Rebooting trough self-parenting


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Wow, I am tasting how freedom from P looks like. It is great. You can just enjoy seeing some attractive ladies acknowledge it and move on.

Also came across of some group dancing video on YT. I could just enjoy the dance performance without getting into P.

This is actually a whole lot better. I am not missing out on anything. This P makes me believe I am missing out on something by not indulging in fantasy. The opposite is true.

Here is to freedom!

Wishing everyone well. Much love.


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The reality of PMO is that's it not and never was as good as we remember it...never. The memory/thought/concept of it is better than the reality, always was and always will be.

There's nothing to miss, there never was. The almighty, euphoric PMO in our memory doesn't actually exist, it's just a lie the addict brain uses to make us lapse.

The only way for us to go is forward, towards freedom. Here's to it!

Keep up the great work EarthWalker!


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Funny, today I was at a seniors home. There was a staff member who had a nude woman tattooed on her arm.

No issues for me. Smooth sailing. Becoming better and better sailor.

Surfs up brothers!

re: mindfulness. I'd say this whole word is wrong. Mind_full_ness does't work. What works is going beyond the mental mind. The objective is mind_empty_ness. Becoming aware of awareness not the mind. Aware-full-ness with mind-empty-ness. This makes a huge - huge difference.

Awareness up, Love up! Recenter to the heart.
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I like the chart from this website.



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Saying NO to false pleasures. This is probably the hardest for me to master. But I am getting better.

Huh. Guys. We can get better at anything we wish. ANYTHING!

I choose to get better at saying NO to false pleasures. Me watching videos of sexy ladies on the screen is FALSE pleasure. It is not what I really want. It is not what my soul wants.

Me fantasizing about some girl I see at a coffee shop is again FALSE pleasure. Not what I want.

Obviously I am still human. I am not saying I should not be having any such thoughts. What I am saying, there is a huge difference between

A) Acknowledging a beautiful girl, spending a few seconds on the thoughts of sexual nature if they arise and then moving on and living here and now.
B) not moving on but still being caught in fantasy and living there and then.

B is the problem. A is "normal".


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May completed.

I MOed on 29 and 30th. To vanilla/sensation only. Again as mentioned before feels a whole lot less intense and the chaser is not really there as much. The highest of highs are quite lower with MO than with PMO.

May report:
1st - light MO session (vanilla, sensation only, 5-10 min)
5th - M exploration (1-2 hours?)
6th - MO exploration (got limp for vanilla, 5-10 min morning)
18th - MO (vanilla, 10 min morning)
20th - MO (vanilla, 10-15 min afternoon)
23th - NO, Wet dream, don't remember anything
29th - MO vanilla 5-15 min short (had a MO dream that day as well)
30th - MO vanilla 5-15 min short

6x MO. 0x porn viewing. 0x PMO.


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Welcome June!

What would I like for June.

Is to focus more on the physical plane, I did quite a lot of work on myself, on the psyche, also multi-dimensionally (think chakras, but there is a lot more than just that). I am feeling much better about myself.

But I live alone in my apartment, very minimal social life. I go for coffee 1x per week with a friend this is about it. Also no job.

I'll start a job in July again. Not looking forward to office work but it will be good in terms of getting out of the apartment.

What I'd really like is to
o) find some people to do physical activities with - running group, drumming circle, etc.

So ideally my inner work will start to show in the outer.

Wishing everyone great success on the journey!


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Progress, now what I am dealing with is thoughts about women I see in real life and not on the screen.

I went for coffee with a friend. There was an attractive woman sitting across at the coffee shop. I am having a bit of a problem letting it go.

Well I consider it a major improvement from being caught in thoughts about some P scenes / P fetish scenes. To just some vanilla thoughts about a girl I saw in a coffee shop.

Unrolling back the addiction.


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Why quitting is so difficult. Imho, we need to walk twice the distance.

We are at the road to the right, but we want to be on the road to the left. We can't just simply cross over, but need to walk back then up.

Not to different if you do mountaineering, if you loose your way, you are climbing up mountain P but you want to go to mountain H(appy) first you need to climb down the mountain P then start climbing the H mountain.

I am getting some P scenes that I watched in high school. Unrolling this addiction.


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Bombarded with P scenes yesterday night. It went fine.

In the morning I peeked for a few moments - just made a yuck face on my face and just wondered - wtf I used to get turned on by this? Get me the F outta here.

After I just MOed to sensation only.

Will see if the same P scenes that came up this time around will come up again in the future. I tried something on them. So will see.

June report.
4th June
- really quick peek of P (get a bit repulsed even - I used to PMO to this? WTF!?), MO to sensation only (x2, afternoon and evening)
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Respected Member
This might be potentially triggering, I get aroused if women wear a particular type of clothing. I am giving it some more thought:

Went for a walk in a touristy place, pretty hot weather, people dressed for summer.

There was this woman in this skin tight wet look leggings. I am like loosing my mind. WTF!?, Why do I find women who wear this kind of leggings so attractive/arousing?

I just googled some stuff like "why are leggings arousing" and some various combinations, I like this answer, it makes sense.

Maybe because they highlight a woman's rear end in a way that essentially looks like an improved version of her naked ass.
A woman's naked ass is a key visual mating indicator for males and is genetically wired into men's brains.

This makes so much sense to me.


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Yesterday, I consider a small lapse. I peeked P 2 times both < 1 minute. MOed to sensation only later.

From the image in this post, I think, this might be a good distinction between a lapse (small bump) and relapse (cliff).

Today in the morning, some P thoughts came up, also about peeking again, I applied some discipline and refined my tools some more, so moving on.