Rebooting trough self-parenting

EarthWalker

Respected Member
You have great awareness - now to just keep that in the face of the storm! Stay strong! :)
Thank you. Spot on. The storms are where my sexual energy is very high. I noticed around day 10 are days particularly high in sexual energy and then around days 40-50 is another where sexual energy overpowers me a lot easier than other other days.

I am trying another approach for dealing with sexual energy:

Connect to Intuition, be Humble (not toxic humility, but just accepting my limits and understanding my place) and have Discipline.

Right now my intuition is telling me in regards to the elevated sexual energy I am feeling to do one particular QiGong exercise. Very simple. I just use my breath to intend to move the energy from the lower dantian to the middle and the the upper in various combinations the point being making like a strong connection between the 3 dantian centers. Feeling like not doing this exercise as I find it a bit boring. This is where discipline and humility come in. My logical mind is not smarter than my intuition.

The beautify of working with intuition is that it is custom tailored for everyone. Gives you what is the best for you at the given moment.

Let's keep on sailing and surfing bros, much love.

⛵🏄‍♂️
 

EarthWalker

Respected Member
2 weeks no P.

Yesterday was day 13 and is a test. I passed it. Maybe I even levelled up. Time will tell. Day counting has its merits. I can objectively measure how well I am doing.

P offers a false sense of comfort. Like a dark mother. Nurishes you by draining your life force but giving you a high in pleasure. I can say no to this. I need to be nurished by my own life force - the real divine mother not the dark mother. Mother of darkness - P or The Dark Mother. Not sure which name I like better. But find it accurate at this time to explain P. Thanks, but no thanks.

I started working a job again today. Surprisingly it wasn't very stressful or maybe I am just better at handling thoughts and emotions.

I'd prefer if I had a friend to celebrate starting the job with or even better a partner. But got to start where you are at. I can celebrate on my own. Bought myself a small piece of cake. Yay.

Onwards and upwards.

Wishing everyone well.

🏄‍♂️ ⛵ 💜
 

EarthWalker

Respected Member
P can be viewed as an enemy or as a teacher or as many different "things". But either something that is negative, positive or neutral. Seen as something to oppress or depress us. Or something that makes us level up validate ourselves as masters of out beliefs, thoughts, emotions and actions.

Sometimes it gets a bit too much and we get overwhelmed at we see it as an enemy. Nothing wrong with that.

Doing well. Sunday was pretty big. As the only time I struggle now is if there are medium or stronger sexual urges present. But I was able to hold space for this and not get caught up in wanting more of it.

This is by far the most difficult skill to master in terms of holding space for me. To hold space for sexual energy from a space of neutrality and (more authentic) love. And not trip on wanting it more.

Wishing everyone well.

Let's become the masters of our beliefs, thoughts, emotions and actions.
 

EarthWalker

Respected Member
Had a P dream. Super moon influence?

Anyway, it was exactly as I were on a P site. I remember like I needed to login with username and password to make the video play. I typed wrong password access denied then I wake up I think? or the dream stopped.

I'll mark this down as healing.

Hope everyone is doing well. I have a theory that when there is full moon there is more relapses. I wrote some emails to relapse tracker software companies to share with me counter reset statistics. Only one replied that they will get back to me - but they didn't - (yet).

This could be used to either prove or disprove my theory that around full moon days there are more relapses than usual.

Anyway. Keep on surfing and sailing. 🏄‍♂️ ⛵
 

EarthWalker

Respected Member
Had a P dream a day ago. I'll treat this as a sign of healing.

Revalue

I am finding this to be one of the necessary ingredients for success. Do I value more peace of mind or getting mind controlled and energetically drained by P? What brings more peace, love, joy and happiness in my life?

Seeing and feeling as not-doing-P as higher value option than doing-P is super important.
 

EarthWalker

Respected Member
Relapse on Friday 22th. The sexual energy got a bit too much to handle and I ended up looking up some mindful P, sexual tantra videos. This is still P. Then watched some P but it didn't really do it for me.

Also noticed for the first time the pent up hidden shame I hold in the body around MOing and PMOing. Each time I'd PMO or MO some shame got generated and stored in the body. This is making my body tired also blocks the sexual energy flow.

So I am working on processing some shame and guilt regarding P.

Until I process some of the shame, guilt and unworthiness the sexual energy is going to pile up and cause me problems.

As I am doing the emotional healing, I am noticing it is taking longer for the sexual energy to start to become a problem. This time around it was just short of 4 week mark.

Also it is getting easier and easier to deal with the chaser.

Also levelling up in my mindfulness practice.

It was basically smooth sailing until the sexual energy accumulated to a point it got very loud and wanted to leave the body. I have yet to master this.
 
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