Rebooting trough self-parenting

Phineas 808

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Maybe accurate to say I am sex slave. In the past you could see your slaver's face. Today you look in the mirror. This maybe sounds a bit more harsh than it is. But can't help but feel like there is some truth to this.

Maybe the term porn slave is quite accurate and on point.

I have a choice to either hold P thoughts in my mind or not. It is slightly more complicated than this as there are some emotional issues that needs to be processed and ancestral issues and some other issues etc. But for the most part it is true.

Hi, EW.

I know how this feels, and it has certainly manifested like this in my life and experience. At times, it may still show up like this. But this is all thought, feelings, and/or urges.

This is only how it appears to you, and with emotional energy we make it all the more 'true' and we find ourselves fighting with ourselves.

Truth: the brain is just innocently doing what brains do, bringing up certain behaviors that [seemed] to work in the past when we felt overwhelmed, stressed, upset, or have a busy mind.

Action: when feeling this way, just accept it nonjudgmentally, take a few deep breaths then go about your day. If it reappears, same non-response.

Of course viewing ourselves as a sex-slave or porn-slave is just an interpretation on a physiological misunderstanding (your brain trying to help you, though- thanks, but no thanks). And, of course, this interpretation can only disempower us.

As to your latest struggles, or p-thoughts arising, again, the lower brain is just trying to help you. But, whatever the issue (not necessary to discover), it will dissipate on its own, without any of the extras (p-subs or p, or even mo).

Blessings.
 

EarthWalker

Respected Member
Bad news, I relapsed on 4th March.
Good news. It is 5th April and I have been doing well in regards to P. 30 clean days.

30 days, no P, no M, no O, no nothing. I think it makes sense to go 150 days to reboot the system. Then introduce very occasional M in the absence of sex. But I am getting ahead of myself.

I had P dreams day 10, 20 and 30.

It is getting easier and easier to stay away and stay authentic. At times it is still slightly difficult. But this has been the easiest 30 days by far.
 
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EarthWalker

Respected Member
Psychology and energy work I find key.

I just recently came across this. I find this quite accurate.


good site for ideas:

this is also good

becoming your own psychologist is a must do in my experience.
 

EarthWalker

Respected Member
Took a bit of break from the forum. But the job is not yet done.

The words renewed resolve are coming up. Maybe this applies to me as well as others.

Psychologically I am doing better. I am working on myself. Learning about myself. Healing emotional issues etc. Overall I feel more calmer, less triggered, etc.

Porn is still an issue. I don't think I use it now as a coping mechanism to escape from life.

I'd say I use it out of habit and out of boredom. Ironically I am finding P a bit boring nowadays and it doesn't turn me on as it used to. I should opt for meditation instead of PMO. The choice is mine to make.

Each day is an opportunity to be better than the day before.

June is ending. July is unwritten. I'll do my best to choose the road less travelled (new habit).

See you in a month.

EW
 

EarthWalker

Respected Member

edit: better version of the 1st video


I decided to tape record myself. That internal voice I put on tape. Sounds like a straight b&*&£ when I listen to that m*&*£#£@.

lmao but true.

Levelling up. Need to start running.
 
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EarthWalker

Respected Member
On value:

We tend to over-value what we don't have and under-value what we have.

While technically not possible to be 100% neutral and objective in assigning value from our limited human mind in my view. We can re-evaluate the value we assigned to what we don't have and what we have.

I don't have to make it a big deal of not having ____ in my life. I am enough.

This doesn't mean I should not strive to have what I don't have or to neglect what I already have. This just means that I don't need to obsess or take a hit in self-esteem for not having something in my life.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Got tempted to google some sexy images.

Instead I did some "inner work" and got just very sad. It is what it is.

Onwards and upwards.
How I fuckin hate that we can easily see triggering stuff everywhere. But you did great, man! That's what we need to do. We can't dry the ocean but it's our choice whether we want to stay in the water or get out.
 

EarthWalker

Respected Member

some good ideas. Resonate with the sit in the mud and having someone to sit in the mud with you.

I’ll refine my idea in the future but 99% of P use is just need to sit in the mud instead of needing to fix how we feel.

sit in the mud = hold space.

What is also possible but takes a while to learn is to sit in the mud by yourself alone.

this is what looks to be working for me. When I feel triggered to use P in 99% of cases, underneath I need to just hold space for myself, be with the uncomfortable emotions, cry, then they are digested and the urge to use P leaves.

onwards and upwards

keep on the search until You find what works for you.
 

TryingHarder

Well-Known Member
I only noticed this thread today, but the title - rebooting through self-parenting - certainly touches a nerve. I have often thought of my addiction and depression as a misbehaving child that always wants to have things their way and throws a tantrum or pouts when that doesn't happen. Unlike a child, it's hard to shout at yourself, send yourself to your room, take away privileges, etc. 🙃
 

EarthWalker

Respected Member
I only noticed this thread today, but the title - rebooting through self-parenting - certainly touches a nerve. I have often thought of my addiction and depression as a misbehaving child that always wants to have things their way and throws a tantrum or pouts when that doesn't happen. Unlike a child, it's hard to shout at yourself, send yourself to your room, take away privileges, etc. 🙃
Yeah, self-parenting or parenting is very hard. Hope you find what works for you.
 
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