question about non pornographic stimuli and also fantasy stimuli

suprastim

Member
Hi all,

i'm off porn. I have a question about:

1. Nonporn stimuli: Is it bad to look at naked pictures for masturbating, or even just pictures of scantily clad women? Will all of this inhibit recovery?
2. I found when masturbating my brain often tries to move back to a pornographic stimulus, to remember something from a scene - should I actively try to avoid this?
 
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Icandoit

Guest
suprastim said:
1. Nonporn stimuli: Is it bad to look at naked pictures for masturbating, or even just pictures of scantily clad women? Will all of this inhibit recovery?
2. I found when masturbating my brain often tries to move back to a pornographic stimulus, to remember something from a scene - should I actively try to avoid this?

Yes. Everything that is not real should be avoided. This means pictures, porn, even videos whose role is to turn you on.
 

doneatlast

Well-Known Member
A good rule of thumb to keep in mind: if you masturbate to it, it is porn.

If you take a photo of a snickers wrapper, edit it to be black and white and super arty and then masturbate to it, it is porn.  Granted, it is a very strange type of porn, but porn nonetheless.  And, I guarantee if you do this enough times, those pictures will eventually arouse you because you created that association.

Memories of porn are still porn.  Memories of real life experiences relived over and over again in your mind essentially become porn.  Thought experiment: if I tape myself having sex with someone and watch the tape back and masturbate to it, is it porn or is it a real life experience?  Now, if instead of a video recording, I'm relying on my own recollection.  How about then? 
 

suprastim

Member
DoneAtLAst, you are absolutely right. But if memories, fantasy etc, and other internal stimuli are also pornographic of sorts, then how can we masturbate 'healthily'?
 
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Icandoit

Guest
suprastim said:
DoneAtLAst, you are absolutely right. But if memories, fantasy etc, and other internal stimuli are also pornographic of sorts, then how can we masturbate 'healthily'?

I suggest you refrain yourself from masturbating right now. Try to work on quitting porn. You just asked "How can we masturbate healthily?" If you don't know the answer to this, maybe you shouldn't mess with it right now. There is time for everything. Give your brain a dopamine rest.
 

suprastim

Member
Icandoit said:
suprastim said:
DoneAtLAst, you are absolutely right. But if memories, fantasy etc, and other internal stimuli are also pornographic of sorts, then how can we masturbate 'healthily'?

I suggest you refrain yourself from masturbating right now. Try to work on quitting porn. You just asked "How can we masturbate healthily?" If you don't know the answer to this, maybe you shouldn't mess with it right now. There is time for everything. Give your brain a dopamine rest.

Yee, I have been avoiding M entirely, moreso I'm just curious
 

doneatlast

Well-Known Member
suprastim said:
DoneAtLAst, you are absolutely right. But if memories, fantasy etc, and other internal stimuli are also pornographic of sorts, then how can we masturbate 'healthily'?

I would argue that you can't.  It is all artificial and it is imbalanced towards dopamine rushes and pleasure of ejaculation void of any relational stimulus.  Also, once a person becomes a porn addict, the ship has sort of sailed between porn fantasy and masturbation, and the two will always be linked.  That is just my own opinion.  There have been people around these boards who say they've kept masturbation but have quit porn and successfully rebooted, but they are very rare.  More often I see people who try to keep masturbation and they either A) are extremely relapse prone because they need something to peek at when they wank, or B) they manage to quit porn, but end up not getting any of the benefits of quitting, like lowered anxiety, curing PIED, etc. even after several months of porn abstinence.

If you want to try it and see if you're one of those who can keep one and not the other then go for it.  It just doesn't have that great of a track record.
 

suprastim

Member
DoneAtLast said:
suprastim said:
DoneAtLAst, you are absolutely right. But if memories, fantasy etc, and other internal stimuli are also pornographic of sorts, then how can we masturbate 'healthily'?

I would argue that you can't.  It is all artificial and it is imbalanced towards dopamine rushes and pleasure of ejaculation void of any relational stimulus.  Also, once a person becomes a porn addict, the ship has sort of sailed between porn fantasy and masturbation, and the two will always be linked.  That is just my own opinion.  There have been people around these boards who say they've kept masturbation but have quit porn and successfully rebooted, but they are very rare.  More often I see people who try to keep masturbation and they either A) are extremely relapse prone because they need something to peek at when they wank, or B) they manage to quit porn, but end up not getting any of the benefits of quitting, like lowered anxiety, curing PIED, etc. even after several months of porn abstinence.

If you want to try it and see if you're one of those who can keep one and not the other then go for it.  It just doesn't have that great of a track record.

That's really interesting. It's almost like saying the brain is broken after becoming addicted to P, and then M is tainted forever. I'll be thinking about it (in the meantime abstaining religiously from P and also from M).
 
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Icandoit

Guest
suprastim said:
That's really interesting. It's almost like saying the brain is broken after becoming addicted to P, and then M is tainted forever. I'll be thinking about it (in the meantime abstaining religiously from P and also from M).

Masturbation is linked to porn because we masturbate while watching. There is a connection between them. After many years of porn, many of us reach a point where we can't masturbate without porn, either watching it or thinking about it. So that's why I don't know how someone could masturbate "healthily" at that stage. I recommend staying away from it for now. You don't have to rush anything, the future will tell. Take me, I've been masturbating to porn since I was 13. At one point I tried to masturbate without thinking about porn and, after jerking a limp dick for 10 minutes, I realized I didn't know how to do it. I read what people said about how to masturbate and touching myself was like just moving my hand up and down. It didn't make me feel anything. And then this thought came: "Man, just watch porn, stop fucking around." And if it leads to porn already, while I'm trying to quit it, this is not good. I think many guys ask about masturbation because they want the dopamine which is understandable because we move around with an addicted brain. It's a trick created by the addiction to return us to PMO. Remember that if you stay away from porn, the addiction will try to find any little thing to suck dopamine from (no pun intended). Masturbation could really be the door back to relapse.
 
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