EarthWalker
Respected Member
@Chris1986 Thanks. Appreciate it brother!
Rebooting trough self-parenting
- Thread starter EarthWalker
- Start date
EarthWalker
Respected Member
Been thinking. What is working for me:
1. Need to see P as fake. P is fake indeed. I think we can all reach consensus on this. This is an illusion. Just like action movies on TV. We all know it is fake. But with P our brain is tricked into thinking this is the real deal. Hard time seeing this as a Hollywood action movie. The people in P are technically actors and performers. Like in movies or theatre. So for me this is something that is becoming quite important to cultivate this skill of seeing P as fake.
2. Be willing to face life. This is the core I'd say. I doubt anyone who is truly happy with their life has a P problem. Life can be quite unjust, cruel and unforgiving. I'd say people coming from very bad families - bad in terms of - their parents didn't provide the necessary nourishment, values, structure, healthy boundaries, etc. Like when I see people who have their shit together tend to come from well off families. So it is easy to say, life is unjust, FML, let's just do P. But what is the alternative? Well. Face life. No shame in feeling overwhelmed with life and going with P. But I think we can reach consensus in that going with P just doesn't feel right. There is something innate in our psyche that just doesn't accept P. This is now who are we suppose to do. So what can we do? Stand up straight, clean your room, go to the guy, get fit, move on.
1. Need to see P as fake. P is fake indeed. I think we can all reach consensus on this. This is an illusion. Just like action movies on TV. We all know it is fake. But with P our brain is tricked into thinking this is the real deal. Hard time seeing this as a Hollywood action movie. The people in P are technically actors and performers. Like in movies or theatre. So for me this is something that is becoming quite important to cultivate this skill of seeing P as fake.
2. Be willing to face life. This is the core I'd say. I doubt anyone who is truly happy with their life has a P problem. Life can be quite unjust, cruel and unforgiving. I'd say people coming from very bad families - bad in terms of - their parents didn't provide the necessary nourishment, values, structure, healthy boundaries, etc. Like when I see people who have their shit together tend to come from well off families. So it is easy to say, life is unjust, FML, let's just do P. But what is the alternative? Well. Face life. No shame in feeling overwhelmed with life and going with P. But I think we can reach consensus in that going with P just doesn't feel right. There is something innate in our psyche that just doesn't accept P. This is now who are we suppose to do. So what can we do? Stand up straight, clean your room, go to the guy, get fit, move on.
EarthWalker
Respected Member
I like what this guy shared, feels pretty down to earth.
Chris1986
Active Member
1. Yeah P is a big performance and yeah its fake but i think something to be mindful is that the people "Performing" in P are real people who live real life. Obviously they are people in pain and many of them are probably porn/sex addicts themselves. Well just addicts in general I imagine. I think what I am trying to say yes view P as fake but maybe not go down the path of dehumanising people in it. I imagine that most of the performers would be doing something else if their lives were more settled or if their pain was addressed.
2. Yeah their is no shame in feeling overwhelmed. Life can be hard but it also can be great!
EarthWalker
Respected Member
Thanks @Chris1986 good reminder on point 1. Also reminds of me https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_trafficking
EarthWalker
Respected Member
I think I made some progress still. As I don't want to fight P. I want to just transmute/sublimate P in a harmonious way. No more fighting.
My understanding now is that my desire to engage with P is also related to lack of self-love. If I truly loved myself. Would I do P? Most probably not.
Also in terms of fetish P. In my understanding now there is some underlying self-hate involved.
Addressing self-hate and lack of self-love. Don't need to fight P. It just dissolves.
So I am working on sheeting my sword and calling it a day. Not there yet completely. But making progress.
I also have a theory that people who are coming from healthier family environments with minimal disfunction (like alcoholic, stressed out or absent parents). They have a whole lot easier time dealing with P addiction. In part I'd say there is less self-hate and less of a lack of self-love involved.
Coming back to my very first post on the journal. Out first understand of love comes from our parents at ages 1-7, (1-3 the most critical) in terms of loading up our understanding of love.
Thank you for reading. WIshing everyone much success on their respected journey.
EW
My understanding now is that my desire to engage with P is also related to lack of self-love. If I truly loved myself. Would I do P? Most probably not.
Also in terms of fetish P. In my understanding now there is some underlying self-hate involved.
Addressing self-hate and lack of self-love. Don't need to fight P. It just dissolves.
So I am working on sheeting my sword and calling it a day. Not there yet completely. But making progress.
I also have a theory that people who are coming from healthier family environments with minimal disfunction (like alcoholic, stressed out or absent parents). They have a whole lot easier time dealing with P addiction. In part I'd say there is less self-hate and less of a lack of self-love involved.
Coming back to my very first post on the journal. Out first understand of love comes from our parents at ages 1-7, (1-3 the most critical) in terms of loading up our understanding of love.
Thank you for reading. WIshing everyone much success on their respected journey.
EW
EarthWalker
Respected Member
Love to see more of this kind of YT channels popping up. Some common sense things you need to hear over and over again.
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Chris1986
Active Member
How you keeping @EarthWalker ?
EarthWalker
Respected Member
Hey man. Doing well in regards to P. Losing interest in P quite a lot.
As what you are sharing on your journal. I think this is what it comes to. Becoming at least somewhat proficient in dealing with personal relationships. Becoming proficient with stress management. Being able to be alone and also be able to work well with others. Becoming a well functioning individual and also a well functioning member of society. Coming to realize everything is important. Physical, mental, emotional, relationships, taking breaks, working. Too much work not good, to little work not good. Finding balance in all things. P just loses its charm.
Bought myself a new pan recently. I guess this is what being adult is all about. Being happy when you buy yourself a new pan or swap for new kitchen wipe for doing the dishes.
Overall feeling a bit bored. It is what it is.
Take care everyone
EW
Chris1986
Active Member
Yeah finding the right balance is important and its good to find time to truly connect to people but also give ourselves time to be mindful by ourselves and recharge. The world is a hectic place.
Me and my partner bought new dinner bowls the other day. Younger me would be judging current me for how excited I was about them haha.
How are you dealing with the boredom? If you like reading I recommend "a boy his dog and the end of the world" I finished it last week and really enjoyed it.
EarthWalker
Respected Member
Haha. We are officially adults now.
I am slowly adding some items on my schedule. Like going to yoga class. I'd like to add some more. Going to some class where we make some physical stuff. I took an art class a few years ago. I loved it. Maybe time to do it again. The finances are a bit strained but getting better.
EarthWalker
Respected Member
Not yet. Just yoga 1-2x per week. I am a bit short on finances at the moment. It will get better soon.
EarthWalker
Respected Member
Feeling it is time to try this again. I used some P here and there in the past few months. Still in consent with this. How about I just don't do it.
It is a big difference between using P daily and then using it occasionally but then there is a whole world of difference between not using it at all.
A great day to start the reboot again. It is probably day 2 or 3. Not sure. I can start with 1.
Day 1. I don't need P. My life is better of without P.
Onwards and upwards. Brothers.
Wishing each and everyone a great Christmas!
Thank you
It is a big difference between using P daily and then using it occasionally but then there is a whole world of difference between not using it at all.
A great day to start the reboot again. It is probably day 2 or 3. Not sure. I can start with 1.
Day 1. I don't need P. My life is better of without P.
Onwards and upwards. Brothers.
Wishing each and everyone a great Christmas!
Thank you
Chris1986
Active Member
Hey @EarthWalker how are you doing?
Blondie
Respected Member
Hope all is well @EarthWalker.
EarthWalker
Respected Member
Hello everyone. Just felt like doing a quick check in.
I am now somewhere around day 30 in both no P and no fap.
Overall it is getting easier and easier for me to stay away from P.
I don't want to reject P or label it as evil or bad. I want P to organically fade out of my life because it doesn't bring me the greatest happiness. This has started to happen.
Ancestral patterns I'd say are a real deal. This is a new avenue I am exploring for why P is so hard to shake.
I'd say it looks to be easier to redirect and let go of P thoughts when I also add the context of ancestral patterns. My male ancestral line - father, grandfather, great grandfather, etc. Energetically I've inherited issues from this guys. Like addiction issues as well. My father being quite the alcoholic. His father didn't had a great life either. I've inherited some of the beliefs and also proclivities towards addiction.
Onwards and upwards.
Wishing everyone the best on their journeys.
EW
I am now somewhere around day 30 in both no P and no fap.
Overall it is getting easier and easier for me to stay away from P.
I don't want to reject P or label it as evil or bad. I want P to organically fade out of my life because it doesn't bring me the greatest happiness. This has started to happen.
Ancestral patterns I'd say are a real deal. This is a new avenue I am exploring for why P is so hard to shake.
I'd say it looks to be easier to redirect and let go of P thoughts when I also add the context of ancestral patterns. My male ancestral line - father, grandfather, great grandfather, etc. Energetically I've inherited issues from this guys. Like addiction issues as well. My father being quite the alcoholic. His father didn't had a great life either. I've inherited some of the beliefs and also proclivities towards addiction.
Onwards and upwards.
Wishing everyone the best on their journeys.
EW
EarthWalker
Respected Member
Can Watching Porn Help Escape Meaninglessness?
A new study suggests perceived meaninglessness is predictive of greater pornography consumption.
www.psychologytoday.com
EarthWalker
Respected Member
It looks like being able to redirect away from P thoughts is the solution. And finding why you cannot let go of the P thoughts are the keys. As there are many reasons. Mostly emotional trauma (such as ACEs - adverse childhood experiences), ancestral patterns (dysfunctions in maternal or paternal lines - like a whole lot of alcoholism in both father and mother lines), lack of self knowledge and tools to deal with thoughts, emotions and beliefs.
Onwards and upwards
Onwards and upwards
This
!!Good to see you, EW...! It is difficult to not moralize P, for me given my background, but it is possible and even necessary to be nonjudgmental, especially as this helps toward the mindful approach we want.
And to organically have P fade out is the natural way to do it, to literally outgrow our addiction.
Not energizing thoughts, urges, or decisions made toward P, which only serves to make these things 'sticky' and hard to shake, is key. If something arises, observe without responding for or against, and let it fade on its own, is how we change.
Wishing you well!