Funny, today I was at a seniors home. There was a staff member who had a nude woman tattooed on her arm.
No issues for me. Smooth sailing. Becoming better and better sailor.
Surfs up brothers!
re: mindfulness. I'd say this whole word is wrong. Mind_full_ness does't work. What works is going beyond the mental mind. The objective is mind_empty_ness. Becoming aware of awareness not the mind. Aware-full-ness with mind-empty-ness. This makes a huge - huge difference.
Recovering from addiction takes time and lapses and relapses can sometimes happen. Experiencing a lapse or a relapse is not a sign of ‘weakness’, ‘failure’ or inability to recover. Rather they are signs that old ways of coping need to be replaced with new ones. The most important thing to...
Saying NO to false pleasures. This is probably the hardest for me to master. But I am getting better.
Huh. Guys. We can get better at anything we wish. ANYTHING!
I choose to get better at saying NO to false pleasures. Me watching videos of sexy ladies on the screen is FALSE pleasure. It is not what I really want. It is not what my soul wants.
Me fantasizing about some girl I see at a coffee shop is again FALSE pleasure. Not what I want.
Obviously I am still human. I am not saying I should not be having any such thoughts. What I am saying, there is a huge difference between
A) Acknowledging a beautiful girl, spending a few seconds on the thoughts of sexual nature if they arise and then moving on and living here and now.
B) not moving on but still being caught in fantasy and living there and then.
I MOed on 29 and 30th. To vanilla/sensation only. Again as mentioned before feels a whole lot less intense and the chaser is not really there as much. The highest of highs are quite lower with MO than with PMO.
1st - light MO session (vanilla, sensation only, 5-10 min)
5th - M exploration (1-2 hours?)
6th - MO exploration (got limp for vanilla, 5-10 min morning)
18th - MO (vanilla, 10 min morning)
20th - MO (vanilla, 10-15 min afternoon)
23th - NO, Wet dream, don't remember anything
29th - MO vanilla 5-15 min short (had a MO dream that day as well)
30th - MO vanilla 5-15 min short
Is to focus more on the physical plane, I did quite a lot of work on myself, on the psyche, also multi-dimensionally (think chakras, but there is a lot more than just that). I am feeling much better about myself.
But I live alone in my apartment, very minimal social life. I go for coffee 1x per week with a friend this is about it. Also no job.
I'll start a job in July again. Not looking forward to office work but it will be good in terms of getting out of the apartment.
What I'd really like is to
o) find some people to do physical activities with - running group, drumming circle, etc.
So ideally my inner work will start to show in the outer.
Why quitting is so difficult. Imho, we need to walk twice the distance.
We are at the road to the right, but we want to be on the road to the left. We can't just simply cross over, but need to walk back then up.
Not to different if you do mountaineering, if you loose your way, you are climbing up mountain P but you want to go to mountain H(appy) first you need to climb down the mountain P then start climbing the H mountain.
I am getting some P scenes that I watched in high school. Unrolling this addiction.
This might be potentially triggering, I get aroused if women wear a particular type of clothing. I am giving it some more thought:
Went for a walk in a touristy place, pretty hot weather, people dressed for summer.
There was this woman in this skin tight wet look leggings. I am like loosing my mind. WTF!?, Why do I find women who wear this kind of leggings so attractive/arousing?
I just googled some stuff like "why are leggings arousing" and some various combinations, I like this answer, it makes sense.
Maybe because they highlight a woman's rear end in a way that essentially looks like an improved version of her naked ass.
A woman's naked ass is a key visual mating indicator for males and is genetically wired into men's brains.