I really appreciate your thoughts above, EW!
You hit so many points on the head, I won't burden your journal by quoting the whole thing- though it deserves it!
What, beyond the surface dynamics of habit, drives the addiction? This has been my focus for a while now, the deeper emotional/spiritual needs.
I've come to the same or similar conclusions for me, as yourself. Intimacy, the need for it, is a major driver because these things were unmet for me in my 'family of origin'.
Of course, too, I've agreed with you before on the failure of a head-on approach, trying to fight our urges as they arise. It's best to nonjudgmentally dismiss them, breathing deeper until they pass, rinse and repeat. This has been so helpful in my own struggles.
I know on one level, and I'll often speak to this, is that triggers (or what I prefer to call 'cues') are not to be feared, or even avoided as such, but to be used- not to put ourselves in dangerous situations, but to teach us how to take back power, that we can outlast or dismiss any urge.
And again, each trigger, as you said, has something to teach us about ourselves. For example, Yes, a sexy magazine advertisement may serve as a cue, but a pretty lady smiling at me may be an even stronger cue, because of it's deeper emotional implications.
Finally, I want to say that at least for me, EW, even having a wife and family itself hasn't solved the intimacy issue for me. Even I'm getting along, love her, and am loved by her- and we have an okay time in bed- I still have deep emotional issues that are, quite frankly, outside of her ability to solve for me.
My answer is spirituality, as it seems to be for yourself also. So, I think a combination between human and divine relationships (however those are defined for the individual) may work hand-in-hand to help fulfill our deep emotional needs.