I need to do this. (Relapse. Starting again)

Androg

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My gran has been moved from hospital into a care home. She cant look after herself anymore and her confusion is now dementia. Had a really tough visit with her today. Lots of tears from us both. Had an acting out urge but opted to come on here. I cannot recall where I saw it but the phrase "I noticed a pattern so I made a choice" has been very helpful in trying times.

Also huge news.

I am going to be a Father. Had 12 week scan the other day and watching them kick their little legs really blew my mind!
Sorry to hear about your grandmother. I am sure she will be happy about your news, if she can understand it.
 

Chris1986

Active Member
Sorry to hear about your grandmother. I am sure she will be happy about your news, if she can understand it.
She gets very excited about it but it's brand new news each time I tell her.
She has started believing this delusion that her sister has all this power and turned us against her and its her sisters fault she is in the care home. Really sad.
 

Androg

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She gets very excited about it but it's brand new news each time I tell her.
She has started believing this delusion that her sister has all this power and turned us against her and its her sisters fault she is in the care home. Really sad.
The one good thing about dementia is that you can have the same conversation with the person every day. You never need to think of new material. No point in being sad about it, because the person has no idea that they are stuck in a loop.

Just hold her hand and be loving while you’re there with her And don’t listen to the content of what she’s saying. Just remember her as she was when her brain was working correctly.

Hope this helps. My mother had dementia so I had a lot of practice.
 

Chris1986

Active Member
The one good thing about dementia is that you can have the same conversation with the person every day. You never need to think of new material. No point in being sad about it, because the person has no idea that they are stuck in a loop.

Just hold her hand and be loving while you’re there with her And don’t listen to the content of what she’s saying. Just remember her as she was when her brain was working correctly.

Hope this helps. My mother had dementia so I had a lot of practice.
Thank you for your advise.
 

Chris1986

Active Member
Been a bit of a stressful week so far. Work has been a bit of stress and taking one of the rats yesterday ended up taking up a lot more time out of my day than I hoped. Thankfully they are still ok though just need regular teeth trimming!
My uncle who was Ill is now back in hospital.
I havent felt like I have had much time for self care lately as I have ended up working the last two saturdays and sunday just gone I had a family event as well as the next day.
I am home early as started early (just before 7am) I am hurting, I am tired and head is feeling quite full. felt an urge but "noticed a pattern and made a choice" and came onto here and Fortify to calm myself. Think I will do a meditation in a bit.

229 days.
 

Androg

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Been a bit of a stressful week so far. Work has been a bit of stress and taking one of the rats yesterday ended up taking up a lot more time out of my day than I hoped. Thankfully they are still ok though just need regular teeth trimming!
My uncle who was Ill is now back in hospital.
I havent felt like I have had much time for self care lately as I have ended up working the last two saturdays and sunday just gone I had a family event as well as the next day.
I am home early as started early (just before 7am) I am hurting, I am tired and head is feeling quite full. felt an urge but "noticed a pattern and made a choice" and came onto here and Fortify to calm myself. Think I will do a meditation in a bit.

229 days.
Can you give the rats something hard to chew on so you don’t have to take them to the dentist all the time???
 

Chris1986

Active Member
So Thursday evening my partner was in major pain shooting from her groin running down her leg. I have never seen her in so much pain. I wanted to.call an ambulance but she got me to call 111. They sent an ambulance. I thought we were losing the baby. I was so scared. Thankfully baby is ok but my partner has PGP brought on by hyper mobility. She needs physio. While ambulance crewvwere checking her over I had a call from my father. I thought he heard we had an Ambulance round. He was in fact calling me to say my uncle didn't have long left.... he passed that night.

Everything feels like a lot right now.
 

Chris1986

Active Member
Both my gran and uncle have passed. My uncle first about a month ago and my gran a few weeks ago. Her funeral was Tuesday. It was a hard day but upon reflection I feel lighter and more grounded currently. Things have felt pretty chaotic and dark thoughts were looming.

I am glad to have had them both in my life. I am happy they no longer suffer.

Changed up my morning routine I know get up earlier (6:30am) and do yoga/stretches for 20 to 40 minutes before making and consuming a smoothie that I normally prepared morning before. Sometimes it's just cereal if ran out of time or ingredients evening before. Finding having a gentle. Quiet and non rushed morning is doing me good. Sometimes find enough time to write some English language Haiku's.

Some examples.

"Writing soothes my mind
Working out puzzles inside
Always find the time."

"A kick to my ear
saying not ready yet dad
The wait is too long."

My partner is now 7 months pregnant. I am having a son and I cannot wait.
His room is nearly ready and have ended up decorating hallway landing and stairs. Things have been busy and they are going to get busier but going to love my clan having a new member.

I forget how helpful writing these are. I must make time to come back here more often. I hope you are all well and if you are new and have questions about my journey feel free to message me.
 
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