Started Friday July 3rd

TheNorman

Active Member
Hello again to those I know and those that are new here. I am a very infrequent poster as you will see. Not a whole lot to report other than some erotic dreams lately that don't really lead to anything but good to be aware of them. Getting lots of stuff done around the house, a better partner and father. Trying not to "coast" so much and be more engaged. WIP you and I are on the same page, the pandemic was our saving grace, giving us the time to work on ourselves away from the hectic world. I have had moments of fear over what a return to the regular way of life will look like, but more than anything I'm just excited to get back out and have some pints with friends and play some sports and not fear for everyones health and safety all the time.

Keep your heads up and your eyes open gang, there's light at the end of the tunnel. Killing the P addiction is not the answer to all your problems but it sure is an answer to some!
 

workinprogressUK

Well-Known Member
Glad to read that things are still good for you, TheNorman. Sport, socialising and a couple of beers, without worrying about making each other ill, sounds like my idea of a perfect summer :cool:. Fingers crossed! I appreciate that line at the end of your post... "Killing the P addiction is not the answer to all your problems but it sure is an answer to some"!
 

TheNorman

Active Member
Wanted to drop in and say that I'm still doing very well. No P or M or any real draw towards either. My wife and are in a much better place than we have been. Family life is good, all things considered with covid and everything.

One thing I don't know if I've ever posted about is PIED. Maybe out of embarrassment or just not really thinking that applied to me as the O in PMO was never an issue. I stopped with PMO and MO last summer and the times that my wife and I have sex now are like night and day. I used to also have issues with my foreskin which I have fixed which helps with sex but also made MO all that more attractive as it was a sure thing, where O through intercourse was not. Then, when you know PMO is feeding that physical urge while also tapping into that deeply-entrenched dopamine train, it shouldn't come as a huge surprise that sex life suffers.

For anyone reading this, if there are issues with your ability to have sex and you're already on this forum for issues with P, I can tell you that for me, it was a much deeper problem than I even knew. I'm forever grateful to my therapist, my partner and some wise lads on his forum that all helped me gain a part of adult life that P had broken down.
 

TheNorman

Active Member
July 3rd 2020: Wife found porn on the computer and was very upset. Early in our relationship she had caught me and made it clear it was a deal-breaker for her (PMO not MO). I told her it wouldn't be an issue anymore and I believed that I would be able to just...stop. And for a couple weeks I did. Then it was late night TV shows with sex scenes and nudity and I rationalized it by saying it "wasn't P" so it was ok. Well...we all know how that goes; seek out more "not P" until eventually you're seeking out P that in your right mind would find at best disturbing and at worst disgusting. Your brain says "Hey get more of that chemical" so you PMO and your body produces a "hit" and it becomes a cycle. Add in some shame from a highly religious upbringing as well as a constant feeling of needing to "hide" who I was because of not fitting in with that religious upbringing and you literally coast through life for years, seeking out that hit to quiet that part of your brain that wants it's chemicals and then feeling shitty for it.

That was over a year ago (I was camping on the exact 1 year day...never been good with "anniversaries").
What have I learned in 1 year of not PMOing?
Pretty simply: PMO and even MO are not needed. Like, at all.

For some of you, you'll think "MO is natural and I need it". Maybe you do, I'm not you. For me it became a reminder of the selfish time before so I avoided it, sometimes even in some fairly intense discomfort. Dull ache in my balls is a lot more tolerable than the ever-present feeling of shame and disgust with myself for not being able to stop myself from seeking it out.

I don't MO or PMO because I have sex much more regularly with my wife, and I have sex much more regularly with my wife because I:
A: Have a much stronger connection with her because I'm not hiding things from her which means I feel better about myself.
B: Don't get sexual release from anyone/where else.

This past year has been horrible in a lot of ways. Covid, heath issues in the family, my wife learning that I had been lying to her for over a decade and how that has affected our relationship. It's also been the best year of my adult life because I feel free from PMO for the first time ever and it's a lot easier to stay away from the "high" of PMO when you constantly feel a "high" from being able to be yourself.

Thanks for reading and hopefully you are on a similar path. I'm not some guru or expert, I'm just a regular guy who was able to lean on some other smarter guys on this forum, get with a good therapist and have an amazing partner. You can kick this and it will be worth it.
 

guitar1968

Well-Known Member
Very inspirational story. Thanks for coming back here and sharing it. I'm only 82 days in, but I'm starting to feel much the same. It really isn't something we need, we are made to feel we need it. Being away from it you realize life goes on without porn and in fact is much better without it.

I wish you good luck and continued success!
 

TheNorman

Active Member
Hello to all. It's been over a year since I've watched P and now over a year and a month since I've MO'd (which before my journey I would not have thought possible). Things on that front seem so far from a concern these days. I would love to get back on the horse from a working-out/sports perspective that covid has put a damper on but no excuses, I can do chin-ups and pushups at home and yet rarely do. Still reading lots of books, still getting in lots of nature walks and spending time with the family. I know I sound like a broken record but life is much better without all that other stuff in it. Hope anyone reading this can gain something from reading this and see that there are people who have been down and gotten back up. You can do it.
 

workinprogressUK

Well-Known Member
Hello to all. It's been over a year since I've watched P and now over a year and a month since I've MO'd (which before my journey I would not have thought possible). Things on that front seem so far from a concern these days. I would love to get back on the horse from a working-out/sports perspective that covid has put a damper on but no excuses, I can do chin-ups and pushups at home and yet rarely do. Still reading lots of books, still getting in lots of nature walks and spending time with the family. I know I sound like a broken record but life is much better without all that other stuff in it. Hope anyone reading this can gain something from reading this and see that there are people who have been down and gotten back up. You can do it.
I gain good stuff very time I read one of your posts, my friend. Congratulations on a life well-live. Keep up that great work!!
 
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