This time, I have to succeed.

mousemat1

Well-Known Member
OK. It's day 191 of no porn.

I realised something last night. The idea of watching transexual porn entered my head yesterday and it seems so strange. It seems that my brain is returning to it's default setting and that my fetishes are going away.

I wake up with an erection some mornings. I tried to get hard this morning but nothing happened. I can't say I'm in a 100% flatline still, but things are still not working down there. I would say I am about 10% on the way to recovery. I still have a long way to go.

Good luck to everyone here who is struggling with this. We can do this!
 

bilbobaggins

Active Member
Nice to hear from you, mousemat. Congratulations on 191 days. It?s definitely a long process, we have to be patient. You?re doing very good, keep it up!
 

Maglue

Active Member
Hey buddy I found a great page its on the success stories page I posted in it before...its from a Chinese angle..
You Have to heal the mind and the body or will never be able to move on from the addiction... and as soon as you start seeing results then our guards come down and we revert...
It has to be a future of no masterbation ... or at best very minimally ...
Check it out let us know what you think...
 

mousemat1

Well-Known Member
Hey Maglue.

I'll check it out. I've been meditating for many years, so I kind of understand the importance of healing the mind. I think in my case the physiological changes in my brain have made quitting so difficult. My mind can rationalise and see what my brain is asking it to do, but sometimes these biological impulses are too strong. It's like my mind can observe my breathing, but no matter how hard I try I can't stop myself from breathing. That's an extreme example, but I think it is relevant.

Fighting the urge to watch porn this time seems a little easier, probably because I've rebooted several times before and this has weakened the physiological changes in my brain which lead to addiction.

Thanks for the advice man. It's great to know we have each others support.
 

mousemat1

Well-Known Member
It's day 204 of no porn!! I still haven't healed. I still can't get hard for sex with my partner.

I was having some strong morning erections and I masturbated a few times (without porn). I decided to stop masturbating and I think this has started a new flatline. I tried to get hard to touch when I woke up this morning and there was nothing happening.

My fetishes seem to have disappeared completely, although I know I could reignite them with one slip up. Porn induced fetishes fade, but we have created the connection between the fetish and the reward of an orgasm, so I don't think they disappear completely.

Anyway, I consider this a sign of improvement. I don't have any urges to watch porn at the moment, so I'm just on cruise control to be honest. The way I feel right now, another 161 days isn't going to cure me. I hope to see some solid improvement before the year is up, but I think this is going to take longer than a year. I'm in it for the long haul, so I've just got to face this reality.

Stay strong. It's been great reading some success stories on here recently. Well done to anyone who has recovered. Good luck to the rest of us on our way out of this.
 

Puggler

Active Member
mousemat1 said:
It's day 204 of no porn!! I still haven't healed. I still can't get hard for sex with my partner.

I was having some strong morning erections and I masturbated a few times (without porn). I decided to stop masturbating and I think this has started a new flatline. I tried to get hard to touch when I woke up this morning and there was nothing happening.

My fetishes seem to have disappeared completely, although I know I could reignite them with one slip up. Porn induced fetishes fade, but we have created the connection between the fetish and the reward of an orgasm, so I don't think they disappear completely.

Anyway, I consider this a sign of improvement. I don't have any urges to watch porn at the moment, so I'm just on cruise control to be honest. The way I feel right now, another 161 days isn't going to cure me. I hope to see some solid improvement before the year is up, but I think this is going to take longer than a year. I'm in it for the long haul, so I've just got to face this reality.

Stay strong. It's been great reading some success stories on here recently. Well done to anyone who has recovered. Good luck to the rest of us on our way out of this.

why wont you start using ed pills?
 

mousemat1

Well-Known Member
Hi Puggler.

It's because I know it's porn induced. The problem is in my brain. The main issue is that my libido is zero. ED pills simply aren't going to address that problem. If I started getting excited about having sex but can't get it up, I'll consider ED pills. Right now, I want to heal in as natural a way as possible. It's frustrating, but I created this problem for myself. I've just got to deal with the frustration.

How are you getting on?
 

Puggler

Active Member
mousemat1 said:
Hi Puggler.

It's because I know it's porn induced. The problem is in my brain. The main issue is that my libido is zero. ED pills simply aren't going to address that problem. If I started getting excited about having sex but can't get it up, I'll consider ED pills. Right now, I want to heal in as natural a way as possible. It's frustrating, but I created this problem for myself. I've just got to deal with the frustration.

How are you getting on?

I'm on  7 months normal mode + 40th day hardmode. Couple of days ago I had risen libido and saw the biggest improvements ever. You can check it:
http://legacy.rebootnation.org/index.php?topic=19964.0
I think 7 months of normal mode also worked fine. (what is your opinion?)
I going to talk with Noah Church soon. you already know whats my main goal. I think after 90 days im going to use pills
 
Congrats on the 204 day, I have started my journey day 2 here and seeing your journey it is valuable for me and gives me strength to continue. Keep on with the good job my friend

mousemat1 said:
It's day 204 of no porn!! I still haven't healed. I still can't get hard for sex with my partner.

I was having some strong morning erections and I masturbated a few times (without porn). I decided to stop masturbating and I think this has started a new flatline. I tried to get hard to touch when I woke up this morning and there was nothing happening.

My fetishes seem to have disappeared completely, although I know I could reignite them with one slip up. Porn induced fetishes fade, but we have created the connection between the fetish and the reward of an orgasm, so I don't think they disappear completely.

Anyway, I consider this a sign of improvement. I don't have any urges to watch porn at the moment, so I'm just on cruise control to be honest. The way I feel right now, another 161 days isn't going to cure me. I hope to see some solid improvement before the year is up, but I think this is going to take longer than a year. I'm in it for the long haul, so I've just got to face this reality.

Stay strong. It's been great reading some success stories on here recently. Well done to anyone who has recovered. Good luck to the rest of us on our way out of this.
 

mousemat1

Well-Known Member
Thanks Zac

Be patient with the process. As you can see, this is taking a long time for me, but the rewards will be worth it in the end.

My advice is to check in on the forum regularly. There are some amazing people on here who will offer you honest advice. The recovery stories are inspiring, and the stories of people like me who are struggling will help you realise that you're not alone.

Good luck!!!  ;)
 

mousemat1

Well-Known Member
I've been having some issues logging onto the new forum. I don't know why, but tonight I got in!

I'm still just following the program. I've been masturbating about once every two weeks. I've been getting really strong morning erection which just don't want to go down. I think this is a positive sign. However, I seem to have a flatline for a day or two after masturbating, so I think I'm going to try and go monk mode again.

All my weird fetishes have disappeared. I feel really happy about this because it just means I'm less tempter to watch porn. I still get some cravings, but nothing too bad. The big problem is that my libido is zero! I've tried to get things going with my partner (thank fuck she's really patient) but I just feel nothing. It's driving me mad!

I guess we've just got to keep walking the path to recovery. Good luck to everyone struggling with this.
 

bilbobaggins

Active Member
I've been having some issues logging onto the new forum. I don't know why, but tonight I got in!

I'm still just following the program. I've been masturbating about once every two weeks. I've been getting really strong morning erection which just don't want to go down. I think this is a positive sign. However, I seem to have a flatline for a day or two after masturbating, so I think I'm going to try and go monk mode again.

All my weird fetishes have disappeared. I feel really happy about this because it just means I'm less tempter to watch porn. I still get some cravings, but nothing too bad. The big problem is that my libido is zero! I've tried to get things going with my partner (thank fuck she's really patient) but I just feel nothing. It's driving me mad!

I guess we've just got to keep walking the path to recovery. Good luck to everyone struggling with this.
Nice to hear from you, even if everything is not perfect. At least, there’s some progress. I hope things will improve for you in the next months. Take care, man.
 
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