My over one year experience

Hi to all. It's been a while since my last post but it doesn't mean I'm not in the frontline.

I started to fight to quit porn since May of 2019 with very good results. Since that date to today I've only had less than 10 PMOs in 16 months, which is great considering that I used to spend hours on fridays and saturdays nights fapping myself. My last PMO was 4 months ago and from that date I didn't have the urgency to turn the PC/cellphone on to watch porn.

The bad and the good news:

The bad news:

I'm still struggling with the withdrawal symptoms: In my bad days I feel tiredness, depression, bad mood, the flatline and the world put all over on my shoulders. Fortunately, the bad days are less frecuent, but they are still present and I have to deal with them.

The good news:

In my good days everything blooms: The smells of the trees, the flowers' , the birds' singing, the food's taste, I see natural women's beauty, the feelings to workout... JOYFULNESS. I know it sounds naive, but when you lose all those things is when you know their value.

Do not lose hope:

I know it's hard, nobody told us that it was going to be easy. The first months are the hardest ones, be strong and don't quit the fight because of a few relapses, they are completely normal and will decrease with the passing of the months.

Advices:

Work, get a job, hit the gym, run, play sports, read good books, play educative videogames, watch series/movies, BELIEVE (Whatever your religion is, praying helps A LOT) Occupy your time, don't let intrusive thoughts get into your brain.

Well, that's all. I hope it had helped you. The intention of typing this experience is to give some hope to those who are struggling against porn addiction, to tell you that the good days will come. You will fall sometimes, but if you remain strong you will win  ;)
 

doneatlast

Well-Known Member
Congrats, Emanuel.  I'm going on three years clean, and I remember that phase of recovery very well.  You're starting to lose your taste and rewire, but there is still that weird hangover.

On the withdrawals, you very well may find that things that were once porn triggers will make you feel those withdrawals.  They aren't making you relapse, but they can still pop up and make you feel awful.  For example, looking at social media may not make your heart race and white knuckle trying to avoid looking at porn, but it will still have a very strong impact on your brain, even moreso than it would on a non-porn affected person.  That is how I am, anyway.  I still have "triggers" even though I have zero desire to look at porn or play with myself. 

At my stage I'm still learning about myself and what makes me feel certain ways, and it will likely be a life long process.  Ultimately I'm lucky for it because most people who never had addictions will still have all this stuff going on under the hood, but have never needed to like we might.  I've been forced to be more conscious of my mental/brain health, and ultimately that has been for my benefit.

I've also been taking a supplement called NAC, at the recommendation of a poster over at YBR.  I'm normally pretty skeptical of stuff like that, but it has a good track record with addictions.  The science actually shows that it seems to work better at helping people after ending an addiction than while they're trying to quit, so it might be worth looking into.  I'm not a doctor (nor do I play one on TV) so do your homework first, but it has been good for me.

Stick around!  These boards always need a few extra posters who have good thoughts to offer.
 
Thanks Done and congratulations for your success and discipline.

All this time it's like I don't know myself: I don't need any filter in my PC/Cellphone and successfully neutralize the old porn videos in my mind quickly.

My dick is completely dead most of the time, but my sex drive comes intenselly when it does. Nevertheless I never went through any porn site, I didn't feel the need, it's amazing.

Every day clean is an achivement

It's like I'm a new person ;)

Cheers and stick around you too.
 
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