AStansfield's Reboot Journal


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Been PMO since mid teens (~15/16). Around 19, when I entered University, I would say it got really severe (PMO anywhere from 3-12 times a day up until a week ago). I tried quitting "casually" before but only managed 16 days, however I never encountered this forum at that point or anything similar (was religiously motivated).

Spring of 2019 I got into my first serious relationship, and at that time I didn't understand it but I had PIED. I thought it was just newbie anxiety or something like that. It didn't occur to me that PMOing actively during the relationship was damaging it as much as it did.

Fast forward to June 17th 2020, a few days after my 23rd birthday and I find out about this site from youtube. Due to being a Medical Student, what I've read really resonated with me, so I've been giving it my all 8). I'm gotten past the first week, but a strange occurrence made me want to reach out ot this forum.

Journal Beginning
>Days 1-6 No PMO: Up and down in terms of difficulty - any fantasizing was limited and wasn't about P but rather about my past relationship (at this time it's been around a year since the last time i've had S). Cravings were bad after a few days (Days 3/4), but I persevered by making every new tab/google chrome open up to the yourbrainonporn website.

>Day 7 No PMO: This was a day I had an exam in university, so stress/tension was high. It went well but I was very anxious the whole day due to it being in the afternoon and I'm an early riser (5AM usually). After success, I went out to celebrate with a friend of mine and had a nice unhealthy cheat meal ;D.

>Day 8 No PMO (Morning, Today as of this post). Preface: I noticed in the past week that I only had one wet dream and that was on Day 2. Morning W had only occurred once as well in the first week. Upon waking I decided to get another hour of sleep and during hypnagogia I had this strange "dream" where I was in my bed PMO'ing. I then woke up pretty freaked out because I felt like I just threw away my 1 week streak. Then I realized it was all just a dream. This prompted me to begin this journal and document occurrences like that and open up the discussion to more experienced rebooting members of the community.

Thank you for reading!


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Welcome here :) Writing a journal is a really helpful thing for many including myself. I hope you can find the power and strength to overcome this unwanted behaviour. Your studies are a great way to focus your energy on, I would also advise to find other hobbies or activities for yourself. Giving up porn is difficult for your brains, it still wants this same rush as you've trained your body to become accustomed to. Picking up some new exciting things in your life is a good way to avoid the urges from becoming too much :)

Good luck!


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Day 10 No PMO Update
10 days successfully completed! I'm still 6 days out from my "record", but I'm a staunch believer in good progress being any amount of progress.

In recent nights my dreams have filled with PM'ing without the O part (I realize in the dream that I shouldn't be doing this nonsense). It's quite strange, but if my REM-Self is aware of this glorious crusade then I will see this as a good thing!

Next update will be after completing Day 16.


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Morning of Day 15 No PMO
I know I said I was going to update once I completed Day 16, but something amazing happened.

My morning W was intense. Most likely the most intense it ever was. Lasted a full 5 minutes and then afterwards it was still what you could consider "half mast" for a bit. I admit I gently stroked it to test the sensitivity and the results were positive - it was not overly sensitive at all, maybe the opposite even. Ordinarily during PMO if I was ever this full I would be ready to O at any moment.

If this is only 2 weeks in then I am incredibly excited to see Day 90 and beyond.

Positive things i've noticed:
1. My hair seems... fuller? Smoother? More natural? I haven't changed my routine at all but my hair seems to be he healthier.
2. During my workouts (I workout 6 days a week) my energy has definitely been tip-top. I recently restarted a 5K program that I did last year, and I expected to be gasping for breath/dying by now during the workouts - but i'm totally energized!
3. Recovery from workouts is better. Overcoming what little DOMs I do get is also far easier than it ever has been. It's a mix of the test boost and the positive mental fortification brought on by no PMO.

Negative Things i've noticed:
1. Despite all of the above I have been slightly melancholy the past few days. I hope this isn't the beginning of the dreaded flatline, as I have an exam in 2 weeks and I need to power through the studying.

Overall, after 2 weeks the benefits are astounding! At this point I will update sporadically whenever something noteworthy occurs.


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Day 16 No PMO Complete

Day 16 complete and the record is broken! Overall this experience hasn't been very difficult, but i've had a strong wind blowing in my sails in the past month so lots of energy to direct into this effort.

I'm excited to see what Day 30, Day 60, Day 90, and inevitably Day 180 will look like. Day 180 especially because it also coincides with some fitness goals I have set around that date (hitting 10-12% body fat).

January 2021 is the beautiful finish line and beyond that who knows - but if I can make it there I can surely make it anywhere beyond that!


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Day 18 Update

Almost relapsed today. Somehow a porn ad got through my uBlock when I was surfing the web and it caught my monkey brain's attention a bit too long. There was no O, not even close. I guess the next phase is going to be difficult.

I need to be on guard and make sure I don't slip up the streak.


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Day 18 Update #2
Well bros, I done fucked up. Fell for the MO, though it was just my own non-porn related fantasies. The one upside from this I guess is that all my supplementation and Kegel exercises have definitely been working wonders. I would like to think this is just a glimpse of what will be commonplace when I succeed.

From YBOP:

"One of the most often asked questions is: "I've just relapsed, does this mean I am starting over at Day 1?" The simple answer is, "no." The days you spent not using porn have altered your brain in positive ways. Every time you say "no" to your porn habit, it strengthens your executive-control brain circuits and weakens your addiction circuits. Is an obese dieter back to day 1 because he pigged out on the weekend? No. Neither are you. Simply learn from the relapse, expect a strong chaser effect for a few days, take steps to prevent a similar one in the future, and start again."

After assessing and reading, I've decided to go this route: two different counters - one for NoFap and one for PMO. To be quite frank, the no porn wasn't difficult at all - but as someone who lives the student life (in Czechia no less), the amount of beautiful women per square kilometer is just too damn high (going to the gym especially). This means the real challenge is going to be NoFap 30 Days, then 60, then 90, then 120, and then 180+. 

I'll be doing daily (evening) updates inspired by another poster on this forum (Dr. Who). Wish me luck brothers!


but as someone who lives the student life (in Czechia no less), the amount of beautiful women per square kilometer is just too damn high (going to the gym especially).
Well, that's true from what I saw during my short visits in Prague. Poland has the same "problem" with beautiful, distracting girls. However, one of the reasons I decided to start my porn rehab was a lack of interest in real girls. I lost attraction and only porn stars were hot enough to turn me on. I mean I could meet a girl at the gym and appreciate her look, but erection was out of the question. She would have to stand naked in front of me and perform some sexual behaviour... To be honest, I thought It was caused by my unhappy push-and-pull relation with some girl (it lasted almost 3 years!) I desired and my perception that she was "the one and only", but... I don't know. Porn had its influence, I am sure.

I'm sorry you couldn't reach your goal on NOFAP field. If you feel alright with a new tactic, that's great. Personally I cannot accept such a distinction in my case. I want to fulfill 90 days plan and every compromise would bevery painful for me as I'm very sensitive about my goals and perfectionism.

But YBOP quotation is very PA-friendly, surprisingly liberal :). I see that everyone restarts their counter when they relapse and no one ever mentioned this "rule". All in all, what counts is your attitude!


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Dzie? dobry bracie!

I understand what you're saying, and I'm not trying to compromise here. I got overconfident as you can see from my previous posts and didn't know that subtle habits/behaviors were pushing me closer to lapsing on the pure monk mode nofap. Arrogance was my downfall, and now I'll be have to be on guard now. When I reach Day 30 of nofap it will be far more important to me than reaching Day X of no porn!

That porn counter may now have an 18 Day gap with the no fap counter, but that just means i'll be chasing that progress!


Yes, I've noticed your positive and optimistic style and I liked it. So far I feel the same, so we have (had?) that in common. This relapse came out of the blue when I was scrolling your journey... Hope you will sustain your previous good attitude despite the accidental relapse. It is somehow motivating for me as well (not mentioning that you are from the same part of Europe ;))


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Completed: Day 21 No PMO / Day 1 No Fap

3 weeks without any porn or suggestive material! It's a great milestone but unfortunately I have bad news as well.

There is a few days gap between this update and my last one - because I experienced first hand (no pun intended) the absolute absurdity that is the Chaser Effect.

That no fap relapse day + the day after was just outrageous - MO a total of about 8 times, though without any porn fantasies - just women in my life.

Now that i'm firmly familiar with my trigger and what can result of giving in, i'll raise up the watch and guard against this at I head towards my first 30 Day NoFap milestone!


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Completed: Day 22 No PMO / Day 2 No Fap

Writing this in the morning because last night I went out to party for the first time since the pandemic began. A lot of alcohol calories, kebab calories, and the like - but it's nice to let loose once in awhile when your day in day out consists of studying nonstop.

Not really much of a hangover, but I only slept 5 hours and I got a 7km run in about an hour and a half :p

Gotta reverse the damage done though!

On a more relatable note - my confidence in speaking with people (yes prior to liquid courage) has definitely shot up, especially with the women I went out with. Even though I relapsed on nofap, I think avoiding porn is definitely helping my perception of myself and others, especially the opposite sex.

On a troubling note - yesterday was probably the worst day I've had in the past month. Surprising to note too that it marked 30 straight days of working out/exercising actively (and the loss of 5kg to boot!) I had a very bad reaction to something on social media and thus I went ahead and permanently deleted Facebook (+Facebook Messenger), Twitter, Snapchat, and Instagram. It had nothing to do with my reboot but it confirmed that social media is a toxic fuckery that needn't be in my life on any level.

I don't even care about all the memories/things on those - I see them as relics of an age that need be forgotten. There is a new age approaching for me - a new era where the sun will shine out the darkness.

Thus concludes my after action report, see you space cowboys.


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Completed: Day 23 No PMO / Day 3 No Fap

Evening follow up to my morning write up. Studied all day until about 5pm when the fatigue caught up to me and I ended up taking a 3 and a hour nap. Probably fucked my sleeping schedule but I'm not pro-caffeine in my lifestyle right now so maybe it will be quicker to adjust.

Had a wet dream during my nap. If I recall I had a wet dream in my initial opening days of nofap, but I am unsure.

In other news - today in general has been an off day. The emotional impact of yesterday has me feeling lower (not really low, but certainly lower than normal). Exam is coming up in 5 days and i'd prefer to be in tip top mental and emotional health for it.

Still dead set on social media removal - 29 more days to go before their systems delete the accounts forever.

Not much else to say - morning run was very good and i'm excited for my gym workout tomorrow. 80kg for squat 5x5 - still a farcry from where I was awhile ago at 124kg 5x5, but progress is progress!

Thus concludes my after action report day 3 - see you space cowboys.


80kg for squat 5x5 - still a farcry from where I was awhile ago at 124kg 5x5, but progress is progress!
I think my record was 90, 5x5 as well ;) Now, after the lockdown, I started from 60 (I guess I could start from 70 easily, but I wanted to be very careful).

30 straight days of working out/exercising actively
That's very impressive. I couldn't be active the same way at my gym! Not possible.

Even though I relapsed on nofap, I think avoiding porn is definitely helping my perception of myself and others, especially the opposite sex.
And that's the best thing. I don't have such problems, but as you know from my journal I'm more concerned about my perception of their appeal.



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Completed: Day 24 No PMO / Day 4 No Fap

Writing this the morning after completing Day 24 No PMO/Day 4 NoFap.

Not much to report - I studied all day and went to the gym. The workout was good and I felt really good in contrast to the days prior.

I had a strange dream about my ex (we broke up almost a year ago at this point, around this time) - we were together again but nothing about the dream was sexual, we were just in an ideal committed relationship and neither of us were making the same mistakes we did before.

Then I got into a kung fu battle in an African Hotel after getting us into a car crash. Someone is going to interpret that and it isn't me ;D!

Ordinarily dreams about my ex leave me feeling kind of moody, but i'm getting ready for my morning cardio and i'm not too bothered. The dream for some odd reason did give me morning wood when I woke up... maybe because I was trying to steer the dream to a sexual place? Who knows.

That concludes after action report day 4 - see you space cowboys!


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Completed: Day 25 No PMO / Day 5 No Fap

Good morning run. Had some girl next door fantasies while trying to take a midday nap, but I passed out pretty quickly. Honestly does this horny-ness ever go away?

Tomorrow morning i'm doing my weigh in and judging by progress in the mirror it should be some good morning fuel for the rest of the day!

That concludes after action report day 5 - see you space cowboys!


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Completed: Day 26 No PMO / Day 6 No Fap

Studied all day. No fantasies. Didn't even touch my dick at all today except restroom time. Went for a nice evening bike ride with my mates who I won't see for awhile (they finished their semester).

Going to be 6-8 weeks completely alone in the city - probably some of the toughest time i'll experience on the journey but i'm optimistic since i'm avoiding the triggers i've identified previously.

Tomorrow is 84kg 5x5 Squat, Wednesday is 88kg 5x5, and then Friday is 92kg. The wednesday after that I should ideally hit 100kg 5x5 which has been my goal the past month. Pretty excited since the supposed test boost (which I anecdotally believe to be real) should peak around that point. Need all the help I can get to make those gains!

That's all for this one. That concludes after action report Day 6 - see you space cowboys!


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Completed: Day 27 No PMO / Day 7 No Fap

First week of No Fap (post 1st relapse) completed! Almost 28 days without porn as well. Nothing much to say about today, really.

That concludes this short AAR - see you space cowboys!


Really, really great achievement. I recently relapsed, but it was so naive and miserable and... I will write more in my journal. I have some surprising conclusions :)


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Completed: Day 28 No PMO / Day 8 No Fap

Studied all day. Exam Tomorrow. Friend was helping me study me and I had a few cigs to cope with the anxiety, but I have no intention of continuing it as a habit.

All in all, things are pretty good. The tough days will be when I won't have any academic objective and I will only have my Fitness Goals + this project.

That's all for this report, see you space cowboys!