akpal2 said:Jack89 said:Last week I felt secure, I was fantasising about sex with girls and having enjoyable sex. This week I?ve had quite a low mood and then this dream set me back, I ended up fantasising about the old porn again and then eventually cracked. I don?t know what to think anymore. When I?m feeling myself I?m pretty sure I?m straight but when the porn urges come back it could be anything.
yes, it will happen every time you go back to porn. Once you leave all this behind, you will revert back to your regular sexuality. Your urges to view gay porn will subside. Then if you start watching straight porn again, you will then again progressively move towards gay porn. Unfortunately that's how this addiction works. It will move you to seek more and more shocking material. It happens to me too. I am married, two kids, but suddenly i find that i am craving gay porn because straight porn isn't doing it for me anymore. And I like "WTF.....".
So yes, we have to leave this shit behind and give our brains a long needed break.
Concentrate on recovering and not giving in to the chaser effect. You're definitely making progress.
Thanks your words of support.
Tbh I?m thinking of consulting a doctor. I think this might be some deeper in terms of my obsessive thinking, even last week when all I could think about was girls, it was obsessive, all day long etc. I was enjoying it because it felt like me but honestly, I don?t think it was a particularly healthy thought pattern. Sexuality should be something you experience and don?t obsess over.