I couldn't agree more. I recently re-watched a movie from the '70s called Vanishing Point. There was a scene with a nude young woman riding a motorcycle. It was not prurient in any sense of the word and, from reading an interview with the actress, she had specifically told them that she did not want to be filmed in such as way as to put her genitals on display. Frankly, I found the scene beautiful and not exciting. In part, I'm certain that having read her words on the subject helped me not to depersonalize her. Also, I think that my attitude has changed greatly. I no longer see people around me as being sexually available at the drop of a hat.fcjl8 said:I think nudity and sensuality are generally positive parts of the human experience. We have been created ( designed and evolved ) to enjoy and respond to these states. But, there is a line that us PMO addicts crossed way back that actually hurt that precious relationship. Great that you are going so far beyond just the base desires.
I think free from PMO we can rediscover the healthy aspects of nudity and the wonderful physical pleasures of being with a partner.
Nudity is not a commodity, a "thing" packaged for consumers and easily re-stocked.
Believe it or not, I was raised to believe that most people lived with no sexual self-control whatsoever. I know that sounds bizarre, but that is truly what my mother believed. In her opinion, anyone that did not belong to the same religious denomination as her must have been promiscuous, amoral people that would cheat on their spouse in a heartbeat. This, I believe, played a role in my porn and masturbation problems. An unintended consequence of her beliefs was that I felt that everyone around me was doing some pretty racy and exciting stuff. I believe that at least part of my sex addiction was an attraction to the sense of danger stemming from this worldview.
One epiphany was during a time when I was quite despondent and considered a casual sexual encounter. What I realized was that I really didn't want that at all. While a sexual encounter sounded exciting what I really wanted was some wholesome female companionship. Translation: I would have preferred a nice chat over a cup of coffee. Asking myself what I really wanted may have been the single smartest thing I have ever done in my life. It saved me from the possibility of exposure to disease by having sex with a highly promiscuous person. It saved me from having the memory of such an encounter; a memory that may have seemed less pleasant once the lust had worn off. A good friend of mine gave in to such an urge some time back and reported feeling "dirty" afterwards.
Anyhow, the epiphany was the fact that my lust wasn't really for the sake of lust; it was more a desperate desire for companionship and intimacy.