Rebooting trough self-parenting

EarthWalker

Respected Member
Been thinking. What is working for me:

1. Need to see P as fake. P is fake indeed. I think we can all reach consensus on this. This is an illusion. Just like action movies on TV. We all know it is fake. But with P our brain is tricked into thinking this is the real deal. Hard time seeing this as a Hollywood action movie. The people in P are technically actors and performers. Like in movies or theatre. So for me this is something that is becoming quite important to cultivate this skill of seeing P as fake.

2. Be willing to face life. This is the core I'd say. I doubt anyone who is truly happy with their life has a P problem. Life can be quite unjust, cruel and unforgiving. I'd say people coming from very bad families - bad in terms of - their parents didn't provide the necessary nourishment, values, structure, healthy boundaries, etc. Like when I see people who have their shit together tend to come from well off families. So it is easy to say, life is unjust, FML, let's just do P. But what is the alternative? Well. Face life. No shame in feeling overwhelmed with life and going with P. But I think we can reach consensus in that going with P just doesn't feel right. There is something innate in our psyche that just doesn't accept P. This is now who are we suppose to do. So what can we do? Stand up straight, clean your room, go to the guy, get fit, move on.
 

Chris1986

Active Member
Been thinking. What is working for me:

1. Need to see P as fake. P is fake indeed. I think we can all reach consensus on this. This is an illusion. Just like action movies on TV. We all know it is fake. But with P our brain is tricked into thinking this is the real deal. Hard time seeing this as a Hollywood action movie. The people in P are technically actors and performers. Like in movies or theatre. So for me this is something that is becoming quite important to cultivate this skill of seeing P as fake.

2. Be willing to face life. This is the core I'd say. I doubt anyone who is truly happy with their life has a P problem. Life can be quite unjust, cruel and unforgiving. I'd say people coming from very bad families - bad in terms of - their parents didn't provide the necessary nourishment, values, structure, healthy boundaries, etc. Like when I see people who have their shit together tend to come from well off families. So it is easy to say, life is unjust, FML, let's just do P. But what is the alternative? Well. Face life. No shame in feeling overwhelmed with life and going with P. But I think we can reach consensus in that going with P just doesn't feel right. There is something innate in our psyche that just doesn't accept P. This is now who are we suppose to do. So what can we do? Stand up straight, clean your room, go to the guy, get fit, move on.
1. Yeah P is a big performance and yeah its fake but i think something to be mindful is that the people "Performing" in P are real people who live real life. Obviously they are people in pain and many of them are probably porn/sex addicts themselves. Well just addicts in general I imagine. I think what I am trying to say yes view P as fake but maybe not go down the path of dehumanising people in it. I imagine that most of the performers would be doing something else if their lives were more settled or if their pain was addressed.

2. Yeah their is no shame in feeling overwhelmed. Life can be hard but it also can be great!
 

EarthWalker

Respected Member
I think I made some progress still. As I don't want to fight P. I want to just transmute/sublimate P in a harmonious way. No more fighting.

My understanding now is that my desire to engage with P is also related to lack of self-love. If I truly loved myself. Would I do P? Most probably not.

Also in terms of fetish P. In my understanding now there is some underlying self-hate involved.

Addressing self-hate and lack of self-love. Don't need to fight P. It just dissolves.

So I am working on sheeting my sword and calling it a day. Not there yet completely. But making progress.

I also have a theory that people who are coming from healthier family environments with minimal disfunction (like alcoholic, stressed out or absent parents). They have a whole lot easier time dealing with P addiction. In part I'd say there is less self-hate and less of a lack of self-love involved.

Coming back to my very first post on the journal. Out first understand of love comes from our parents at ages 1-7, (1-3 the most critical) in terms of loading up our understanding of love.

Thank you for reading. WIshing everyone much success on their respected journey.

EW
 

EarthWalker

Respected Member
Love to see more of this kind of YT channels popping up. Some common sense things you need to hear over and over again.

 
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EarthWalker

Respected Member
How you keeping @EarthWalker ?
Hey man. Doing well in regards to P. Losing interest in P quite a lot.

As what you are sharing on your journal. I think this is what it comes to. Becoming at least somewhat proficient in dealing with personal relationships. Becoming proficient with stress management. Being able to be alone and also be able to work well with others. Becoming a well functioning individual and also a well functioning member of society. Coming to realize everything is important. Physical, mental, emotional, relationships, taking breaks, working. Too much work not good, to little work not good. Finding balance in all things. P just loses its charm.

Bought myself a new pan recently. I guess this is what being adult is all about. Being happy when you buy yourself a new pan or swap for new kitchen wipe for doing the dishes.

Overall feeling a bit bored. It is what it is.

Take care everyone
EW
 
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