less I see it similar.

Got surprised by the intensity of the arousal I felt at being exposed at that image. It is just clothed woman. WTF.

1: 1-10 days: Desperation meets enthusiasm.
2: 14-21 days: Prone to Relapse
3: 1-3 months: The ship is sailing.
4: 3-4 months: Are you really sure?
5: 6 months: This is who I am.
6: 5-7 months: Holy shit.
7: 7+: What is next.

This is what gets me. Like flatline...feeling like apathy, annoyed or whatever, then all of a sudden this rush and urge to PMO.

I've been there before. You trained for this bro. You got this. Pat on the back. Relax. Accept. Discern. Disengage. Refocus. Recenter. Surrender to the process.

Well. Here is a test. Will see how far my system will get me.

Surfs up. Wave incoming.

I love that we guys are relentlness with the reboot. We get to try and try again until we get it.

Here is to never giving up. We will do this as long as it takes.

Love and awareness!
 

EarthWalker

Well-Known Member
Ended up MOing yesterday a little later after getting triggered a bit by the image (non-nude, fully clothed) on main stream site.

The MO to vanilla I find different than PMO. There is a whole lot less mental component to it. Like drastically reduced. Just this physical/emotional component. The body would really like to do PIV sex.

Like mentioned before, I haven't really done much MO without P so I am allowing this to see how it feels. It is different. I find it less addicting.

Getting P scenes here and there. Now I just find it annoying. No. I am not going to watch this.

What I am leaving on the table and allowing is MO to vanilla or MO just to sensation.

May report:
1st - light MO session (vanilla, sensation only, 5-10 min)
5th - M exploration (1-2 hours?)
6th - MO exploration (got limp for vanilla, 5-10 min morning)
18th - MO (vanilla, 10 min morning)
20th - MO (vanilla, 10-15 min afternoon)

Onwards an upwards. Hopefully May will be a month fully without any P watching (the only P would be accidental exposure from main stream websites - but that is all clothed, non-nude).

4 MOs so far. Not too bad. Hopefully I didn't miss any. If I mix up my days or forget about something it is due to my own brain fog/forgetfulness.
 

Phineas 808

Respected Member
1: 1-10 days: Desperation meets enthusiasm.
2: 14-21 days: Prone to Relapse
3: 1-3 months: The ship is sailing.
4: 3-4 months: Are you really sure?
5: 6 months: This is who I am.
6: 5-7 months: Holy shit.
7: 7+: What is next.

I found this timeline more or less accurate (but, like you, I appreciate Scandinavian Bob's stuff the best). I think that's exactly where I've seemed to trip up after hitting my 139 day streak and my 156 day (-2x > MO) streak was in the 3 - 4 month phase of "Are you really sure?"

It was in the first case ambivalence with p-memory, and in the second case it was a reestablished bad habit of p-subs and edging that ended that streak...

Of course the question, Are you really sure? is from the beast-brain, and is just a thought/urge to be dismissed.

Will hopefully keep this strange place of ambivalence in mind, should it arise again at the 3 - 4 month period. Thanks for posting this!
 

EarthWalker

Well-Known Member
Wet dream. Don't remember anything.

May report:
1st - light MO session (vanilla, sensation only, 5-10 min)
5th - M exploration (1-2 hours?)
6th - MO exploration (got limp for vanilla, 5-10 min morning)
18th - MO (vanilla, 10 min morning)
20th - MO (vanilla, 10-15 min afternoon)
23th - NO, Wet dream, don't remember anything
 

Onmyway19

Active Member
Flatline. This is great. This is trivial sailing.

What is the downside of flatline is the surprised. Out of no where extreme intense urges. This is the biggest problem in my experience. Easily get caught off guard and the ship capsizes and then try again.
Be the captain of that ship and sail to calmer waters my man. I know its easier said than done, but you have the tools and the support here. You got this brother
 
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