EarthWalker
Respected Member
Super tired. Some urges came yesterday to take a peek.
I used the "And then what?" and then did the meditation.
Feeling a lot of apathy in general. But this is to be expected. Comes with the reboot.
Today again some ideas to take a peek poped up. Nothing drastic.
This time I went with the "Compass" method. I know P. I've been there, done that. Now it is time for something new. If this means sailing trough 6+ months of apathy so be it. This is the direction I want to sail in. Away from P. Even if I don't know how exactly the future will look. The direction feels authentic.
Feeling like having a under the radar fever. This plandemic stuff isn't helping but calm sea never made for a good sailor. More likely it is the withdrawal symptoms than this CV Flu BS.
Will go take a nap. Oh, one extra thing wanted to mention....
I am feeling more self-contained in a sense I don't need a woman to feel complete. I'd like to have GF. But I am fine not having one. This neediness. With the work I am doing both psychological and spiritual. This lack consciousness, like I need a woman to be complete is becoming drastically muted down. In a way I am the love that I am looking for. This goes orthogonal to what Wolfman was saying. I don't want to be recluse. But at the same time I like feeling the love and being the love without having to have external validation or external support. Imho there is a big huge between being single with the attitude of resentment or lack vs being single with the attitude of abundance. At this point this is just speculation.
I'll get to prove my theory in the ultimate alchemy lab that is my body and my life. Will see how I'll sail this time around. Sailing Day 7. Last relapse 19.8.2021. So far on uninterrupted hardmode.
Wishing everyone a good day
Much love
EW
I used the "And then what?" and then did the meditation.
Feeling a lot of apathy in general. But this is to be expected. Comes with the reboot.
Today again some ideas to take a peek poped up. Nothing drastic.
This time I went with the "Compass" method. I know P. I've been there, done that. Now it is time for something new. If this means sailing trough 6+ months of apathy so be it. This is the direction I want to sail in. Away from P. Even if I don't know how exactly the future will look. The direction feels authentic.
Feeling like having a under the radar fever. This plandemic stuff isn't helping but calm sea never made for a good sailor. More likely it is the withdrawal symptoms than this CV Flu BS.
Will go take a nap. Oh, one extra thing wanted to mention....
I am feeling more self-contained in a sense I don't need a woman to feel complete. I'd like to have GF. But I am fine not having one. This neediness. With the work I am doing both psychological and spiritual. This lack consciousness, like I need a woman to be complete is becoming drastically muted down. In a way I am the love that I am looking for. This goes orthogonal to what Wolfman was saying. I don't want to be recluse. But at the same time I like feeling the love and being the love without having to have external validation or external support. Imho there is a big huge between being single with the attitude of resentment or lack vs being single with the attitude of abundance. At this point this is just speculation.
I'll get to prove my theory in the ultimate alchemy lab that is my body and my life. Will see how I'll sail this time around. Sailing Day 7. Last relapse 19.8.2021. So far on uninterrupted hardmode.
Wishing everyone a good day
Much love
EW